Meemaw: An "A"? That's nice, sweetie.
Missy: It's Medford from the year I was born.
Sheldon: Aren't we going a little overboard with this "A" thing?
George: Hey, some of us never got an "A."
Mary: Really? Not even one?
Meemaw: If only they graded lunch.
George: I'll have you know, I love my body. [Meemaw chuckles]

Mary: So he's really good to graduate?
Principal Petersen: He sure is. I got to tell ya, usually when kids leave school after two years, it's not for college. It's for prison or pregnancy.
George: Well, between Georgie and Missy, we may hit the trifecta.
Mary: George!
George: Well, I'm not rooting for it. It's just a thing that could happen.

Georgie: You know what else is nice?
George: Hmm?
Georgie: I get to learn from all your parenting mistakes.
George: I'm starting to think letting you live this long was one of 'em.
Georgie: Like that. I'd never say something so awful to my kid. [George scoffs] Thanks, big guy.

Georgie: A bill? Really?
George: Room and board, buddy.
Georgie: $50 a month for food?
George: The way you eat, I should've gone $50 a week.
Georgie: Laundry services?
George: Your poor mother has to touch your underwear.
Georgie: What's the $10 a month "peema" charge?
George: Oh, P-I-M-A, that's a "Pain in My Ass" tax. My way of getting compensated for you taking years off my life.

Georgie: [enunciating] Your mother has been helping me, and it has not been easy. But I'm going to keep working on it for you. Okay, let's get you cleaned up.
Mandy: See? He's tryin'.
Georgie: Try-ing.
Audrey: It's nice to see. Who's ready for coffee?
Georgie: I believe you mean, "Whom's ready for coffee?" [exits]
Audrey: Whom's?
Mandy: Oh, let him have this one.

Georgie: You got to eat them Cheerios, they're good for you. You can tell 'cause there ain't no cartoon on the box. Now, Cocoa Puffs got that bird on 'em, and he's cuckoo for 'em.

Audrey: I just think you may want to try speaking more properly in front of your daughter.
Georgie: Ain't nothin' wrong with the way I talk. Lotta people talk like me.
Audrey: True, but maybe CeeCee will have better opportunities in life if she's well-spoken.
Georgie: She don't even talk yet.
Audrey: No, she doesn't. [sighs] But she's listening and she's learning, and we don't want her first word to be "dang it."
Georgie: Better that than whatever the snooty version of "dang it" is.
Audrey: It's "darn it."
Georgie: Dang it, I knew that.