Dr. John Sturgis: You seem quiet. Is everything okay?
Meemaw: Are you not interested in me?
Dr. John Sturgis: Of course I am. I'm very interested.
Meemaw: Then how come when I I invited you to spend the night, I got rejected?
Dr. John Sturgis: I did do that, didn't I?
Meemaw: Good Lord, yes.
Dr. John Sturgis: I can explain.
Meemaw: Please do.
Dr. John Sturgis: I didn't want you to think that I would think that you were the sort of woman who would engage in coitus simply because I cooked you a Sichuan dinner.
Meemaw: It was better before you explained.

Dr. John Sturgis: Now, give me your best price on one of these with a cup holder.

Meemaw: And how I handle Ira is my business!
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, I hope you do it gently. He's very vulnerable these days.
Meemaw: You're friends now?
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, I wouldn't say friends, but I could see, over time, you know, we might-

George Sr.: So, what's up? You comin' to me to ask for Connie's hand in marriage?
Dr. John Sturgis: No. But if that were to come to pass, are you authorized to bless the union?
Meemaw: He was joking.
Dr. John Sturgis: Oh.

Meemaw: Will you keep an eye on 'em?
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, I'll try, but if they start running, you may never see them again.

Dr. John Sturgis: Thank you for agreeing to the early-bird dinner. When I eat too late, the food just sits right here.
Meemaw: Yeah, gettin' old is no party.
Dr. John Sturgis: Oh, I've had this problem since I was ten. When I was in grade school, my nickname was Old Burpy.
Meemaw: Well, I will not be calling you that.
Dr. John Sturgis: You can if you'd like.
Meemaw: I'm good.

Dr. John Sturgis: Are-are you all right?
Meemaw: No, I'm very nervous.
Dr. John Sturgis: That's interesting. Normally, I'm the one who's unsure of himself in a social situation, but tonight, it's you.
Meemaw: Yeah. Frickin' fascinating.

Dr. John Sturgis: Maybe you're too immature.
Meemaw: Gentlemen, please.
Dr. John Sturgis: I'm sorry, but when someone with way less experience accuses me of not knowing what I'm talking about, my hackles are up.

Dr. John Sturgis: Thank you, Bonnie. You see that? I made a joke about it.
Meemaw: Never do it again.
Dr. John Sturgis: Yes, ma'am.

Dr. John Sturgis: Sure!
Meemaw: What the heck? Do you really think you could handle living with a ten-year-old?
Dr. John Sturgis: Oh, he's only biologically ten. In every other way, he's as old as I am.

Dr. John Sturgis: If you like being tucked in, I'm prepared to do it. I practiced on a watermelon.

Dr. John Sturgis: Very well. Now, I'll be in my room if you need me. Here's a glass of water if you get thirsty. And there's fresh chalk on the blackboard in case of any late-night epiphanies.

Sheldon: Wait here. I'm going to go get some ice for your head and I'll fix you a hot beverage.
Dr. John Sturgis: Oh. There's a, there's an Earl Grey tea bag in the sink. I think it still has some oomph in it.

Sheldon: Boy, it's a good thing we did this trial run.
Dr. John Sturgis: No kidding.

Dr. John Sturgis: I may actually have had a concussion.
Meemaw: What are your symptoms?
Dr. John Sturgis: It feels like there's hair on my head.

Dr. John Sturgis: I wanted this night to be special because it's the one-year anniversary of that date.
Meemaw: Is that a thing that people our age celebrate?
Dr. John Sturgis: No idea. I've never been this age before. And I've never dated anyone for a whole year.

Meemaw: And I remember how cute you looked in your little pearl snap shirt with your bolo tie.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, I'd say it wasn't my first rodeo, but it was.
Meemaw: Thank you for a wonderful year.
Dr. John Sturgis: To many more.
Meemaw: To many more.

Meemaw: Are we good?
Dr. John Sturgis: Yes. But if I should pre-decease you I want you to have the ring.
Meemaw: Fine.
Dr. John Sturgis: It'll be in the top right corner of my dresser drawer.
Meemaw: Got it.
Dr. John Sturgis: [CRYING] Under my tube socks.

Dr. John Sturgis: A nickel. That's a silly bet.
Meemaw: It's 50 bucks.
Dr. John Sturgis: A thousand nickels. Less silly.

Dr. John Sturgis: I must say, uh this is a side of you I've never seen before.
Meemaw: You're all right with it, aren't you?
Dr. John Sturgis: Oh, sure. When are you gonna give that man your $50?
Meemaw: Don't worry about it. Hit me.
Dr. John Sturgis: I'm a little worried.