Georgie: A bill? Really?
George: Room and board, buddy.
Georgie: $50 a month for food?
George: The way you eat, I should've gone $50 a week.
Georgie: Laundry services?
George: Your poor mother has to touch your underwear.
Georgie: What's the $10 a month "peema" charge?
George: Oh, P-I-M-A, that's a "Pain in My Ass" tax. My way of getting compensated for you taking years off my life.

George: Hey, Hubert. Was Sheldon in class today?
Mr. Givens: Nope. Haven't seen him all week.
George: Weren't you gonna say anything?
Mr. Givens: I didn't want to jinx it.

Paige: You're being weird, and not in the usual way. Guess that's my life now.
Sheldon: What do you mean?
Paige: Everyone is acting weird. My mom is going on dates and my dad is acting like a child. My sister's crying all the time. I just wish that everything could go back to the way it was. I don't think it will.
Adult Sheldon: It turned out I was really good at listening. The trick is to sit there, and when you want to leave, don't.
Paige: I have to live in two separate houses. And my grandma says the meanest things about my dad. I know that everyone is upset that I'm not doing well in school. It's just hard to care. Everything that used to seem important to me just doesn't anymore. So I guess, really, I just feel alone.
Sheldon: That sounds hard.
Paige: Yeah, it is.

Meemaw: Okay, I'm here. What's up?
George: Sheldon won't get out of bed, and I'm gonna be late for work. He's gonna be late for school.
Meemaw: So you want me to get him up and drive him?
George: Yeah.
Meemaw: I like it better when I just come eat your food and leave.

Meemaw: I'll tell you what, we're in the gambling business, why don't we gamble for it?
Georgie: Okay.
Meemaw: Great. The number I'm thinking of in my head... is it odd or even?
Georgie: How dumb do you think I am?
Meemaw: In my defense, you used to be dumber.

Georgie: Okay, in my defense...
Meemaw: You have no defense. You're an idiot.
Georgie: That was a big part of my defense.

Sheldon: All right, I'm given to understand you have a test coming up on negative numbers and fractions.
Billy Sparks: Yeah.
Sheldon: So, what part don't you understand? [Billy is silent] Oh, boy. Let's take it back a step. Where do you stand on addition, subtraction, multiplication and division?
Billy Sparks: I'm against it.
Sheldon: [exhales] [quietly] Oh, boy.

Dr. John Sturgis: Well, sometimes people assume, because of my age, that I'm out of touch, that I, uh, don't know how to use new technologies, that I, uh... Hold on, there's a third one.

Sheldon: What are you doing here?
Paige: Would you believe me if I told you I was working on a femtosecond laser in the engineering department?
Sheldon: Yes.
Paige: Then that.

Georgie: You know what else is nice?
George: Hmm?
Georgie: I get to learn from all your parenting mistakes.
George: I'm starting to think letting you live this long was one of 'em.
Georgie: Like that. I'd never say something so awful to my kid. [George scoffs] Thanks, big guy.

Mary: Shelly, sit down.
Sheldon: Why?
Mary: Just sit. [sighs] I don't know how else to say this other than just to say it. [exhales] We have to go home.
Sheldon: Oh, no, who did Germany invade now?

Adult Sheldon: I always believed my extraordinary life would be chronicled in numerous biographies. I even used to make up my own titles. My favorites were: "From Texas to Success: the Sheldon Cooper Journey", and "Cooper for Kids", a pre-school introduction to quantum gravity in superstrings. The point is, I knew my formative years would be well-documented, which meant I needed to polish up some of my early academic credentials, especially East Texas Tech.

Brenda Sparks: Well, I'm sorry, but you shouldn't be inferring there's something wrong with my Billy.
Meemaw: Darlin', there's no inferring. I've seen the boy sitting in the dirt eating his own belly button lint.

Brenda Sparks: What are you doing out here?
Billy Sparks: Playing with Sheldon.
Brenda Sparks: You're missing your party.
Billy Sparks: But I'm having fun.
Sheldon: Do not be alarmed, our mission is one of peace.
Brenda Sparks: I'm gonna go have a little chat with your mother.
Sheldon: Seems unlikely; my mother's on Vulcan.
Billy Sparks: My mom is on Valium.

Sheldon: Do people know about this?
Meemaw: Sheldon, what's on a person's face is not always what's in their heart.
Sheldon: Well, this changes everything. How do you know who to trust?
Meemaw: You don't. That's what makes life interesting.