Mrs. Jameson: And of course, some of our alumni include John Kennedy, Franklin Roosevelt, newly appointed Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
George: That's an awful lot of Democrats.
[cut to George and Mary wearing Caltech clothing with Mr. Stevens:]
George: Although Harvard did have some impressive alumni.
Mary: Bunch of presidents and that gal on the court.
George: Mm-hmm.

George: And Sheldon's fine. You know what he's like. If someone took him, I'm sure they'll bring him right back.

Georgie: A bill? Really?
George: Room and board, buddy.
Georgie: $50 a month for food?
George: The way you eat, I should've gone $50 a week.
Georgie: Laundry services?
George: Your poor mother has to touch your underwear.
Georgie: What's the $10 a month "peema" charge?
George: Oh, P-I-M-A, that's a "Pain in My Ass" tax. My way of getting compensated for you taking years off my life.

Georgie: You know what else is nice?
George: Hmm?
Georgie: I get to learn from all your parenting mistakes.
George: I'm starting to think letting you live this long was one of 'em.
Georgie: Like that. I'd never say something so awful to my kid. [George scoffs] Thanks, big guy.

Audrey: I just think you may want to try speaking more properly in front of your daughter.
Georgie: Ain't nothin' wrong with the way I talk. Lotta people talk like me.
Audrey: True, but maybe CeeCee will have better opportunities in life if she's well-spoken.
Georgie: She don't even talk yet.
Audrey: No, she doesn't. [sighs] But she's listening and she's learning, and we don't want her first word to be "dang it."
Georgie: Better that than whatever the snooty version of "dang it" is.
Audrey: It's "darn it."
Georgie: Dang it, I knew that.

Mandy: Yeah, you don't need a book. Let's just start simple. Um, instead of "ain't," try "isn't."
Georgie: That isn't gonna be a problem.
Mandy: There you go. Now, let's work on "wasn't."
Georgie: Wadn't.
Mandy: Wasn't.
Georgie: Wadn't.
Mandy: See, I'm not hearing the "S."
Georgie: That's 'cause it wadn't there.

Georgie: You got to eat them Cheerios, they're good for you. You can tell 'cause there ain't no cartoon on the box. Now, Cocoa Puffs got that bird on 'em, and he's cuckoo for 'em.