Popular Quotes

Quote from the episode Jiu-jitsu, Bubble Wrap, and Yoo-hoo

Mary: She looks harmless.
Meemaw: She's cute. So she probably gets away with stuff. I'm like that.

Quote from the episode A Brisket, Voodoo, and Cannonball Run

[Missy outside her parents' bedroom eavesdropping on their conversation]
George Sr.: Like I'm some kind of loser, a booby prize.
Missy: Booby prize.
Mary: What was that? [Missy runs away and knocks on Georgie's door, he comes out just as Mary opens her door] Georgie, you mind your own business.
George Jr.: What did I do?

Quote from the episode A Brisket, Voodoo, and Cannonball Run

Sheldon: What's going on?
Missy: Mom and Dad are fighting.
Sheldon: What about?
Missy: Brisket. If they get a divorce, who do you think you'll pick to live with?
Sheldon: Well, Mom, of course.
Missy: I want Mom. Pick again.

Quote from the episode A Brisket, Voodoo, and Cannonball Run

Sheldon: How come Georgie's not going?
Mary: He's grounded for eavesdropping on me and your father.
Missy: Well, I hope he learned his lesson.

Quote from the episode Jiu-jitsu, Bubble Wrap, and Yoo-hoo

Mary: Aw, baby. I'm so sorry you're havin' to deal with this.
Sheldon: It's okay. German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
Mary: And do you feel stronger?
Sheldon: [contemplating] No.

Quote from the episode A Brisket, Voodoo, and Cannonball Run

George Jr.: And I wasn't eavesdropping.
George Sr.: Don't worry about it.
George Jr.: I just don't see why I got grounded.
George Sr.: What are you complaining about? You didn't want to go to church picnic anyway.
George Jr.: I like complaining. I'm good at it.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

Missy: I can't believe Mom and Dad had a fight over beer.
Sheldon: I don't think the fight was about beer. I think there was more subtext.
Missy: You're probably right. Then again, I don't know what subtext is.

Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer

George Jr.: Maybe you should go across the street and apologize.
George Sr.: I can't do that.
George Jr.: Why not?
George Sr.: 'Cause if I do, it sets a bad precedent.
George Jr.: What's Nixon got to do with it?
George Sr.: What?
George Jr.: You said "bad president," like Nixon. You know, this guy.

Quote from the episode A Mother, a Child, and a Blue Man's Backside

Mary: And you are not to bring filth like this into our house again.
Missy: That's not fair. Sheldon reads dirty stuff all the time, and you don't say anything.
Mary: He does not.
Missy: Check out the comic book on his desk.
Mary: What? Oh, my goodness. Oh. Oh, my. Hold on. No. No. Th-This blue man's backside is all over the place.
Missy: On page 112, you get to see his front side.

Quote from the episode A Brisket, Voodoo, and Cannonball Run

Sheldon: You were there. Don't you remember?
Missy: [SIGHS] I got nothing.

Quote from the episode Poker, Faith, and Eggs

Missy: Is Daddy gonna be okay?
Meemaw: Oh, yeah. Your Pop-Pop used to have little chest pains all the time.
Sheldon: Didn't he die of a heart attack?
Meemaw: Well, for insurance purposes, yes.

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

[After Sheldon catches a fish]
Sheldon: Get it away, get it away!
George Sr.: Calm down, it's an itty-bitty thing.
Sheldon: No, I'm an itty-bitty thing!

Quote from the episode A Mother, a Child, and a Blue Man's Backside

Sheldon: I'm ready to go to college.
Mrs. Costello: Okay. Where you thinking?
Sheldon: Somewhere with a good science program, but far enough away to make my mom cry herself to sleep every night that I'm gone.
Mrs. Costello: You're applying to college out of spite?
Sheldon: I see why you're the guidance counselor.

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

[Sheldon, George Sr. and Georgie in a tent]
Sheldon: Moth! Moth!
George Sr.: Sheldon, it's just a butterfly.
Sheldon: How is that any better? Butterfly, butterfly!

Quote from the episode A Mother, a Child, and a Blue Man's Backside

Mrs. Costello: Okay, let's see. What about Caltech in Pasadena?
Sheldon: I can't see myself living in California. I don't trust their carefree lifestyle.

Quote from the episode A High-Pitched Buzz and Training Wheels

Tam: Since when do you drink coffee?
Sheldon: I don't, but this job is killing me. You wouldn't understand.
Tam: You realize I have a job.
Sheldon: At your parents' convenience store? That doesn't count.
Tam: Why not?
Sheldon: You get to sit at a cash register and have the fun of doing math.
Tam: Actually, the cash register tells you how much change to give.
Sheldon: Oh. That's too bad.

Quote from the episode Poker, Faith, and Eggs

George Jr.: [to Sheldon] Shh.
Sheldon: [to Missy] Shh.
Missy: Who do I shush?
George Jr.: Shh!
Sheldon: Shh!

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

Missy: How come I don't get to go?
Mary: 'Cause you, me and Meemaw are gonna have our own fun.
Missy: Could we shoot guns at the gun range?
Mary: Mm, you're too young to go to the gun range.
Missy: Meemaw took me.
Meemaw: We pinky swore. What are you doing?
Missy: Oh, yeah. Don't listen to me. I don't know what I'm saying.

Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair

Mary: Wait, Georgie. Where's your bag?
George Jr.: Don't need one. Got my toothbrush right here.
Mary: What about clothes? A change of underwear?
George Jr.: Got it.
Mary: Georgie, you're gonna be gone for two days.
George Jr.: I'll turn them inside out.

Quote from the episode A Sneeze, Detention, and Sissy Spacek

Sheldon: Why do you keep smiling?
Mary: You need to look at your mask, baby.
Sheldon: Missy!