George Jr.: I also hung a cross over the bed for you. It's just Popsicle sticks and glitter. I glued it together in Sunday school when I was a kid. [Veronica starts crying] Is-is it too much? I can take it down.
Veronica: [SNIFFLES] No, it's it's really sweet.
Sheldon: Why are you crying? Did Georgie bring up your unfortunate home life?
Veronica: Uh, no.
Sheldon: Good. My mom said not to, so that you would be comfortable.
Veronica: Thank you.
Sheldon: [staring] Are you comfortable?

Sheldon: [choking] There's lemon in this water.

Adult Sheldon: Since I no longer had a college class with Dr. Sturgis to stoke my intellectual fire, I needed to find someone else who was up to the task of being my mentor. A great mind. A once-in-a-generation thinker. Fortunately, my schedule was wide open.
Sheldon: School's in session.

Meemaw: There are certain grown-up dynamics taking place here that you, you might not be aware of.
Sheldon: Well, I like quantum-chromodynamics and thermodynamics; perhaps I'll like grown-up dynamics. Tell me.
Meemaw: I'm just saying that Dr. Linkletter might be paying special attention to you so he can become better friends with me.
Sheldon: Why?
Meemaw: You're just gonna have to trust me on this one.
Sheldon: Are you saying he doesn't really want me at this lecture?
Meemaw: No, I'm just saying he really wants me at this lecture.
Sheldon: But that's illogical. He knows you're in a relationship with Dr. Sturgis.
Meemaw: And now we're back to it's complicated, so drop it.
Sheldon: I'll try, but dropping things is not where I shine.

Dr. John Sturgis: It's so good to see you.
Sheldon: I don't normally do this, but put her there.
Dr. John Sturgis: No mitten. I'm honored.

Sheldon: Missy said that Meemaw is upset at Dr. Sturgis.
Mary: Don't worry, she'll get over it.
Sheldon: The question is will she get over it by Friday at 4:00 p.m.? That's when we leave for my class.
Mary: I don't know, Shelly.
Sheldon: I suppose she could drop me off outside. Where are we on me walking through parking lots alone these days?
Mary: How about this? Um, until she's up to it, I'll take you.
Sheldon: Thanks. The parking lot still gives me the willies.

Sheldon: You should probably settle on a specific date because when I want to go to RadioShack and my dad says, "Maybe another time," we never end up going.
Meemaw: Thank you so much, Sheldon. I think we got this.

Sheldon: Stay back!
Meemaw: Calm down. We're taking her home.
Missy: To be murdered.
Sheldon: Okay, have fun.

George Sr.: Who the hell is this?
Sheldon: This is Nathan. He's been to four Comic-Cons.

Meemaw: Beam your ass out of here.
Nathan: Yes, ma'am. One to beam up. Energize.
[Star Trek: The Next Generation theme plays]
Adult Sheldon: Okay, that last part didn't happen, but, boy, would that have been neat.
Sheldon: That was so neat.
Nathan: Forgot my tape. [music stops, tape ejects] Energize.
Sheldon: I miss him already.

Missy: How about a movie?
Sheldon: How about the planetarium? That's like a movie, where you can see real stars instead of, I don't know, Gene Kelly?
Missy: We're never gonna agree. Let's just do rock, paper, scissors.
Sheldon: No. Anecdotal evidence suggests that players familiar with each other will tie 75% of the time due to the limited number of outcomes.
Missy: Well, what if we added a few more choices? Like, rock, paper, scissors, candy, pony.
Sheldon: Now you're just being silly.

Mary: Hey. What are you doing with him? I thought you were in your room.
Sheldon: Oh, don't worry. I was.
George Sr.: I need to talk to your mother. Go back to your room.
Sheldon: All right.
Mary: And this time, stay there.
Sheldon: Aw.

Sheldon: Now you don't want me to go to college either?
George Sr.: I didn't say that. I'm just saying, given how young you are, we need to be realistic.
Sheldon: I'll have you know I recently took care of my own boo-boo.
George Sr.: And as grown-up as that makes you sound, I don't think it's gonna convince your mother.
Sheldon: What will convince her?
George Sr.: I don't know, but I'm sure between the two of us, we can come up with a plan.
Sheldon: Well, you managed to get her to marry you, so you do have a track record.

[As Sheldon finally retrieves the errant piece of hot dog meat from under the refrigerator:]
Sheldon: Whew. That was driving me crazy. Thank you for getting me into college.

Adult Sheldon: With no access to controlled substances, I was left with only one option.
Sheldon: Missy, will you teach me to ride a bike tomorrow?
Missy: Why not Mom?
Sheldon: Working.
Missy: Meemaw?
Sheldon: Old.
Missy: Dad?
Sheldon: Fat.
Missy: Okay. [Sheldon exits] I'm such a good person.

Sheldon: Why would Paige get competitive over Bible trivia? She doesn't care about that.
Mary: Maybe she just wanted that bookmark.
Missy: Yeah. I wanted this "what would Jesus do?" slap bracelet. Ow.
Sheldon: I liked it better when she and I were making fun of everything.
Mary: You might have more fun if you participated, too.
Sheldon: Oh, I'll participate.
Mary: Great.
Sheldon: If Paige wants to go head-to-head on Bible trivia, she picked the wrong fact-filled atheist to mess with.
Mary: [quietly] Great.

Sheldon: For your information, not only am I going to show you up today, I've also prepared some biblical trash talk.
Paige: What is he talking about?
Missy: He stayed up all night studying.
Paige: Why?
Sheldon: To beat you at Bible trivia. Just like the prophets of mercy beat the priestly cult and its emphasis on ritual purity.
Paige: Was that the trash talk?
Sheldon: [scoffs] Was Zacchaeus a tax collector? Was Nicodemus a Pharisee?
Missy: Just hit him.

Dr. Linkletter: [answers phone] Hello?
Sheldon: Can I be your lab assistant?
Dr. Linkletter: What time is it?
Sheldon: That's not a no.
Dr. Linkletter: If I say yes, will you please stop hounding me?
Sheldon: Absolutely.
Dr. Linkletter: Fine. You win. Good night.
Sheldon: Just out of scientific curiosity, were you persuaded by the disorienting nature of this late-night phone call or by the cumulative weight of my relentlessness?
Dr. Linkletter: That one. [hangs up]
Adult Sheldon: I learned an important lesson that night. When you want something, relentlessly annoying is your road to victory.

Sheldon: Although I do think Missy should stay in school.
Missy: You think everyone should stay in school.
Sheldon: Well, I understand why someone like Georgie would rather work, but if you drop out, I think you would regret it.
Missy: Why?
Sheldon: Historically, women in the workplace have been undervalued. You don't want to make it easier for people to do that to you.
Mary: He's right.

Sheldon: I can't remember what the zeroes of the Bessel function are.
Dr. Linkletter: You didn't memorize them?
Sheldon: Of course I did... October 7th, 1988. I had just had a bowl of Teddy Grahams.
Dr. Linkletter: Then what's the problem?
Sheldon: I'm blanking, but I'll get it.
Dr. Linkletter: Sorry, son, class is over.
Sheldon: No, I can do this.
Dr. Linkletter: It's just one question. You'll still pass.
Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper doesn't "just pass."
Dr. Linkletter: I have an idea. Let me see the test. [Sheldon hands him the test] Thank you.
Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper isn't always that gullible.
Dr. Linkletter: He was today.