‘College Dropouts and the Medford Miracle’ Quotes Page 1 of 3
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609. College Dropouts and the Medford Miracle
January 5, 2023Sheldon is told he will need to drop out of college to get private funding for his database. Meanwhile, George is annoyed when Pastor Rob gets credit for the football team's victory.
Quote from Dr. John Sturgis
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, sometimes people assume, because of my age, that I'm out of touch, that I, uh, don't know how to use new technologies, that I, uh... Hold on, there's a third one.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: No one will even listen to my ideas. I'm being discriminated against because I'm too young.
Dr. John Sturgis: I'm sorry to hear that.
Sheldon: I can't wait till I'm your age and people treat me with respect and reverence.
Dr. John Sturgis: Sometimes older people get discriminated against, too.
Sheldon: For what? Getting smaller and cuter year after year? Look at you.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: Good morning. I'm Sheldon Cooper. Thank you for taking the time to hear my proposal. I have some handouts.
Mr. Anderson: I-I'm sorry, who are you?
Sheldon: Oh, I'm... Sheldon Cooper. I'm here to pitch my idea for a grant computer database.
Mr. Anderson: How old are you?
Sheldon: When you hear my presentation, I believe you'll realize my age is irrelevant.
Mr. Anderson: So there's no adult with you?
Sheldon: Well, my mom drove me here, but I told her to wait in the car.
Mr. Anderson: Is this a joke?
Sheldon: I assure you, it's not. When I make jokes, I follow them with a "bazinga" so it's clear. Like this: "Bazinga."
Quote from Dr. John Sturgis
Mr. Lockhart: How soon do you think you could have a prototype?
Sheldon: Well, working around my class schedule and a sensible bedtime, I think within a year.
Mr. Lockhart: If we fund this, we'd expect you to work on it full-time. We don't want someone else beating us to the punch.
Dr. John Sturgis: I suppose I could, uh, take a sabbatical from teaching, but my bedtime is also quite rigid.
Quote from Dr. John Sturgis
Mr. Lockhart: Look, building a company is not a part-time endeavor. We need to know our partners are as committed as we are.
Sheldon: So you want me to drop out of college?
Mr. Lockhart: Of course not. We want to give you money to build a grant database. I guess the question is... what do you want?
Sheldon: Well, I-I want that too, but I should probably ask my mom.
Dr. John Sturgis: My mom is long dead, so... I'm good to go.
Quote from Missy
Missy: And just so you know, Little Mermaid is rated G, and they totally kiss. On the lips.
Quote from Meemaw
Meemaw: Okay. I'm just gonna set this right here between you. And remember, just one hand at a time.
Missy: Thank you, Meemaw.
Meemaw: I'll just be upstairs, unless I'm downstairs. [whispers] I could be anywhere.
Missy: Got it.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: My parents are being completely unreasonable. They won't even let me drop out of school. And even after I told them that Bill Gates and Steve Jobs both dropped out of college.
Dr. John Sturgis: What did they say?
Sheldon: They said, "We don't care what your friends do, you're not dropping out."
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, Sheldon, I know it's disappointing, but, uh, I think they just have your best interests at heart.
Sheldon: They said that, too.
Dr. John Sturgis: And for every Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, there's a Paul Labiscous.
Sheldon: Who's that?
Dr. John Sturgis: Exactly.
Quote from George Sr.
George: Y'all want a prayer, I'll give you a prayer. Circle up. Heavenly Father, bless this team and the hands that catch... the- the ball...
Coach Wilkins: Oh, boy.
George: ...the feet that run and... and kick...
Quote from Mary
Mary: So you're mad he helped you win?
George: He didn't help! I coached that team up, I designed the game plan. But who do they hoist on their shoulders after the final whistle?
Mary: Well... [looks down at George's gut]
George: What?
Mary: Come on.
Quote from Mary
Sheldon: [on the phone] [deeper voice] Hello, Mr. Jennings. Mr. Cooper here. Yes, I know we have an appointment for tomorrow, but I thought, why wait to do this face-to-face when we could do it over the phone? Ha, ha. Well, it's just that there's been so much interest in the grant database, I wanted to make sure that you got a chance to hear it first. Excellent. Well... [dialling tones] I'm on the phone.
Mary: [on the line] Oh. Sorry, baby.
Sheldon: Uh, so you can hang up now.
Mary: Your voice sounds funny, are you coming down with a cold?
Sheldon: No, I'm fine. This is my normal adult voice.
Mary: I guess I just miss that sweet little boy voice.
Sheldon: [squeaky voice] Mom! Wh... I-It doesn't matter how old I am, Mr. Jennings, because I'm really, really smart.
Mary: Oh, is this about his database thingy? He is so excited about that I could barely get him to bed last night.
Sheldon: Mom!
Quote from Pastor Rob
Mr. Givens: As long as I've been teaching here, we have never beaten Pineview.
Pastor Rob: Oh, well, I can't take credit for that. Gotta give it to the big guy.
Mr. Givens: George?
Pastor Rob: Oh, I meant the big guy upstairs, but yeah, him, too.
Quote from Ms. Hutchins
Ms. Hutchins: So when you baptize someone, are you only wearing swim trunks or...?
Pastor Rob: Oh, no, no, fully covered.
Ms. Hutchins: So is it, like, in a pool... or a hot tub or...
Pastor Rob: Um...
Coach Wilkins: I thought you were Mormon.
Ms. Hutchins: Mind your business.
Coach Wilkins: Okay.
Quote from Meemaw
Meemaw: Okay, first rule, you can sit on the same couch, but separate cushions. And no crossing the line.
Missy: Deal.
Meemaw: I'm not done. I will leave you alone, but I will cross through occasionally, unannounced and I better not see any scooting, scurrying or resetting of pillows.
Missy: No problem.
Meemaw: The movie can be PG-13, but the date has to stay G.
Missy: I promise.
Meemaw: All right, then.
Missy: Thank you, you're the best meemaw ever.
Meemaw: Yeah, I know.