President Hagemeyer: The important thing is, that kid belongs to us. He is our cash cow. Okay. Explain this to me so I sound like I know what I'm talking about when I shake the donor tree.
Dr. Linkletter: Well, young Mr. Cooper has reimagined string theory.
Dr. John Sturgis: And compactified dimensions like nobody's business. [both chuckle]
President Hagemeyer: You don't understand this, do you?
Dr. John Sturgis: No.
Dr. Linkletter: Not really.
Dr. John Sturgis: I mean, we get what he's trying to do.
Dr. Linkletter: Absolutely.
Dr. John Sturgis: No, we don't really understand it.
Dr. Linkletter: Not a bit.

Dr. John Sturgis: Did you know that there's a type of vanilla flavoring derived from the anal glands of the North American beaver?
Meemaw: That seems like a fact you could have shared before we started eating.
Dr. John Sturgis: It isn't used very often. I understand it's difficult to, uh, milk the little sacs.
Meemaw: Cool. Okay, new topic.

Dr. John Sturgis: See, this is why we're great together. You teach me about social etiquette, and I teach you about beaver anuses.
Meemaw: [CHUCKLES] It is magical.
Dr. John Sturgis: Did you know "ani" is also acceptable as the plural of "anus"?
Meemaw: And the magic continues.

Dr. John Sturgis: Hello, my little vicuña.
Meemaw: [chuckles] Well, hello to you, too. And more importantly, what is a vicuña?
Dr. John Sturgis: Only what I feel is the cutest camelid on the planet.
Meemaw: Well, I suppose I could ask you what a camelid is, but you're just gonna say more words that I don't know.

Audrey: I just think you may want to try speaking more properly in front of your daughter.
Georgie: Ain't nothin' wrong with the way I talk. Lotta people talk like me.
Audrey: True, but maybe CeeCee will have better opportunities in life if she's well-spoken.
Georgie: She don't even talk yet.
Audrey: No, she doesn't. [sighs] But she's listening and she's learning, and we don't want her first word to be "dang it."
Georgie: Better that than whatever the snooty version of "dang it" is.
Audrey: It's "darn it."
Georgie: Dang it, I knew that.

Mandy: Yeah, you don't need a book. Let's just start simple. Um, instead of "ain't," try "isn't."
Georgie: That isn't gonna be a problem.
Mandy: There you go. Now, let's work on "wasn't."
Georgie: Wadn't.
Mandy: Wasn't.
Georgie: Wadn't.
Mandy: See, I'm not hearing the "S."
Georgie: That's 'cause it wadn't there.

Georgie: You got to eat them Cheerios, they're good for you. You can tell 'cause there ain't no cartoon on the box. Now, Cocoa Puffs got that bird on 'em, and he's cuckoo for 'em.