Georgie: I'll tell you another idea I have for keeping my kid in line.
George: Oh, can't wait.
Georgie: I seen this show where they put these electric trackers on these dolphins. And with satellites, they can tell exactly where they are.
George: Dolphins? Go on.
Georgie: I'm gonna stick one of them things in my kid so I always know where she is.
George: So you're gonna keep track of your daughter like she's an animal.
Georgie: Damn straight.
George: Actually a really good idea.

Georgie: What are you doing?
George: Separating the whites from the colors.
Georgie: Whoa, that's racist.

Georgie: Maybe you should go across the street and apologize.
George: I can't do that.
Georgie: Why not?
George: 'Cause if I do, it sets a bad precedent.
Georgie: What's Nixon got to do with it?
George: What?
Georgie: You said "bad president," like Nixon. You know, this guy.

Mary: Wait, Georgie. Where's your bag?
Georgie: Don't need one. Got my toothbrush right here.
Mary: What about clothes? A change of underwear?
Georgie: Got it.
Mary: Georgie, you're gonna be gone for two days.
Georgie: I'll turn them inside out.

Paige: I'm messing with you. It's just, sometimes life sucks, and it's easier not to deal with it.
Sheldon: Could you be more specific?
Paige: Um... well, I have no friends, I don't fit in anywhere, and I dropped out of college but I'm too young to get a job, so killing brain cells makes it easier.
Sheldon: Huh.
Paige: Go ahead, smart guy, fix me. [Sheldon is silent] Mm.
Sheldon: Well, give me a minute.

Sheldon: What are you doing here?
Paige: Would you believe me if I told you I was working on a femtosecond laser in the engineering department?
Sheldon: Yes.
Paige: Then that.

Georgie: You know what else is nice?
George: Hmm?
Georgie: I get to learn from all your parenting mistakes.
George: I'm starting to think letting you live this long was one of 'em.
Georgie: Like that. I'd never say something so awful to my kid. [George scoffs] Thanks, big guy.