George Sr.: I guess we don't even know your last name.
Mandy: McAllister.
George Sr.: Scottish, right?
Mandy: Right.
George Sr.: 'Cause if it was Irish, it'd be O'McAllister.

Mary: Hey, what did Wayne say when you told him?
George Sr.: He loves babies, so he was all, "It's a blessing." Blah, blah, blah.
Mary: Well, he's not wrong.
George Sr.: Why am I friends with him? You should be.

George Sr.: How'd Pastor Jeff take it?
Mary: I didn't tell him. I told Pastor Rob.
George Sr.: Of course.
Mary: What's that mean?
George Sr.: Nothing.
Mary: What?
George Sr.: Just seems like you talk to Pastor Rob a lot.
Mary: [scoffs; chuckles] Well, we work together. You talk to Wayne.
George Sr.: Sure. And what did Pastor Rob say?
Mary: Actually, it was helpful. He pointed out that I was putting people before God and that I shouldn't worry about what the congregation thinks.
George Sr.: So, exactly what I said.
Mary: All you said was, "Who cares?"
George Sr.: Next time, I'll stick God in there so you pay attention.

Pastor Jeff: Pastor Rob should be here any minute.
George Sr.: Maybe if he was in the classroom when he was supposed to be, none of this would've happened.
Mary: You can't blame him for Missy punching someone.
George Sr.: If he was there to shut that kid up, Missy wouldn't have had to.
Pastor Jeff: Sunday school is no place for violence. The boy's parents are very upset.
George Sr.: Yeah, well so am I.

George Sr.: Hey, don't you move. What are you watching?
Missy: MTV.
George Sr.: Watch MTV.
Mary: George.
George Sr.: I'm not punishing her for doing the right thing.
Mary: Violence is never the right thing.
George Sr.: I'm sorry, are we in California?
Mary: Ugh!
[As Mary leaves, George turns to look at the music video playing on the TV]
George Sr.: Turn that off.

Mary: Oh, Pastor Rob dropped by.
George Sr.: Why?
Mary: Just seeing how we were doing.
George Sr.: You mean to see how you were doing.
Mary: [sighs] What's that supposed to mean?
George Sr.: Come on, Mary, you... you're not fooling anybody.
Mary: We were just praying.
[Missy is listening to the conversation from the hallway]
George Sr.: Is that what we're calling it?
Mary: Yes, because that's what it was.
George Sr.: All right. I've had enough of this.
Mary: Where are you going? I'm making dinner. [phone ringing]
George Sr.: Yeah, well, maybe Pastor Rob'll eat it. [exits]
Mary: George!

Mary: What are you doing home?
George Sr.: I quit my job.
Mary: What? Why?
George Sr.: The school offered it to Wayne. I wasn't gonna sit around waiting to get fired.
Mary: Oh. You doing okay?
George Sr.: No, Mary, not really. We're standing here without jobs in a house we're not done paying for.
Mary: Well, you're still working at Ballard's, right?
George Sr.: That ain't gonna cover the mortgage.
Mary: We've been through tough spots before. We'll figure it out and... I know you don't want to hear it, but I've been praying on this...
George Sr.: You're right. I don't want to hear it.

George Sr.: So... how's it going with this whole no church thing?
Mary: It's a little weird, but I'm figuring it out.
George Sr.: Think you might go back?
Mary: I don't know yet.
George Sr.: Maybe find a different church?
Mary: I don't know, George.
George Sr.: I'm gonna get a beer. You, uh, care to join me like the good ol' days?
Mary: Just 'cause I'm not going to church doesn't mean I'm suddenly a drinker.
George Sr.: Okay. Well, then I guess me and my friends will say goodnight.

George Sr.: Hi.
Brenda Sparks: What are we doing?
George Sr.: What are you doing? What, you hired Mary to work at the bowling alley.
Brenda Sparks: She needed a job. I was being nice.
George Sr.: Well, you don't think it's a little weird?
Brenda Sparks: [scoffs] This right here... It's all weird. [George scoffs] Are you drunk?
George Sr.: Not nearly enough.

George Sr.: Sorry. I didn't get much sleep.
Dale: Oh, you and Mary fighting again?
George Sr.: Oh, no, we're getting along real good.
Dale: Okay.
George Sr.: I mean... real good.
Dale: Yeah. I-I said okay.

George Sr.: Ooh. Eggs and pancakes.
Mary: That's what a lumberjack gets for chopping all that wood.
George Sr.: [laughs] I'll be Paul Bunyan, you can be my babe, the blue fox.
Mary: [laughs] [laughing] George.

Mary: I have a wild and crazy idea.
George Sr.: Ooh, I like where this is headed.
Mary: Let's make a baby.
George Sr.: You're kidding, right?
Mary: I don't know. It might be fun to start over.
George Sr.: Fun? What house you been living in?
Mary: I'm serious. We've been getting along so great, and I have all this extra time on my hands. Uh, let's take advantage.
George Sr.: Your son's about to have a baby. You can take care of that one.
Mary: No, my mother called dibs.
George Sr.: Your mother's a million years old. You think she's gonna be changing diapers in the middle of the night? [Mary scoffs] I'll tell you what your problem is. You got kicked out of your church, your-your kids are grown up, you're feeling sorry for yourself, and, yeah, you think a baby'll solve the problem. [Mary is silent] Well? Say something.
Mary: You make me so mad. [walks off]
George Sr.: Where you going? We can still do it mad.

Coach Wilkins: She's cheating on me.
George Sr.: You sure? [Wayne nods] Oh, man. I'm sorry, that's terrible.
Coach Wilkins: With my best friend.
George Sr.: That's even more terrible.
Coach Wilkins: She was my world.
Principal Petersen: Well there's no reason to throw in the towel. I mean, you can still get her back.
Coach Wilkins: She's having his baby.
George Sr.: Well... Say something.
Principal Petersen: What do you say to that?
George Sr.: You really never suspected anything?
Principal Petersen: That's what you say?
George Sr.: You had nothing. Wayne, buddy, uh... Uh... No, I-I know it seems bad now, which it is. Which is why it seems that way.
Principal Petersen: Oh, my God.

Principal Petersen: I'm begging you, George. You know what a big deal this game is.
George Sr.: Don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do. Okay.
Principal Petersen: Thank you. I owe you one.
George Sr.: I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing it for the kids on that team.
Mary: What about Wayne?
George Sr.: What about him? [off Mary's look] And Wayne!

George Sr.: I had Georgie go get your car from the motel.
Coach Wilkins: Thanks.
George Sr.: Trust me, going back to work is just what you need. [Coach Wilkins nods] One thing you got to remember, this story ain't over. We don't know how it's gonna end. The only person that can decide that is you. You are the hero of your story. You take the action. You call the shots. You decide your destiny.
Coach Wilkins: That's the same speech you gave at halftime when we were getting our nuts crushed by Nacogdoches.
George Sr.: And you remember what happened? We came back and won that game.
Coach Wilkins: After their quarterback dislocated his shoulder.
George Sr.: You're not even trying, Wayne. I am, you're not.

George Sr.: Okay, we got your playbook, we got your practice plan, and you, sir, are ready to coach some kick-ass football.
Coach Wilkins: Thanks, George. I really appreciate everything you've done for me. Coming back to work was just what I needed. [phone rings]
George Sr.: Happy to help.
Coach Wilkins: [answers phone] Coach Wilkins.
Darlene: [on the phone] What the hell did you tell Missy Cooper?!
George Sr.: I'll give you some privacy.

Principal Petersen: Feel like doing this again next week?
George Sr.: What are you saying?
Principal Petersen: I'm saying you got your job back. If you want it.
George Sr.: What about Wayne?
Principal Petersen: What about him?
George Sr.: He's got to be part of the deal.
Principal Petersen: Don't you have enough to worry about?
George Sr.: He's my friend. And if I want him out of my house, he needs a job.
Principal Petersen: Your call.

George Sr.: Thanks, Tom.
Principal Petersen: You bet.
[George shakes Petersen's hand and pulls him in for a bear hug, getting his jacket wet and muddy]
Principal Petersen: Hey! What...
George Sr.: That's for firing me.
Principal Petersen: You quit!

Mary: What can we help you with?
Jim: Oh, well, uh, I got some money here, and I was just hoping y'all could give it to Mandy.
Mary: She's just right across the street at my mom's. You could give it to her yourself.
Jim: Oh, no, I couldn't do that and stay married.
George Sr.: Sounds like we got the same wife.
Mary: George.
George Sr.: [laughs] Just trying to lighten the mood, honey. I-I'll make sure she gets it.
Jim: Thank you.
Mary: I'm sure your wife will come around eventually.
Jim: Well, I'm hoping that when she sees the baby, that ice cube in her chest might start to melt.
George Sr.: Yep, same wife. Come on, it's funny.

George Sr.: Mr. Vance, thank you for taking the time to see us.
Leslie: Oh, no problem. You know, I don't ordinarily handle intellectual property contracts, I'm more of a slip-and-fall guy.
Mary: I have seen your face on those park bench ads.
Leslie: [chuckles] Oh, you fall in the park, this is the first thing you see.