George: What are you doing here?
Meemaw: I ran out of beer at home, didn't feel like driving to the store.
George: Oh, so you just waltz in and help yourself?
Meemaw: 'Bout sums it up. [hands George a beer]
George: I'm changing the locks.
Meemaw: [laughs] Cheers.

Georgie: Were you mad at Mom for getting pregnant?
Meemaw: Oh, yeah.
Georgie: Did you stop talking to her?
Meemaw: Hell no, I wanted her to hear how pissed off I was. But all that being mad at her just was a waste of time.
Georgie: What made you come around?
Meemaw: I guess you showing up.
Georgie: I do have a natural charm, don't I?
Meemaw: You did, and then you learned to talk.

Meemaw: So you're saying we should just give in, after what that holy-rolling Muppet has done to your whole family?
Mandy: He does look like a Muppet.

Meemaw: [on the phone] I'd like to order five more copies of Basic Instinct and a couple more of Fatal Attraction. Is there anything else?
Mandy: Ooh, uh, get a Last Temptation of Christ. That'll really piss people off.
Meemaw: And a copy of The Last Temptation of Christ to really piss people off. Thank you.

Meemaw: But then again, Georgie was a big'un.
Mandy: How big?
Mary: Almost ten pounds.
Mandy: Ten pounds?
Meemaw: She walked like a cowboy for months. [laughs]

Meemaw: What am I watching?
Dale: It's called Dinosaurs. It's like The Flintstones, only with dinosaurs. Come on.
Meemaw: Well, that's dumb.
Dale: Well, they talk, he's got a job. It's fun.
Meemaw: Wasn't The Flintstones just The Honeymooners?
Dale: Huh, I never even thought about that. Well, see, you just kind of ruined it for me.
Meemaw: Good.

Meemaw: Please tell me you brought some movies home.
Mandy: Tootsie.
Meemaw: Ooh, thank you.
Dale: Really? We're supposed to believe Dustin Hoffman is a woman?
Meemaw: But we believe talking dinosaurs?

Meemaw: My advice, take all the drugs they offer.
Mandy: I plan to.

Mary: It's okay, sweetie, Nana's here.
Georgie: Nana? Who picked that?
Mary: I did.
Georgie: Why ain't you another meemaw?
Meemaw: 'Cause I'm the only meemaw.

Meemaw: All righty, I got everything we need to make chicken-fried steak and mac and cheese and tater tots.
Mandy: Healthy.
Meemaw: You said make his favorite meal. What'd you think that was gonna be, a carrot?

Meemaw: Hey. I hear you and Mandy are going away for the weekend.
Georgie: Yeah, if you don't mind watching the baby.
Meemaw: I don't mind.
Georgie: You sure? You ain't ever watched her overnight before.
Meemaw: It's fine, we both wake up a lot to pee.

Meemaw: And listen, if you can't think of anything complimentary to say, just make stuff up. Nobody's gonna call you on it.
Mary: Sheldon will.
Meemaw: Yeah. Sheldon will. [laughs]

Meemaw: Hey. Funny meeting you here. Brought George a Lone Star.
Mary: That's nice, but they don't drink in heaven.
Meemaw: Oh. Then let's not let that go to waste. [opens beer]

Meemaw: Hang on there a minute, moon pie. I want to teach you somethin'. Look at your cards, and then look in the mirror.
Sheldon: Hey, I'm smiling.
Meemaw: Uh-huh. And what does that tell me about your cards?
Sheldon: That I like them?
Meemaw: Attaboy. Now look at my face. Tell me what you see.
Sheldon: That you're old.
Meemaw: It's a good thing I love you.

Missy: Is Daddy gonna be okay?
Meemaw: Oh, yeah. Your Pop-Pop used to have little chest pains all the time.
Sheldon: Didn't he die of a heart attack?
Meemaw: Well, for insurance purposes, yes.