Mary: I'm waitin'.
George: For what?
Mary: The "I told you so." 'Cause I coddled Sheldon and apparently ruined his life.
George: Oh. I'm not gonna say that. I mean, you did coddle him and I did tell ya... All right, I told you so.
Mary: Thanks for not sayin' it.

Sheldon: Hold on, should I be trying to beef up my grad school applications?
Dr. John Sturgis: The competition is fierce. It takes a lot to stand out.
Sheldon: You're my advisors, why didn't you advise me of this?
[flashback:]
Dr. John Sturgis: Sheldon, if I could offer you some advice...
Sheldon: No thank you.
[flashback:]
Dr. Linkletter: Sheldon, I have a recommendation for you.
Sheldon: I have one for you. Trim your nose hair.
[present:]
Dr. Linkletter: Do you remember that?
Sheldon: I do. It looked like a spider was living up there.

Sheldon: [on the phone] Yes, is this the Columbia summer science honors program? Excellent. My name is Sheldon Cooper, perhaps you've heard of me. Well, now you have. Anyways, it's recently come to my attention that you could be an important step in my career advancement. So, good news, I'm available. Yes, I understand I've missed the deadline, but I'm sure you can make an exception. [emotional] But I'm Sheldon Cooper.

Sheldon: And apparently Doctors Linkletter and Sturgis were aware that I already should have been focusing on my applications.
Mary: And they didn't say anything to you?
Sheldon: Well, they did, but I don't come off well in that story.

Mary: Shelly, you want some mashed potatoes?
Sheldon: See, there you go again, bringing the mashed potatoes to me when I should be going to the mashed potatoes.
Mary: Fine.
George: What's goin' on?
Sheldon: Years of coddling have made me complacent, and now it may cost me my chance to get into grad school at Caltech.
George: I've been sayin' that since you were born.
Sheldon: And yet you did nothing to stop her?

George: Well, what does he know? He's just a dumb teenager.
Mary: [sighs] I guess it is normal for teenagers to blame their parents for stuff.
George: Sheldon's normal. That's a shocker.
Mary: Great, the one normal thing he does is blame me.
George: [chuckles] Someday his kids are gonna tell him he's ruinin' their lives.
Mary: You think?
George: If he has 'em, they're gonna say it. So probably not.
Adult Sheldon: Joke's on him. I did have kids. And joke's on me. They say it all the time.

Georgie: [to CeeCee] Well, looks like it's just me and you. Let me give you the tour. That's Axl Rose. He's awesome. That's the weight bench. That's where Daddy gets ripped. Yeah. And that's the sink your mom totally peed in once. It's true. [chuckles] I know. It's true.

Sheldon: Well, I need to do something to stand out.
Dr. John Sturgis: I think you're putting too much pressure on this summer program. You can apply next year.
Sheldon: I can't wait a whole nother year. I'll fall even further behind. And then when I'm applying to Columbia, Sam will be using her letter of recommendation to get into Caltech, and then when I apply to Caltech, they'll say, "Oh, you're from East Texas Tech, too. Well, you must know Sam, she's been here a year longer than you and you'll never catch up."
Dr. John Sturgis: I think you need to calm down.
Sheldon: I can't calm down. I have to keep pushing myself or I'll fall farther and farther behind until I'm a... aging professor in a small university with nothing to show for my work.
Dr. Linkletter: Ouch, I think he's talking about you.
Dr. John Sturgis: I think he's talking about us.
Dr. Linkletter: No.

Dr. John Sturgis: Actually, Sheldon, I do have some news. I reached out to a colleague who's doing a summer research program at the University of Heidelberg, and I think I can get you in.
Sheldon: Heidelberg, Germany?
Dr. Linkletter: A summer program 5,000 miles away. Only a fool would say no to that.
Sheldon: Well, that would certainly help my grad school applications.
Dr. John Sturgis: Yes, and they're doing exciting work on superstrings.
Sheldon: Fantastisch. That's German for "fantastic."
Dr. Linkletter: Ich helfe dir beim packen. That's German for "I'll help you pack."

Missy: [to Sheldon] If it helps, I always thought you sucked.
Mary: Missy.

Sheldon: Ooh, Volvo... safe and flashy. Like me.
President Hagemeyer: Sheldon... I haven't had my coffee yet.
Sheldon: I thought you might say that.
President Hagemeyer: Thank you. [drinks]
Sheldon: I'm not a coffee drinker. I hope you like seven sugars.

Adult Sheldon: I never cared for The Game of Life. [kids shouting] Marriage, children, careers, houses. What kind of life is that? In my game, the milestones are... papers published, degrees earned, Nobel Prizes won. And in my version, I am dominating. But you knew that. Ooh, and instead of cars, you'd ride around in a train. [train whistle blows] Honestly, why aren't they making this?

Meemaw: Want some?
Mandy: No, I'm good.
Meemaw: You sure?
Mandy: Yeah, I slept almost four hours last night. I feel like a tiger.
Meemaw: Good for you.
Mandy: Brushed my hair, I brushed my teeth, I may even go outside today.
Chip: [on TV] Wow, an 80% chance of rain.
Mandy: Never mind.

Meemaw: Who is this guy? Where's perky Heather with today's weather?
Mandy: I don't know, I think the sports guy's filling in.
Chip: [on TV] This storm is just gonna make a full-court press. And just run right on past Houston, right on past Lufkin, all the way over to Medford over here...
Meemaw: He ain't even pointin' at Medford.
Chip: That's a drive that Jack Nicklaus would be proud of right there.
Mandy: I used to do that job. You know, it's not as easy as you'd think. [cheerful voice] You got to look forward, but point backward while reading the script. All with sunshine in your voice.
Meemaw: I could actually hear the sunshine in your voice.
Mandy: Thanks. [CeeCee cries over baby monitor] Now back to CeeCee in the nursery with screaming.

Georgie: Well, I'm just sayin' don't you kind of have your hands full with CeeCee?
Mandy: Well, there's a lot of family around to help.
Georgie: Well, I know, but...
Mandy: And I was always gonna go back to work.
Georgie: If it's about money, we're good.
Mandy: You live in a garage.
Georgie: It ain't a garage if there ain't a car in it.
Mandy: Yeah, it is.