Billy Sparks: Hi, Mr. Cooper!
George Sr.: Billy. What are you doing? [turns engine off]
Billy Sparks: I'm mowing the lawn. What are you doing?
George Sr.: Did Georgie put you up to this?
Billy Sparks: Yeah. He's paying me.
George Sr.: That dummy.
Billy Sparks: I'm raising the money to buy a Jet Ski.

Sheldon: I've been working on a theory about the wave-particle duality of light.
Billy Sparks: I have a nightlight that looks like Spider-Man, but I don't turn it on. [Sheldon looks at George]
George Sr.: Go ahead.
Sheldon: Why don't you turn it on?
Billy Sparks: I'm afraid of spiders.
George Sr.: Yeah, seems like a good place to stop.
Billy Sparks: Now what happens?
Sheldon: You go home.
Billy Sparks: Thank you for your hospitality.

George Sr.: Okay, Sheldon, try having a conversation with Billy about science. Let's see. Uh, what do you know about quantum mechanics?
Billy Sparks: My dad's a mechanic. At his shop, he has a calendar with a bikini lady on it.
Sheldon: Dad...
George Sr.: Instead of losing patience, act interested and ask a follow-up question.
Sheldon: Your father's a mechanic. Interesting. You know what else is interesting? Quantum mechanics. That describes the basic particles and forces that make up reality. Let's talk about that.
Billy Sparks: I'm gonna marry that bikini lady.

Billy Sparks: Pastor Jeff, do chickens go to heaven?
Pastor Jeff: Well, the Bible doesn't say much about the souls of animals, but I like to believe that God loves all his creatures. Why?
Billy Sparks: My dad wants to eat Matilda.
Brenda Sparks: It's not as bad as it sounds. She stopped laying eggs, so it's off with her head and into the fryer.
Pastor Jeff: Well, I will pray for her little chicken soul.
Brenda Sparks: [chuckles] Just pray she's juicy.

Sheldon: I'm excited to finally use college-ruled paper and not feel like I'm living a lie.
Billy Sparks: What's college-ruled paper?
Sheldon: The lines are 18% closer together.
Billy Sparks: College sounds hard.
Brenda Sparks: You won't have to worry about that, honey.
Billy Sparks: Okay.

Billy Sparks: This licorice tastes terrible.
Missy: It's plastic. You use it to weave a lanyard.
Billy Sparks: No, it's licorice.

Missy: Makes perfect sense, they're getting divorced.
Sheldon: If they do, I'm staying with Mom.
Missy: That's fine, I'll take Dad.
Sheldon: And if he does die, you'll get the house to yourself.
Billy Sparks: You can live with us.
Brenda Sparks: Nobody's dying, nobody's getting divorced.
Billy Sparks: Except you and Dad.
Brenda Sparks: Just eat your dinner.
Missy: I wonder if our dad met another woman.
Brenda Sparks: [awkward chuckle] Nobody met nobody. You eat your dinner, too.
Billy Sparks: My dad's with another woman. She's nice.
Brenda Sparks: Dinner!
Sheldon: Which would be perfect with little chunks of hot dog in it.
Billy Sparks: Her name is Martha Jean.
Brenda Sparks: Billy!
Billy Sparks: [whispers] She works at a tanning salon.

Billy Sparks: Hey, Sheldon. You look sad.
Sheldon: I am.
Billy Sparks: Want an egg?

Pastor Jeff: Dear Heavenly Father, as we return to school, we look to your eternal...
Billy Sparks: [stands] I pledge allegiance to the...
Pastor Jeff: Billy, it's not the pledge.

Brenda Sparks: I can't believe you told on me to Pastor Jeff.
Mary: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Billy Sparks: [whispering] Hi, neighbor.
Mary: Hi.

Sheldon: Welcome to the Church of Mathology. Today, I'd like to talk about prime numbers, and why they bring us joy.
Billy Sparks: Hallelujah!

Billy Sparks: I've seen this before. They're big now, but they're gonna get small.
Missy: Yeah. It's called Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.
Billy Sparks: [whispers] If you get scared, I'm here.
Missy: Terrific.

Billy Sparks: You like meatloaf?
Missy: Yeah, is that what we're having?
Billy Sparks: No, just making dinner conversation.

Tam: You walk down a hallway and come to a wooden chest. Lord Gray Matter, what do you do?
Sheldon: I poke it with my dagger to see if there are any traps.
Tam: There are no traps. Fire Beak, what do you do? Billy?
Billy Sparks: What?
Tam: You are Fire Beak.
Billy Sparks: Okay.
Tam: So what do you do?
Billy Sparks: I'm Fire Beak.

Pastor Jeff: Yes, Billy?
Billy Sparks: They live on my block.
Pastor Jeff: Terrific.

Sheldon: Ensign Sparks, there appears to be a white object under this chicken.
Billy Sparks: It's called an egg.
Sheldon: Interesting. What is its function on this planet?
Billy Sparks: People eat them and throw them at me on Halloween.

Billy Sparks: What you doing?
Sheldon: Using my tricorder to collect data.
Billy Sparks: What's a tricorder?
Sheldon: It's a multifunctional handheld device used for scanning and analysis.
Billy Sparks: Cool. And what's everything you just said?
Sheldon: Fascinating.

Billy Sparks: I thought you didn't like chickens.
Sheldon: Sheldon doesn't like chickens. Mr. Spock finds them fascinating.
Billy Sparks: Who's Mr. Spock?
Sheldon: I'm Mr. Spock.
Billy Sparks: I'm Billy.

Billy Sparks: Hi, Mrs. Cooper!
Mary: [whispers:] Hi, Billy.
Billy Sparks: Are you playing hide-and-seek?
Mary: Um, yeah. Don't tell anybody. Shh.
Billy Sparks: Bye, Mrs. Cooper!

George Sr.: Hey, Billy.
Billy Sparks: Hello, Missy's dad.
George Sr.: Is your father home?
Billy Sparks: Yes.
George Sr.: Could you get him for me?
Billy Sparks: Happy to. Dad, it's Missy's dad! He's also Sheldon's dad.