Sheldon: Should I go left or right?
Meemaw: Why don't you try going in that cave?
Sheldon: Why would I do that? It's probably dangerous.
Meemaw: Sheldon, they wouldn't have put the cave there if they didn't want you to go in it.
Sheldon: Seems unnecessarily reckless, but okay. "Dark and dangerous." I told you.
Meemaw: Just keep going.
Sheldon: The box was right, my heart is pounding.

Meemaw: Why don't you let the old person give it a shot?
Sheldon: Would you like me to give you a tutorial first?
Meemaw: Give it to me. I'll figure it out.
Sheldon: We are such different people, Meemaw.

Sheldon: I also found us extra life points inside a demon.
Mary: There are demons in this game?
Sheldon: Don't worry, Meemaw cut his head off.

Sheldon: Are we sleeping there? Do I need to bring pajamas?
George Jr.: Just sleep in your underwear.
Sheldon: In my underwear? I hardly think so.

Missy: Did you guys know Paige speaks three languages?
Meemaw: Really? That's impressive.
Missy: You only speak one.
Sheldon: Two. I'm learning conversational Klingon.

Missy: Hey, Mom, can Paige sleep over this weekend?
Mary: I guess, if her mother says okay.
Sheldon: Wait, where is she going to sleep?
Missy: In your bed. You can sleep on the couch.
Sheldon: Absolutely not. I've already changed my brand of loafers, I am not changing my sleeping quarters.

George Sr.: What, the girls leave you out of their little picnic?
Mary: Oh, they invited him.
George Sr.: Well, then why ain't you out there?
Sheldon: Eat outdoors? Do I look like a hippie to you?

George Jr.: I thought Paige was your friend.
Sheldon: She's more of a colleague.
George Jr.: Oh.
Sheldon: Although for reasons unknown, she's currently behaving like a ten-year-old.
Mary: Maybe that's because she is a ten-year-old.
Sheldon: Still no excuse.

Sheldon: Georgie? Georgie?
George Jr.: What?
Sheldon: Would you like some salted mixed nuts?
George Jr.: Nah.
Sheldon: Look, they're the fancy kind.
George Jr.: That's a trick can.
Sheldon: No, it's not. Listen. When you shake it, there's a rattling sound, as if nuts are inside.
George Jr.: Fine. [George opens the can]
Sheldon: [SCREAMS] Bazinga.

Adult Sheldon: Throughout my high school career, Nurse Nora and I had been through quite a few close calls.
Nora: This is just a blister.
Sheldon: Are you sure?
Nora: Sheldon, I promise you don't have leprosy.

Mary: How you feelin', baby?
Sheldon: Remember the tuna sandwich I had at the bus station?
Mary: Yeah?
Sheldon: Worse than that.

George Sr.: Okay. I got your pillow and your blanket.
Mary: Shelly, what do you say?
Sheldon: Why does it smell like Missy?

Ricky: What are you gonna do when you get home?
Sheldon: Enjoy a bathroom I can relax in. Although I do like that there's a big red emergency button in there.

Mary: Sheldon, I just got off the phone with that nurse from the hospital. Your little roommate's gonna be just fine.
Sheldon: Oh, good. That's a relief.
Mary: Would you like to go visit him?
Sheldon: No. Why?

Sheldon: Hello. I'd like to speak to Arthur Jeffries. He plays Professor Proton. But you probably know that, since you answer the phone at the station that makes the show, you lucky duck.
Then I'd like to leave him another message. Please tell him Sheldon Cooper called again and that I've successfully obtained the radioactive material that I'm looking for. Yes, americium-241. I have lots of it. I live at 5501 Grant Avenue, Medford, Texas. If you're sending me an autographed picture, I already have one. Ooh, how about one of his bow ties?

Sheldon: She wasn't wrong. Studies do support that your sense of taste changes over time.
Tam: So the bread's the same and you're different?
Sheldon: Apparently so. Nope, it's the bread.

Sheldon: I have something important that I'd like to say. These last few days, I've been giving the new Happy Hearth bread another chance, and I've decided it's not so bad. Also, it toasts well. So, I'm going to say that's a sign of personal growth on my part. In fact, let's call it maturity. Still not talking to me, huh? Well I'll check back in tomorrow.

George Sr.: What's up?
Principal Petersen: We got the PSAT results back, and Sheldon got a perfect score.
Sheldon: Neat.
George Sr.: Thanks, Tom. I'll be sure to put that up on the fridge.
Principal Petersen: No, you don't understand. Sheldon's the only kid in the school to ever do this. At his age, maybe in the whole country.
Sheldon: It was fun. I enjoyed it.

Sheldon: As smart as I am, I tried to put out a fire with oxygen and paper.

George Jr.: I also hung a cross over the bed for you. It's just Popsicle sticks and glitter. I glued it together in Sunday school when I was a kid. [Veronica starts crying] Is-is it too much? I can take it down.
Veronica: [SNIFFLES] No, it's it's really sweet.
Sheldon: Why are you crying? Did Georgie bring up your unfortunate home life?
Veronica: Uh, no.
Sheldon: Good. My mom said not to, so that you would be comfortable.
Veronica: Thank you.
Sheldon: [staring] Are you comfortable?