George: You want to explain yourself?
Sheldon: I'd rather just go to bed, since I have to be up in a few hours anyway.
George: Look, I understand you're tired, but that is no reason for you-
Sheldon: I'm not just tired. I'm exhausted. Everything hurts. I get up in the morning to do this job I don't even like. And I'm doing it just for the money, and it's not even a lot of money. I keep trying harder and harder, and it doesn't even make a difference. So if you're going to yell at me or punish me, let's just get it over with.
George: I'm not gonna punish you.
Sheldon: Why not? I deserve it.
George: Let me tell you about my day. I got yelled at by the principal for benching a linebacker who's flunking English. Then I got yelled at even more by the kid's parents. Then I had to break up a fight in the locker room. Got elbowed in the neck.
Sheldon: That's a rough day.
George: That was all before 10:00 a.m. So I get what you're going through. But you'll notice, I didn't come home and take it out on you.
Sheldon: No, you didn't.
George: I want you to get back in there, apologize to everyone, and finish your dinner.
Sheldon: Yes, sir.

Mary: So he's really good to graduate?
Principal Petersen: He sure is. I got to tell ya, usually when kids leave school after two years, it's not for college. It's for prison or pregnancy.
George: Well, between Georgie and Missy, we may hit the trifecta.
Mary: George!
George: Well, I'm not rooting for it. It's just a thing that could happen.

Georgie: You know what else is nice?
George: Hmm?
Georgie: I get to learn from all your parenting mistakes.
George: I'm starting to think letting you live this long was one of 'em.
Georgie: Like that. I'd never say something so awful to my kid. [George scoffs] Thanks, big guy.

Georgie: A bill? Really?
George: Room and board, buddy.
Georgie: $50 a month for food?
George: The way you eat, I should've gone $50 a week.
Georgie: Laundry services?
George: Your poor mother has to touch your underwear.
Georgie: What's the $10 a month "peema" charge?
George: Oh, P-I-M-A, that's a "Pain in My Ass" tax. My way of getting compensated for you taking years off my life.

Adult Sheldon: Ignoring things that irritate me isn't my strong suit. Obsessively fixating on them, now that's what gets me out of bed in the morning.

Adult Sheldon: My father's wisdom touched me deeply. Which is why, to this day, no matter what I'm going through, I am never irritating or abusive to any of my friends or loved ones. Ask them. They'll tell you.

Billy Sparks: Hey, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Hello, Billy.
Billy Sparks: Are you our new paperboy?
Sheldon: Yes, I'm joining the work-a-day world.
Billy Sparks: I work, too! I take care of our chickens.
Sheldon: Don't get the wrong idea. When I grow up, I plan on being a theoretical physicist.
Billy Sparks: Cool. I'm sticking with chickens.
Sheldon: All righty then. Have a nice day.
Billy Sparks: You, too. [looking at the newspaper] Oh, cool, it's Monday.