Paige: Hey, can I drive?
Missy: Better not. My dad'll be pretty mad if something happens to his truck.
Paige: Like what, if somebody stole it?
Missy: Oh, my God, I'm a criminal.
Paige: Yeah. It's pretty cool, right?
Missy: I'm gonna be in so much trouble.
Paige: Only if you go back.
Missy: I guess you're right.

George: Studying for a test?
Sheldon: Studying to take the bar exam. Meemaw's going to need a smart lawyer. By the time we find one, I could just learn how to do it.
George: Seriously?
Sheldon: Common law was invented by a bunch of English farmers in the Middle Ages. I think I can hack it.

Georgie: You got to eat them Cheerios, they're good for you. You can tell 'cause there ain't no cartoon on the box. Now, Cocoa Puffs got that bird on 'em, and he's cuckoo for 'em.

Georgie: [enunciating] Your mother has been helping me, and it has not been easy. But I'm going to keep working on it for you. Okay, let's get you cleaned up.
Mandy: See? He's tryin'.
Georgie: Try-ing.
Audrey: It's nice to see. Who's ready for coffee?
Georgie: I believe you mean, "Whom's ready for coffee?" [exits]
Audrey: Whom's?
Mandy: Oh, let him have this one.

Sheldon: Do you think a Spock could become a Kirk?
Meemaw: Well, in my experience, most people stay the miserable bastards they are their whole entire life. But I have seen some folks change.

Meemaw: Okay, here you go. I got you a shovel and a bucket and some gloves.
Sheldon: Did you check the gloves for spiders?
Meemaw: Is this my first day as Meemaw?

Sheldon: I'm enjoying this, but I'm having trouble with the onomatopoeia.
Tam: The what?
Sheldon: The onomatopoeia. Words that imitate sounds. "Kthoom" "Snikt" "Bamf" Writers shouldn't make up words.
Tam: Somebody made up "onomatopoeia".
Sheldon: You challenge me. I like that.

Sheldon: I wonder if we'll get to meet an astronaut.
Meemaw: I remember when I was a teenager, I had the biggest crush on John Glenn. I would've given it up for him no problem.
Mary: Mom.
Missy: Given what up?
Mary: Her allowance. Just eat.

Adult Sheldon: I've often been accused of being stubborn and willful, but sometimes it works like gangbusters.

Mary: She looks harmless.
Meemaw: She's cute. So she probably gets away with stuff. I'm like that.

Sheldon: I've been corresponding with Dr. John Sturgis at East Texas Tech. He said I could audit his course.
Meemaw: You're pen pals with a stranger? Is this okay?
Sheldon: He's not a stranger. He's a famous scientist. He carbon-dated the oldest human feces.
Meemaw: That ain't strange.

Meemaw: What do you think? I won it bowling. It was either that or a Crock-Pot, and I already got three of those, so I thought I'd surprise you.
Sheldon: No, thank you. Video games are for children.
Meemaw: Sheldon, you are a child. I just blew the hot off your SpaghettiOs.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, Meemaw, I just don't think it's a very productive use of my time.
Meemaw: You're a man of science. Aren't you interested in doing a little research here?

Mary: Georgie, if you want to be a good Christian, maybe you should stop lying through your teeth.
Georgie: Just be happy I brushed them, okay

Georgie: Tell me, Sheldon.
Sheldon: It occurred to me that a good way to generate a positive cash flow would be to curate popular songs and make them available in a digital form. Possibly on a small device that could also be used as a phone or even a camera.
Georgie: Right. [mocking] A phone, camera, music machine. Get out of here.

Adult Sheldon: [v.o.] We often regret the things we don't say. There's a lot of things I wish I had said to my dad while he was around. That I appreciated him. That I loved him. Which is why I'm grateful for the times I did tell him how I felt.
Sheldon: Tonight was fun.
George: Yeah? Why is that?
Sheldon: Dr. Sturgis was here. Everybody talked about science. It was nice.
George: It was.