George: George, your mother works for the church. This doesn't look good.
Georgie: I don't know, looks pretty good to me.
George: [sighs] Please, listen to me.
Georgie: Come on. If I drive Sheldon to college, he can sleep back there.
George: So, you saw that couch, and the first thought you had was, "My brother can sleep on that"?
Georgie: Not my first thought.

Georgie: What are you doing?
George: Separating the whites from the colors.
Georgie: Whoa, that's racist.

Georgie: So, Vietnam, like in Rambo.
Tam: Yes.
Georgie: That's a cool movie.
Tam: Yes.
Georgie: Are you in it?
Tam: No.

Georgie: Maybe you should go across the street and apologize.
George: I can't do that.
Georgie: Why not?
George: 'Cause if I do, it sets a bad precedent.
Georgie: What's Nixon got to do with it?
George: What?
Georgie: You said "bad president," like Nixon. You know, this guy.

Paige: Look at these suckers trying to compete for a stupid bookmark.
Sheldon: They probably don't even know psalm 100.
Paige: Or what a book is.

Pastor Jeff: Now, for a psalm 100 bookmark, who can name the apostles? [Billy raises his hand] Billy.
Billy Sparks: Sleepy, Grumpy, Doc...
Pastor Jeff: Those are dwarves. Anyone else?

Missy: Why don't you believe in God? [Sheldon raises his hand] Sheldon.
Sheldon: Because science explains the universe without the need of inventing a supernatural being.
Missy: But how do you know for sure He doesn't exist?
Sheldon: Ooh. [raises hand]
Missy: Stop that.
Sheldon: The burden of proof isn't on me. If I said there was an invisible monkey in the room with us, you shouldn't believe me just because you can't prove me wrong.