Popular Quotes

Quote from the episode An Eagle Feather, a String Bean, and an Eskimo

Meemaw: You sure you're not jealous 'cause your little brother's moving up in the world?
George Jr.: Hey, I got plans of my own.
Meemaw: Do tell.
George Jr.: Soon as I graduate high school, I'm gonna be a professional male model.
Meemaw: That is hilarious.
George Jr.: What? I'm good-lookin'.
Meemaw: No, that you think you'll graduate high school.
Missy: The model thing was funny, too.

Quote from the episode A Solar Calculator, a Game Ball, and a Cheerleader's Bosom

Missy: What are you doing?
Sheldon: Trying to calculate the odds of the Dolphins covering the spread next Sunday.
Missy: I like dolphins. They talk out of that hole in their head.

Quote from the episode Rockets, Communists, and the Dewey Decimal System

Mary: All right, Tam. I decided I was gonna make you a real Texas dinner. Barbecued chicken and brisket.
Tam: Thank you.
Mary: Well, I figured you were probably tired of stuff wiggling around on your plate.

Quote from the episode Rockets, Communists, and the Dewey Decimal System

Mary: Okay, let's say grace. Now, Tam, when I say "Jesus," feel free to say the word "Buddha" in your head.
Tam: I'm actually Catholic.
Mary: Oh! Well, that's too bad.

Quote from the episode A Therapist, a Comic Book, and a Breakfast Sausage

Meemaw: What's all this about choking?
George Jr.: Sheldon almost died this morning.
Meemaw: What?!
George Jr.: Oh, yeah. Dad was shaking him upside down like a ketchup bottle.
Missy: It was great.

Quote from the episode A Therapist, a Comic Book, and a Breakfast Sausage

George Sr.: If we take him to a shrink, it feels like we're admitting something's wrong with him.
Mary: He hasn't had solid food in five weeks.
Meemaw: Well, if there is something wrong with him, it ain't constipation.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Sheldon: Georgie, did you wash your hands before dinner? Or even this week?
George Jr.: None of your business.
Sheldon: Hence the mittens.

Quote from the episode An Eagle Feather, a String Bean, and an Eskimo

Flora: I must tell you, in all the years I've been here, I have never seen such glowing letters of recommendation from a student's teachers.
George Sr.: Well, that's real nice to hear.
Flora: Now, listen to this: "Putting aside his superior intellect, Sheldon is a delight to have in the class.
He's fun-loving, easy to get along with, and always ready to help another student."
Sheldon: That doesn't sound like me at all.
Mary: Sure it does, sweetie.

Quote from the episode Poker, Faith, and Eggs

Pastor Jeff: Because the first day had just begun.
Sheldon: So, before the Big Bang?
Pastor Jeff: There was no Big Bang. There was only the Word.
Sheldon: Was the word "kaboom"?

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

Adult Sheldon: I never did get to see a launch in person, but that was the best trip I ever had. I wish I had told my father while he was alive.