Georgie: Can I take your truck tomorrow?
George: Well, I think you're riding with me.
Mary: Sorry, I'm taking Missy to school, and Meemaw's taking Sheldon.
Georgie: Well, can I at least drive?
George: Sure.
Georgie: While you hide in the back under a tarp?
George: [to Mary] Stop praying for him and focus on the other two.

Georgie: Maybe you should go across the street and apologize.
George: I can't do that.
Georgie: Why not?
George: 'Cause if I do, it sets a bad precedent.
Georgie: What's Nixon got to do with it?
George: What?
Georgie: You said "bad president," like Nixon. You know, this guy.

Georgie: What are you doing?
George: Separating the whites from the colors.
Georgie: Whoa, that's racist.

Missy: Do you believe in God?
Georgie: Yeah.
Missy: But in the Bible, he does all kinds of mean stuff. If he's good, why would he do that?
Georgie: Maybe he just wants to show he's in charge. Hulk Hogan's nice, but in the ring, he will mess you up.
Missy: That's either really smart or really stupid.
Georgie: That's what I do.
Missy: Do you ever wonder if it's all made-up?
Georgie: Look, this is Texas. We like football. We like God. And beef. Beef's up there, too.
Missy: But how do you know there's a God?
Georgie: See that girl dancing in them shorts? There's a God.

Pastor Jeff: Dear Heavenly Father, as we return to school, we look to your eternal...
Billy Sparks: [stands] I pledge allegiance to the...
Pastor Jeff: Billy, it's not the pledge.

Mary: Hey, Brenda.
Brenda Sparks: She didn't want you to walk her in?
Mary: No. How about Billy?
Brenda Sparks: Oh, I walked him in. Found his homeroom. Explained that "homeroom" is different than his room at home. Still not sure he gets it.
Mary: Tough day.
Brenda Sparks: Yeah.
Mary: You want to get some coffee?
Brenda Sparks: I was thinking vodka, but coffee will do.

Sheldon: Dr. Linkletter.
Dr. Linkletter: Sheldon. How wonderfully early it is to see you. If you've come by for a snack, I picked you up some crackers shaped like fish.
Sheldon: I just wanted to let you know that I don't need you to babysit me. I'm perfectly self-reliant.
Dr. Linkletter: Excellent. I'm not very comfortable around children, even with your level of maturity. How old are you? Six? Seven?
Sheldon: Eleven.
Dr. Linkletter: I see. Then it's good I kept the receipt for this bottle of bubbles shaped like a bear.
Sheldon: I should get going. My philosophy class starts in a few minutes.
Dr. Linkletter: Ah, yes, the great thinkers. Socrates, Plato. Speaking of which, I got you some Play-Doh.