Mary: So, Jim, your daughter is just lovely.
Jim: Oh, thanks. And, uh, your son seems... brave.
George: Brave, dumb, it's a coin toss.

Mary: Hey, you're home. How was golf?
George: Fun. Wayne hit a duck. [Mary doesn't laugh] Yeah, maybe you had to be there.

Mary: Actually... [sighs] without church, Sundays are feeling kind of empty.
George: Aw. Hey, next Sunday we'll do something.
Mary: It's not just Sundays. I had Bible study, prayer group. I had a whole community.
George: So, find a new one. You- You just got to get involved. You know, make some friends.
Mary: You make it sound so easy.
George: Oh, come on. Sheldon has got school friends. How hard could it be?

Georgie: So here's the deal. There was a cute girl flirting with me at the video store, and Mandy saw us.
George: Got it. And now Mandy's mad at you.
Georgie: Actually I'm kind of mad at her.
George: Why?
Georgie: She told me I should ask her out.
George: The cute girl?
Georgie: I mean, I know Mandy and I ain't together, but I thought I was wearing her down.
George: You do have that effect on people.

Missy: Are you happy?
George: He is way too old for you.
Missy: Have you seen you and Mom?
George: Hey, your mother and I were high school sweethearts.
Missy: Yeah, she was in high school. You were, like, 25.
George: People looked older back then.

Mary: Hey. I hate that woman.
George: Your mother? Eh, she ain't gonna live forever.
Mary: Mandy's mom.
George: Oh. Yeah, that one we're stuck with for a while.
Mary: I extended an olive branch to make her feel part of the baby shower, and then she just took over the whole dang thing.
George: All right, I'll run her over with my truck.
Mary: I'm not ready to laugh yet, George.

George: [chuckles] I hope you're a starving artist 'cause I got a brisket on the smoker out there with your name on it.
Jim: Connor, uh, is also, uh, a-a vegetarian.
George: [stammers] No problem. We got beans. That's a vegetable. Right? [chuckles] Come on.

George: So, Connor seems like a good kid.
Jim: Oh, yeah, yeah, he's a good kid. From another planet.
George: Oh, I got one of those. Georgie's little brother.
Jim: Is he a 22-year-old art school graduate with no prospects of ever holding down a real job?
George: [chuckles] Actually, he's a science genius who started college when he was 11.
Jim: Let's just talk about the brisket.

George: So we're on the same page, when she does show up, I'm gonna kill her.
Mary: You're gonna have to beat me to it.
George: Not saying I love her the most, but if anything happened to Missy...
Mary: She is your little girl.
George: Not so little anymore.
Mary: Hmm.
George: And I hate it.

Mary: Well, pretty soon, you're gonna have a granddaughter. Start all over again. [chuckles]
George: You know, I had an idea. I'm gonna put a tracker on her, like they do with dolphins.
Mary: You're making that up.
George: No, it's true. Yeah, wherever she goes... Timbuktu, doesn't matter... We're there.

Missy: I'm home! [enters] Hey.
Mary: Hey to you. How was Heather's?
Missy: Uh, fun. Pizza, movies... The usual. You look tired.
George: I didn't sleep too well.
Missy: Oh. Sorry. Well, I'm gonna go to my room. [exits]
Mary: What happened to killing her?
George: I'll get to it. [door closes] Just so relieved she's okay. [drinks coffee] Okay, I'm good. Missy!
Mary: Wait for me!

George: [laughs] Oh. We forgot to pick you up one time. Cut the drama.
Missy: One time? You've been forgetting me my entire life. Everything is Sheldon, and now Georgie has a baby, and you two are fighting. [scoffs] Might as well be invisible.
Mary: Not today you're not.
[George chuckles and then turns the radio on. It plays "We are Family" by Sister Sledge. George quickly turns the radio back off.]
George: Not an appropriate song for this moment.

Sheldon: You know, there's a more spatially efficient way to do that.
George: It's good enough.
Sheldon: Is that what you tell your football players?
George: I make them run laps. That what you want?
Sheldon: You're funny. I like our weekends together.

Mary: I can't believe she would do this. How does she even know how to drive?
[flashback:]
George: All right, now, take your foot off the brake gently put it on the... [tires screech] [Missy laughs]
[present:]
George: I bet your mother taught her.

George: I'm just saying, I have a good relationship with Missy. Yeah, I taught her how to throw a ball. Taught her how to drive.
Mary: You taught her how to drive?
George: Oh, uh... You know, just the basics in- in a parking lot. Hey, she made it all the way to Louisiana without getting into an accident. I think I did a pretty good job.
Mary: Unbelievable.