Adult Sheldon: Since I no longer had a college class with Dr. Sturgis to stoke my intellectual fire, I needed to find someone else who was up to the task of being my mentor. A great mind. A once-in-a-generation thinker. Fortunately, my schedule was wide open.
Sheldon: School's in session.

George: Hey, Tam. I can't find Sheldon. You know where he is?
Tam: I promised not to say.
George: Tam!
Tam: Lucky for you I'm weak.
[later, as George finds Sheldon's secret study hall:]
George: Are you kidding me?
Sheldon: I knew Tam was weak.

Meemaw: There are certain grown-up dynamics taking place here that you, you might not be aware of.
Sheldon: Well, I like quantum-chromodynamics and thermodynamics; perhaps I'll like grown-up dynamics. Tell me.
Meemaw: I'm just saying that Dr. Linkletter might be paying special attention to you so he can become better friends with me.
Sheldon: Why?
Meemaw: You're just gonna have to trust me on this one.
Sheldon: Are you saying he doesn't really want me at this lecture?
Meemaw: No, I'm just saying he really wants me at this lecture.
Sheldon: But that's illogical. He knows you're in a relationship with Dr. Sturgis.
Meemaw: And now we're back to it's complicated, so drop it.
Sheldon: I'll try, but dropping things is not where I shine.

Dr. John Sturgis: It's so good to see you.
Sheldon: I don't normally do this, but put her there.
Dr. John Sturgis: No mitten. I'm honored.

Sheldon: Missy said that Meemaw is upset at Dr. Sturgis.
Mary: Don't worry, she'll get over it.
Sheldon: The question is will she get over it by Friday at 4:00 p.m.? That's when we leave for my class.
Mary: I don't know, Shelly.
Sheldon: I suppose she could drop me off outside. Where are we on me walking through parking lots alone these days?
Mary: How about this? Um, until she's up to it, I'll take you.
Sheldon: Thanks. The parking lot still gives me the willies.

Sheldon: Ooh! Someone responded to a theory I posted on the physics bulletin board. He called my work flawed.
Missy: That's rude. Let him know he can't push you around. That's what I did at baseball practice.
Sheldon: I'd rather not resort to name-calling. It usually gets me stuffed somewhere uncomfortable.
Missy: That's in person, where people know you're pathetic and weak.
Sheldon: That's true. This is completely anonymous. I can say whatever I want without fear of physical retaliation. Thanks.
Adult Sheldon: And on that day, my sister created the first Internet flame war.
Sheldon: Ooh, that is as cruel as it is grammatical. And send.

Sheldon: You should probably settle on a specific date because when I want to go to RadioShack and my dad says, "Maybe another time," we never end up going.
Meemaw: Thank you so much, Sheldon. I think we got this.

Sheldon: Stay back!
Meemaw: Calm down. We're taking her home.
Missy: To be murdered.
Sheldon: Okay, have fun.

George: Who the hell is this?
Sheldon: This is Nathan. He's been to four Comic-Cons.

Meemaw: Beam your ass out of here.
Nathan: Yes, ma'am. One to beam up. Energize.
[Star Trek: The Next Generation theme plays]
Adult Sheldon: Okay, that last part didn't happen, but, boy, would that have been neat.
Sheldon: That was so neat.
Nathan: Forgot my tape. [music stops, tape ejects] Energize.
Sheldon: I miss him already.

Missy: How about a movie?
Sheldon: How about the planetarium? That's like a movie, where you can see real stars instead of, I don't know, Gene Kelly?
Missy: We're never gonna agree. Let's just do rock, paper, scissors.
Sheldon: No. Anecdotal evidence suggests that players familiar with each other will tie 75% of the time due to the limited number of outcomes.
Missy: Well, what if we added a few more choices? Like, rock, paper, scissors, candy, pony.
Sheldon: Now you're just being silly.

Mary: Hey. What are you doing with him? I thought you were in your room.
Sheldon: Oh, don't worry. I was.
George: I need to talk to your mother. Go back to your room.
Sheldon: All right.
Mary: And this time, stay there.
Sheldon: Aw.

Sheldon: Now you don't want me to go to college either?
George: I didn't say that. I'm just saying, given how young you are, we need to be realistic.
Sheldon: I'll have you know I recently took care of my own boo-boo.
George: And as grown-up as that makes you sound, I don't think it's gonna convince your mother.
Sheldon: What will convince her?
George: I don't know, but I'm sure between the two of us, we can come up with a plan.
Sheldon: Well, you managed to get her to marry you, so you do have a track record.

[As Sheldon finally retrieves the errant piece of hot dog meat from under the refrigerator:]
Sheldon: Whew. That was driving me crazy. Thank you for getting me into college.

Sheldon: Why would Paige get competitive over Bible trivia? She doesn't care about that.
Mary: Maybe she just wanted that bookmark.
Missy: Yeah. I wanted this "what would Jesus do?" slap bracelet. Ow.
Sheldon: I liked it better when she and I were making fun of everything.
Mary: You might have more fun if you participated, too.
Sheldon: Oh, I'll participate.
Mary: Great.
Sheldon: If Paige wants to go head-to-head on Bible trivia, she picked the wrong fact-filled atheist to mess with.
Mary: [quietly] Great.