George: So, Mandy, what do you do?
Mandy: Right now I'm just waiting tables.
George: Well, people need to eat.
Mandy: Mm-hmm.
George: Mm-hmm. You know what I enjoy? That T-G-I-F Friday. They got a whole menu page, just appetizers.

George: Do I really need to be here for this?
Mary: Yes.
George: Double fudge.

Missy: I'm gonna be an aunt. That's so weird.
Sheldon: Not as weird as Uncle Sheldon.
George: [chuckles] Yeah, well, we're gonna be grandparents.
Mary: And Meemaw's gonna be a great-grandmother.
Missy: That sounds so old.
George: Please tell her that.

Coach Wilkins: Are you okay?
George: Oh, jim-dandy.
Coach Wilkins: Is this one of those times where you say you don't want to talk about it, and then you make me go to the bar, and then you talk about it?
George: No.
Coach Wilkins: All right.
[cut to George and Coach Wilkins at a bar:]
George: I'm gonna tell you something.
Coach Wilkins: Lay it on me.
George: This is serious. You can't tell anyone.
Coach Wilkins: Okay.
George: Georgie got a girl pregnant.
Coach Wilkins: Wow. Oh. Congratulations?
George: On having a dope for a son? Thanks.
Coach Wilkins: Forgive me if I'm mistaken, but weren't you a similar kind of dope with Mary?
George: It's different. Georgie's, like, 11 years younger than this girl.
Coach Wilkins: That is different. [to the bartender] We're gonna need a couple shots over here.

Pastor Jeff: So, shall we get to the business at hand?
Mary: Obviously, we're... mortified by Missy's behavior.
George: Even though it sounds like that punk had it coming.
Pastor Jeff: While his words were out of line, it brings us to the bigger issue, which is... people are talking about Georgie.
George: Bunch of holy rollers with no lives.

Mary: How are we not qualified for anything?
George: Well, there were a couple.
Mary: I'm not gonna be night security guard at the junkyard, George. You can.
George: You know I get sleepy.

Mary: Arrested? What do you mean, arrested?
George: I don't know. Some problem with Customs.
Mary: What were they doing in Mexico?
George: I don't know.
Mary: Why didn't they tell us they were going?
George: How many times I got to say I don't know?

Georgie: Can I ask you something?
George: What?
Georgie: Were you scared when Mom got pregnant with me?
George: I was terrified.
Georgie: Huh.
George: Why? You scared?
Georgie: Yeah.
George: Good. You'd be a fool if you weren't.

Georgie: I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what's expected of me. At least you and Mom got married and were a team.
George: Yeah, you got it rougher than me.
Georgie: Does it ever stop being scary?
George: I got a call from the Mexican border that my son was in jail. What do you think?
Georgie: Fair point. Sorry.

Sheldon: Deep within the Enterprise's control room, Future Worf says, "I willingly sacrifice myself for the good of this mission," then throws himself into the warp core. There's an explosion of tachyons. The Enterprise blasts free of the gigantic field of fungus. Fade out. [toilet flushes] Written by Sheldon Lee Cooper. [George opens the bathroom door] What do you think?
George: If this Worf fella was infected on the shuttles, why would he come back to the Enterprise and put everyone else in danger?
Sheldon: Well...

Brenda Sparks: He's failing math, and they might hold him back.
George: That's rough.
Brenda Sparks: I try helping him, but math was never my strong suit.
George: Yeah, I hear ya. And when you do try to help 'em, they realize how dumb you are.
Brenda Sparks: You think... Sheldon would help Billy?
George: [sighs] I'm not sure helping others is where he shines. Pissing 'em off... He's got that down cold.

George: Never mind. Yeah, I told Brenda teaching wasn't really your thing.
Sheldon: Well, it's not that I can't do it.
George: Don't worry about it. You're good at a lot of things. Teaching just ain't one of 'em.
Sheldon: I know what you're doing. It's reverse psychology.
George: I don't know what you're talking about. [walks out]
Sheldon: It's childish and obvious.
George: [o.s.] So you'll do it?
Sheldon: Yes, I'll do it.

George: Ooh. Eggs and pancakes.
Mary: That's what a lumberjack gets for chopping all that wood.
George: [laughs] I'll be Paul Bunyan, you can be my babe, the blue fox.
Mary: [laughs] [laughing] George.

George: Fine. Wayne, grab your pants. You're coming with me.
Coach Wilkins: I don't want to be around you and your happy family.
George: Happy? Uh, couple days with us and you'll be glad that kid ain't yours. Let's go. Pants.

George: She introduced you to her folks?
Georgie: Mmm, I sort of introduced myself to them, and it didn't go great.
George: Well, your ass ain't full of buckshot, so it could have gone worse.
Georgie: I don't know, it feels pretty bad.
George: Your Pop Pop decked me once.
Georgie: No.
George: Oh, yeah. Got me good. But it all worked out.
Georgie: He end up liking you?
George: He died.