Missy: Makes perfect sense, they're getting divorced.
Sheldon: If they do, I'm staying with Mom.
Missy: That's fine, I'll take Dad.
Sheldon: And if he does die, you'll get the house to yourself.
Billy Sparks: You can live with us.
Brenda Sparks: Nobody's dying, nobody's getting divorced.
Billy Sparks: Except you and Dad.
Brenda Sparks: Just eat your dinner.
Missy: I wonder if our dad met another woman.
Brenda Sparks: [awkward chuckle] Nobody met nobody. You eat your dinner, too.
Billy Sparks: My dad's with another woman. She's nice.
Brenda Sparks: Dinner!
Sheldon: Which would be perfect with little chunks of hot dog in it.
Billy Sparks: Her name is Martha Jean.
Brenda Sparks: Billy!
Billy Sparks: [whispers] She works at a tanning salon.

Billy Sparks: Hello.
Herschel Sparks: Hey.
George Sr.: Hey, Billy.
Billy Sparks: Was this fence window always here?
Herschel Sparks: No, son, that's a new fence window.
Billy Sparks: Anybody else getting dizzy?

Sheldon: How do we love our neighbors when our moms hate each other?
Billy Sparks: Who does your mom hate?
Sheldon: Your mom.
Billy Sparks: Hey, my mom hates your mom. Small world.

Billy Sparks: Who's Melissa?
Missy: Me.
Billy Sparks: Then who's Missy?
Missy: "Missy" is short for "Melissa." Like how "Billy" is short for "William."
Billy Sparks: I don't understand.
Missy: You know how your real name is William?
Billy Sparks: I'm Billy.
Sheldon: No, we call you Billy, but your real name is William.
Billy Sparks: But my underpants say "Billy" in them. Mom, is my name William?
Brenda Sparks: [sighs] Yeah.
Billy Sparks: Then whose underpants am I wearing?

George Jr.: Okay, in my defense...
Meemaw: You have no defense. You're an idiot.
George Jr.: That was a big part of my defense.

Mary: Maybe it would be better if you went to your parents with, um, good news first.
Mandy: And what would that be?
Mary: Well... everybody loves a wedding.
George Sr.: Would you stop with that?
Mary: It needs to be discussed.
Mandy: No, it doesn't. I'm having a baby, I don't need to marry another one.
George Jr.: I know I'm young now, but think about it... When you're a dried-up old lady, I'll be your hot trophy husband.
Meemaw: Maybe her dad should put you down.

Billy Sparks: You like meatloaf?
Missy: Yeah, is that what we're having?
Billy Sparks: No, just making dinner conversation.