Paige: [answers phone] Hello?
Missy: Hey, it's Missy. I stole my dad's truck, I'm running away. Want to come?
Paige: You're running away? Sounds dangerous.
Missy: Oh, um... well, my dad taught me how to drive and...
Paige: I'm messing with you. Come and get me.

Paige: Hey, can I drive?
Missy: Better not. My dad'll be pretty mad if something happens to his truck.
Paige: Like what, if somebody stole it?
Missy: Oh, my God, I'm a criminal.
Paige: Yeah. It's pretty cool, right?
Missy: I'm gonna be in so much trouble.
Paige: Only if you go back.
Missy: I guess you're right.

Sheldon: They saw each other a few weeks ago. Although Paige was quite inebriated.
Mary: What?
Sheldon: It means drunk.
George: We know what it means.
Sheldon: And Paige has run away from home before. If I was going on the lam, that's certainly who I'd contact. "Lam." What a fun word. I'm glad I got the chance to use it. Lam.

Paige: Think your parents are freaking out?
Missy: Probably having a party. And then Sheldon will complain about them having a party, and they'll stop because he gets everything he wants.
Paige: I know. Try being the golden child. Everybody's always expecting big things from you 'cause you're a genius.
Missy: What do you want to do?
Paige: I don't know. Something simple, easy. You know, I heard there's a place in Florida where you can get a job as a mermaid.
Missy: Really?
Paige: Really.
Missy: Don't get mad at me, but you are a genius.
Paige: Just don't tell the other mermaids.

Sheldon: Okay, I figured it out. Based off the pictures she's ripped out of magazines, she's a big fan of actor Luke Perry.
Meemaw: Who is that?
Georgie: He plays Dylan on Beverly Hills, 90210. Your classic bad boy.
George: Your classic bad boy?
Georgie: Yeah, like me.

Adult Sheldon: This marked the beginning of what our family would come to call "Missy's difficult period." Despite my repeated assurances that I could solve the problem with a brain scan and some low-voltage electric shocks, I was never given the opportunity. Such a shame.

Officer Larson: So, what exactly was your plan?
Paige: We were gonna go to Daytona Beach.
Missy: Like on MTV.
Officer Larson: And what were you gonna do for money?
Paige: I don't know. We would have figured something out.
Missy: Yeah, she's an actual genius. [off Paige's look] Sorry.
Officer Larson: Don't get a lot of geniuses back there. Mostly stupid folk.

Sheldon: You know, there's a more spatially efficient way to do that.
George: It's good enough.
Sheldon: Is that what you tell your football players?
George: I make them run laps. That what you want?
Sheldon: You're funny. I like our weekends together.

Mary: Hi, Shelly. How you doing, baby?
Sheldon: I'm all right, although the dishwasher looks like it was loaded by Gustaf Dalén. [off Mary's confusion] He won a Nobel Prize in physics. And was blind.

Officer Rodriguez: When was the last time you saw your daughter?
George: Uh, well... Hard to say. We just... Lot going on.
Sheldon: Well, at 6:15 she made a plate of food and took it to her room, which I said, "is how you attract ants," and she said to mind my own business, and I said it is my business because her bedroom shares a wall with mine...
Officer Rodriguez: 6:15, got it. No one saw her after that?
Sheldon: Well, at 7:22, she had to use the restroom, but she had to wait because my dad was in there. Probably due to all the beers.
George: Thank you.
Sheldon: Happy to help. And then at 7:45, she tried the bathroom again, and luckily, by then my father had...
George: Sheldon, when was the last time you saw her?
Sheldon: Well, at 9:15 I brought her a can of Raid for the ants, and she told me to go to hell, which is rude. And then at 11:06 I tried to communicate with her via walkie-talkie to no response.

Mary: I can't believe she would do this. How does she even know how to drive?
[flashback:]
George: All right, now, take your foot off the brake gently put it on the... [tires screech] [Missy laughs]
[present:]
George: I bet your mother taught her.

Mary: None of her friends have heard from her.
George: The police are looking for my truck, but still no sign.
Georgie: I can't believe that girl. Did she even think about how worried we'd all be?
Meemaw: Wow, you became a dad fast.
Georgie: Well, it just kicks in.

George: So, we weren't supposed to punish her? Kids do stupid stuff, parents yell at them.
Georgie: Yeah, y'all did it to me, I'm gonna do it to my kid.
Meemaw: Calm down, Daddy. I know y'all are worried, but this ain't helping.
George: She snuck out and stole my truck. I mean, how is this our fault?
Mary: Well, maybe she was right. She does get ignored around here.
Georgie: I liked being ignored. Let me get away with all kinds of stuff.
Meemaw: Please stop helping.

Sheldon: Well, based on the time they've been gone and the average speed limit, I've calculated that this circle is the maximum distance they could have traveled.
Georgie: And what are the pins?
Sheldon: I'm glad you asked. To help narrow down the search, I've identified points of interest to teenage girls. The big four... malls, beauty salons, horse stables and roller rinks.
Georgie: And what are the blue pins?
Sheldon: Those are places that I'm interested in that we can swing by after we find them. For example, Peaster, Texas...
Georgie: No one cares.
Sheldon: Peaster, Texas... Birthplace of Robert E. Howard, regarded to be the father of the sword and sorcery subgenre.
Mary: Sheldon, this isn't about you.
Meemaw: But it's a good start. Why don't you go narrow that down even more?
Sheldon: I'll check in Missy's room for clues. If she took her roller skates, this case is closed.

Mary: Is anyone hungry? I can make sandwiches.
Meemaw: No, thanks.
George: Not hungry.
Georgie: I could eat.
George: Then make yourself a sandwich.
Georgie: Maybe you should eat, cranky.