Adult Sheldon: I've always loved trains. In fact, if my career in theoretical physics hadn't worked out, my backup plan was to become a professional ticket taker. Or hobo.

Sheldon: Just think. You'll have this table all to yourself.
Tam: Actually, I joined the jazz band. Those guys have their own table in the cafeteria.
Sheldon: Oh.
Tam: They're pretty cool. The drummer's even got a goatee.
Sheldon: Well, I'm glad I knew you before you became a heroin addict.

Pastor Jeff: Because the first day had just begun.
Sheldon: So, before the Big Bang?
Pastor Jeff: There was no Big Bang. There was only the Word.
Sheldon: Was the word "kaboom"?

Mary: Do you have any idea what's gotten into him?
Meemaw: I might.
Mary: Well?
Meemaw: Have you ever heard of Mobokachi Kaboom? Wait. Koshimaki Magoo. Wait a minute, I'm gonna get this.

George: What the hell were you doing out there?
Mary: George, language.
George: What language?

Adult Sheldon: But I wasn't a good sport. At that moment, I vowed to come back the following Sunday and destroy Pastor Jeff.

Meemaw: What kind of Texan drinks pink wine?

Dr. Hodges: Now, what I thought would be fun to talk about today is what NASA's planning on doing beyond the Space Shuttle. Things like the first manned mission to Mars. Uh, yeah?
Georgie: Did you see the movie Aliens?
Dr. Hodges: I did.
Georgie: Did you think it was cool?
Dr. Hodges: Uh, sure, I enjoyed it.
Georgie: Me, too.
Dr. Hodges: Football player, right?
Georgie: Yes, sir.

Georgie: I'm bored.
Missy: Me, too.
Meemaw: Hey. Someday somebody's gonna write a book about Sheldon. Don't you want there to be a chapter about how loving and supportive you two were?
Georgie: Doesn't matter. I ain't reading it.

Adult Sheldon: The average American consumes 55 pounds of beef per year. And then there's Texas, where we can knock that off in a couple of months. Maybe faster, if we're talking about smoked brisket. Curiously, the one cut of beef that Texans and Jews agree upon.

Georgie: [to Mary] Why you cryin'?
Meemaw: Why you stupid?

Ms. MacElroy: Tell you what I do. I send him on little errands. Like the other day, I told him, "Go to the supply room and get me a framastan."
Coach Wilkins: What's a "framastan"?
Ms. MacElroy: No such thing. I made it up. He was gone the whole period.
Ms. Ingram: [laughs] I'm using that.
Ms. MacElroy: Don't use "framastan". That's mine.

Adult Sheldon: My mother didn't believe in elves, fairies, or dragons. But she did believe in the devil. And she did not view him as an appropriate playmate for her son.

Ira Rosenbloom: So, Sheldon, you hungry? You want a nosh?
Sheldon: I don't know, I've never eaten a nosh.
Ira Rosenbloom: (chuckling) Uh, no, a nosh isn't a thing, it's a never mind. Um, would you care for some hard candy?
Sheldon: Are they kosher?
Ira Rosenbloom: Who are you, my mother?

Mr. Givens: All right, losers, you know how this works. One hour, no talking, no horseplay. Sheldon?
Sheldon: Hello, Mr. Givens.
Mr. Givens: Why are you here?
Sheldon: I didn't want to catch a cold from Ms. MacElroy, so I left her classroom without a hall pass.
Mr. Givens: Well, something is going around. I actually had a little tickle in my throat.
Sheldon: Okay, time to go. Nice meeting you.
Mr. Givens: Whoa, what-what are you doing?
Sheldon: You've heard of fight or flight? This is flight.