Popular Quotes

Quote from the episode Pilot

Sheldon: Mom, when should I be expecting my testicles?
Woman: What is wrong with him?
Mary: Nothing is wrong with him. Now turn around before I knock your lights out.
Sheldon: Hello.

Quote from the episode Pilot

George Sr.: Did you ever wonder why we moved from Galveston to Medford?
Sheldon: I tend to worry about the bigger questions.
George Sr.: Okay. Well, here's why. Your Dad had a real good coaching job and I saw some grown-ups breaking rules.
Sheldon: And you told on them?
George Sr.: You know what happened?
Sheldon: Justice descended on the rule breakers?

Quote from the episode Pilot

Missy: All I know is, he's not in the same grade as me any more. And I'm thrilled.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Sheldon: Good luck with your finger painting.
Missy: You're gonna get your ass kicked in high school.
Mary: (flicks Missy on the head) Hey!

Quote from the episode Pilot

Adult Sheldon: Jane Goodall had to go to Africa to study apes. I just had to go to dinner.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Mary: Oh, Lord, look after my son. Don't let him get stuffed in a gym bag.

Quote from the episode Pilot

George Sr.: You're not gonna make it in this school if you keep ratting people out.
Sheldon: But they were breaking the grooming codes and the dress codes. I saw one boy with a t-shirt that said *leaning in and whispering* "Bite me".
George Sr.: Yeah, that's terrible.
*Sheldon nods*

Quote from the episode Pilot

Adult Sheldon: That was the first time I held my father's hand. I wouldn't touch my brother's hand until seventeen years later, thanks to the invention of Purell.

Quote from the episode Pilot

George Sr.: What the hell were you doing out there?
Mary: George, language.
George Sr.: What language?

Quote from the episode Pilot

Sheldon: Hey, mom, look. That girl's pregnant.
Mary: Congratulations.