Jana: So you're saying you have no feelings for her at all?
Georgie: I wasn't at the restaurant with her, I was there with you.
Jana: That doesn't answer my question!
Georgie: I was hoping you wouldn't pick up on that.
Jana: Did you take me there on purpose?
Georgie: Hold on a second. Is this one of those fights where we end up making out in the back seat?
Jana: No.
Georgie: That's too bad.

Mary: Bless us, Lord, for the food we are about to receive, and bless the hands that prepared it. And thank you for Georgie getting his job back. Amen.
All: Amen.
George: That was nice of Dale.
Georgie: I know. He even forgave me for egging his store.
Missy: You went egging without me?
Mary: Georgie Cooper!
Georgie: Dale already forgave me, and God has to. You can't get mad.
Missy: Ha. Burn.

Georgie: I think Dad would love that you're into stuff like this.
Mary: I'm sure he would. He took me to see Mad Max twice.
Georgie: Really?
Mary: Actually... the second time, we couldn't find a sitter, so we brought you along.
Georgie: How old was I?
Mary: I don't know... four?
Georgie: No wonder I'm so cool.
Georgie: So, why you hiding it?
Mary: Well, 'cause I'm supposed to be a good Christian. Clearly this is something I need to work on.
Georgie: Well, before you fix it, you've got to watch Die Hard 2. Bruce Willis stabs a guy in the head with an icicle.

Sheldon: I've never operated a fork with my left hand before. I hope this goes well.
Georgie: When my buddy Mikey got the cast off his leg, you would not believe how skinny and smelly it was. Like beef jerky with toes.

George: George, your mother works for the church. This doesn't look good.
Georgie: I don't know, looks pretty good to me.
George: [sighs] Please, listen to me.
Georgie: Come on. If I drive Sheldon to college, he can sleep back there.
George: So, you saw that couch, and the first thought you had was, "My brother can sleep on that"?
Georgie: Not my first thought.

Georgie: Well?
Jana: It's very... colorful.
Georgie: Not just colorful. Patriotic.
Jana: It's also a little gross.
Georgie: It just needs a little shampoo. But check out the best part. [pulls out bed] Want to try it out?
Jana: In front of your parents' house?
Georgie: That's what's so great. We can drive it anywhere. Empty field, abandoned parking lot. Wherever love takes us.
Jana: [sniffs] What is that smell?
Georgie: There was a mouse in the mini fridge.
Jana: Ew!
Georgie: Did you hear me? There's a mini fridge!

Mary: Brought you some food. Don't tell your father.
Georgie: Thanks. Want to come in? It smells less disgusting now.
Mary: I'm... really good here. Georgie, um, this is a... nice van, but why don't you think about selling it so you can come back inside?
Georgie: No. I'm not letting him win this one.
Mary: [sighs] You know you can't live in here.
Georgie: Why not?
Mary: It's hot out.
Georgie: The windows roll down.
Mary: How are you gonna take a shower?
Georgie: It's supposed to rain this weekend.
Mary: What about a bathroom?
Georgie: See that bucket?
Mary: Good night.

Georgie: Hey.
Dale: [yelps] I'm on medication, you know. Wh-What are you doing in there?
Georgie: Just washed up in your sink. Don't want to offend the customers.
Dale: Why?
Georgie: My dad's mad 'cause I bought a van, and he's not letting me use the house.
Dale: Oh. So that's your old Chevy parked out front?
Georgie: Pretty sweet, right?
Dale: You have a clean title on it?
Georgie: Pretty much. I think it's registered in Mexico.
Dale: Well, that's something.
Georgie: But it's got a bed and a mini fridge.
Dale: Wow. Sweet.
Georgie: I'm gonna hang some twinkle lights and maybe get a lava lamp.

Georgie: I got it.
Jana: Anybody see you?
Georgie: No. And I didn't recognize the guy behind the counter, but I used an Italian accent just in case.
Jana: Please tell me you're joking.
Georgie: [Italian accent] Oh, I'm-a no joking.
Jana: Oh, God.
Georgie: Here. Do it.
Jana: I can't do it here. I have to pee on it.
Georgie: Okay, fine. Although we've done crazier stuff in this truck.

[fantasy:]
Jana: I'm pregnant. You sure I'm not too heavy?
Georgie: No, I got it. I guess it's time to do what people do on their wedding night.
Jana: Georgie, we're gonna be parents. We don't do that anymore.
Georgie: Oh, right.
Jana: Besides, my water just broke all over your bed.
Georgie: Dadgum it.

[fantasy:]
Jana: Stop having fun, and help me take care of these babies.
Georgie: But I just got home from my day job. And I only have ten minutes till my night job.
Jana: That's ten minutes you could be helping. Now go change whichever this one is.

[fantasy:]
Mary: Georgie, there's a band called Guns N' Roses on the phone.
Georgie: Really?
Mary: Yeah. The guitarist hurt his hand, and they want you to fill in.
Georgie: [sighs] Tell them I can't. I'm a dad now.
Mary: Okay.

Georgie: So, what do you want to do?
Jana: Probably something with our clothes on.
Georgie: No kidding. That was scary.
Jana: Terrifying.
Georgie: I was afraid I was gonna have to marry you.
Jana: Afraid?
Georgie: Shaking in my boots.
Jana: And what, exactly, would be so terrible about marrying me?
Georgie: I didn't say terrible. You can be afraid of things that are great.
Jana: Like what?
Georgie: Uh... Oh, roller coasters.
Jana: You're an idiot.
Georgie: Roller coasters is a good answer. I didn't say sharks, which is what I thought of first.
Jana: You're making it worse.
Georgie: How is I worse? I didn't say it. Roller coasters is a good answer.

Georgie: Can I take your truck tomorrow?
George: Well, I think you're riding with me.
Mary: Sorry, I'm taking Missy to school, and Meemaw's taking Sheldon.
Georgie: Well, can I at least drive?
George: Sure.
Georgie: While you hide in the back under a tarp?
George: [to Mary] Stop praying for him and focus on the other two.

Mary: Did you show your sister Footloose?
Georgie: Did it work?
Mary: No!
Georgie: Mm. Then no.
Mary: Oh!