Mary: Bless us, Lord, for the food we are about to receive, and bless the hands that prepared it. And thank you for Georgie getting his job back. Amen.
All: Amen.
George Sr.: That was nice of Dale.
George Jr.: I know. He even forgave me for egging his store.
Missy: You went egging without me?
Mary: Georgie Cooper!
George Jr.: Dale already forgave me, and God has to. You can't get mad.
Missy: Ha. Burn.

George Jr.: What are you doing?
George Sr.: Separating the whites from the colors.
George Jr.: Whoa, that's racist.

George Jr.: I think the saddest part about it is just how sad it is.

George Jr.: So, Vietnam, like in Rambo.
Tam: Yes.
George Jr.: That's a cool movie.
Tam: Yes.
George Jr.: Are you in it?
Tam: No.

Principal Petersen: Our next young speaker needs no introduction, but that didn't stop him from writing one and making me read it. [laughter] "Fun fact." [audience groans, murmurs] I hear you. "The word 'valedictorian' is from the Latin 'valedicere,' meaning 'to say farewell.' It is primarily used in the United States, Canada, the Philippines and Armenia." Maybe that fact's more fun in Armenia. Please welcome your valedictorian, Sheldon Cooper.
Mary: Yay, Shelly!
Sheldon: Hello. I'm not very comfortable speaking in front of crowds. But there's a technique to reduce stage fright by focusing on one person in the audience and delivering your speech just to them. That's what I'll be doing today. If it weren't for this person, I wouldn't be here right now. They've taught me a lot, and it's by their example that I found the courage to move forward into this new and exciting chapter of my life. Missy... ...this is for you. Change can be scary, but I know we're going to be fine... ...because like you said, "It's okay to be scared. We just have to do it anyway." So if any of my fellow graduates are nervous about the future, know that you're not alone. I suggest you all try to be as brave as my twin sister. That's my plan. Missy, I wish I could give you advice about middle school, but I was so smart, I skipped it. If you make it to high school, we'll talk. Thank you. [applause]

Sheldon: Just think. You'll have this table all to yourself.
Tam: Actually, I joined the jazz band. Those guys have their own table in the cafeteria.
Sheldon: Oh.
Tam: They're pretty cool. The drummer's even got a goatee.
Sheldon: Well, I'm glad I knew you before you became a heroin addict.

Adult Sheldon: Later that day, we had a graduation party for me and my sister. I don't normally care for parties, but this one wasn't so bad.
Mary: Who's ready for cake?
Missy: Me!
Dale: Hey, should we say grace?
Mary: Heck, yeah! Let's hold hands.
Meemaw: Oh, cool. Let's say grace.
Adult Sheldon: Dale invited Jesus to the party, and while he wasn't on my guest list, it was okay because it made my mom happy.
Mary: And bless our friends and family...
Adult Sheldon: In fact, it was the best graduation party I had ever been to, until the one we had for my son, Leonard Cooper.
All: Amen.
Missy: Cake!
Adult Sheldon: I wanted his name to be Leonard "Nimoy" Cooper, but Amy wouldn't let me.
Amy: Be happy I let you name him Leonard!
Adult Sheldon: Okay, okay!
Amy: Love you.
Adult Sheldon: Love you, too.