Paige: Sheldon?
Sheldon: Paige?
Paige: I'm so happy to see you. Are you happy to see me?
Sheldon: Not immediately.
Paige: That's okay. I'm happy enough for both of us.

Pastor Jeff: Come on up here, Sheldon. Let's hear what you got.
Sheldon: I've spent the last week studying what people believe, and I've come to a conclusion.
Pastor Jeff: And what's that?
Sheldon: I'm starting my own religion.
Pastor Jeff: I'm sorry, what?
Sheldon: I'm calling it Mathology. It's based on a universal binary system.
Pastor Jeff: That's terrific, Sheldon, but this is a Baptist Sunday school.
Sheldon: I know, I'm here to convert everybody. Any takers?
Pastor Jeff: Okay. Let's go have a talk with your mom.
Sheldon: The only sin in Mathology is being stupid.

Georgie: Hey, now that you're treating him like an adult, can I have his allowance?
George: That allowance is for chores, which you already don't do.
Georgie: Come on. We all know I'm your favorite.
Meemaw: You're not even his third favorite.

Adult Sheldon: Ignoring things that irritate me isn't my strong suit. Obsessively fixating on them, now that's what gets me out of bed in the morning.

Paige: You actually believe in the multiverse theory?
Sheldon: Very much so. It's the most elegant interpretation of quantum mechanics.
Paige: So you really think there are an infinite number of universes?
Sheldon: Stephen Hawking believes it, so, yes, I do.
Paige: Well, if there are an infinite number of universes, I think that theory's dumb in all of them. [CHUCKLES] This is fun.

Adult Sheldon: Visiting Tam's house for the first time was an emotional roller coaster. For example, it's traditional in Vietnamese homes to have gruesome religious iconography near the entrance. I did not like that. However, it's also customary to not wear shoes around the house for sanitary reasons. I did like that. Interestingly, one of the main ingredients in Vietnamese cooking is an extremely pungent condiment known as fish sauce. I did not like that. But before every meal, it's common for everyone to wash their hands and face. I did like that. Forks are not customary in a Vietnamese household. I did not like that. And instead of napkins, there was one towel for everyone to share at the table. Seriously, what are they thinking?

Dr. John Sturgis: Hello, my little vicuña.
Meemaw: [chuckles] Well, hello to you, too. And more importantly, what is a vicuña?
Dr. John Sturgis: Only what I feel is the cutest camelid on the planet.
Meemaw: Well, I suppose I could ask you what a camelid is, but you're just gonna say more words that I don't know.

George: So he hasn't been in any of your classes?
Ms. Ingram: Mm-mm, not a one.
Ms. MacElroy: Nope.
George: But I bring him here, I take him home he's got to be somewhere in the building.
Ms. Ingram: Mm, I might've seen him in the library. But at this point, I sometimes think I see him when I'm alone in my house.
Ms. MacElroy: Like that creepy Chucky doll in the movies?
Ms. Ingram: [laughs] Exactly!

Sheldon: Okay, your basic arithmetic skills are disappointing but functional.
Billy Sparks: Thank you.
Sheldon: All right, let's talk about negative numbers.
Billy Sparks: I'm all ear.
Sheldon: "Ears."
Billy Sparks: No. "Ear." This one's clogged.

Sheldon: Okay. Negative numbers are numbers that are less than zero.
Billy Sparks: But zero's nothing.
Sheldon: Yes.
Billy Sparks: So how can you have less than nothing?
Sheldon: Let's see. How about this? If you have a dollar, that's one. If you have no dollars, that's zero. But if you owe me a dollar, that's negative one. Does that make sense?
Billy Sparks: I think so.
Sheldon: All right, we're making progress.
Billy Sparks: Mom! I owe Sheldon a dollar.

Paige: I'm messing with you. It's just, sometimes life sucks, and it's easier not to deal with it.
Sheldon: Could you be more specific?
Paige: Um... well, I have no friends, I don't fit in anywhere, and I dropped out of college but I'm too young to get a job, so killing brain cells makes it easier.
Sheldon: Huh.
Paige: Go ahead, smart guy, fix me. [Sheldon is silent] Mm.
Sheldon: Well, give me a minute.

Meemaw: John?
Dr. John Sturgis: Hello.
Meemaw: What- What're you doing?
Dr. John Sturgis: I was doing tai chi and then I realized that I was continually being bombarded by subatomic particles and it behooves me, perhaps, to pay slightly closer attention to them. Maybe "chi" is the ancient Chinese word for the subatomic universe.
Meemaw: You're scaring me, John.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, there's nothing to be scared of. Tomorrow, somebody will win the Nobel Prize about these particles not me. But I'm experiencing them firsthand [LAUGHS] which could be better.
Meemaw: Why don't you come down and experience them on the floor?
Dr. John Sturgis: I think I just felt a neutrino. [LAUGHING] You know, neutrinos are interesting. They never bond with anything, they're always alone. I think that one went right through my pants.
Meemaw: All right, why don't we go downstairs, and I'll fix us both a nice cup of hot tea and you can tell me all about it. Please?
Dr. John Sturgis: Okay. It was my dream to win the Nobel, and I'm not going to. I bet Sheldon will.
Meemaw: That'll be something.
Dr. John Sturgis: Yeah.

Meemaw: So I saw a lawyer today.
Mary: Why?
Meemaw: I'm putting together my last will and testament.
George: We're gonna miss ya.
Mary: George.
Meemaw: Don't worry. I ain't leaving him squat.

Georgie: Mornin'.
Mary: Mornin'.
Georgie: I slept in the nude last night. Felt every little breeze.
[Sheldon slides his food away]
Mary: Thank you for sharing that.
Georgie: You're welcome.

Adult Sheldon: That was the first time I held my father's hand. I wouldn't touch my brother's hand until seventeen years later, thanks to the invention of Purell.