Sheldon: Georgie? Georgie?
Georgie: What?
Sheldon: Would you like some salted mixed nuts?
Georgie: Nah.
Sheldon: Look, they're the fancy kind.
Georgie: That's a trick can.
Sheldon: No, it's not. Listen. When you shake it, there's a rattling sound, as if nuts are inside.
Georgie: Fine. [George opens the can]
Sheldon: [SCREAMS] Bazinga.

Sheldon: I just don't know where I went wrong.
Tam: Are you sure your questioning was skillful?
Sheldon: I thought so, but after two hours of interrogation, all I could extract from my sister's brain was that there was some sort of block with new kids on it.

Adult Sheldon: Throughout my high school career, Nurse Nora and I had been through quite a few close calls.
Nora: This is just a blister.
Sheldon: Are you sure?
Nora: Sheldon, I promise you don't have leprosy.

Mary: How you feelin', baby?
Sheldon: Remember the tuna sandwich I had at the bus station?
Mary: Yeah?
Sheldon: Worse than that.

George: Okay. I got your pillow and your blanket.
Mary: Shelly, what do you say?
Sheldon: Why does it smell like Missy?

Ricky: What are you gonna do when you get home?
Sheldon: Enjoy a bathroom I can relax in. Although I do like that there's a big red emergency button in there.

Mary: Sheldon, I just got off the phone with that nurse from the hospital. Your little roommate's gonna be just fine.
Sheldon: Oh, good. That's a relief.
Mary: Would you like to go visit him?
Sheldon: No. Why?

Sheldon: Hello. I'd like to speak to Arthur Jeffries. He plays Professor Proton. But you probably know that, since you answer the phone at the station that makes the show, you lucky duck.
Then I'd like to leave him another message. Please tell him Sheldon Cooper called again and that I've successfully obtained the radioactive material that I'm looking for. Yes, americium-241. I have lots of it. I live at 5501 Grant Avenue, Medford, Texas. If you're sending me an autographed picture, I already have one. Ooh, how about one of his bow ties?

Sheldon: She wasn't wrong. Studies do support that your sense of taste changes over time.
Tam: So the bread's the same and you're different?
Sheldon: Apparently so. Nope, it's the bread.

Sheldon: I have something important that I'd like to say. These last few days, I've been giving the new Happy Hearth bread another chance, and I've decided it's not so bad. Also, it toasts well. So, I'm going to say that's a sign of personal growth on my part. In fact, let's call it maturity. Still not talking to me, huh? Well I'll check back in tomorrow.

Mary: Let's just say grace.
Sheldon: Hold on. Are these hot dogs kosher?[Meemaw laughs, snorts]

George: What's up?
Principal Petersen: We got the PSAT results back, and Sheldon got a perfect score.
Sheldon: Neat.
George: Thanks, Tom. I'll be sure to put that up on the fridge.
Principal Petersen: No, you don't understand. Sheldon's the only kid in the school to ever do this. At his age, maybe in the whole country.
Sheldon: It was fun. I enjoyed it.

Sheldon: As smart as I am, I tried to put out a fire with oxygen and paper.

Georgie: I also hung a cross over the bed for you. It's just Popsicle sticks and glitter. I glued it together in Sunday school when I was a kid. [Veronica starts crying] Is-is it too much? I can take it down.
Veronica: [SNIFFLES] No, it's it's really sweet.
Sheldon: Why are you crying? Did Georgie bring up your unfortunate home life?
Veronica: Uh, no.
Sheldon: Good. My mom said not to, so that you would be comfortable.
Veronica: Thank you.
Sheldon: [staring] Are you comfortable?

Sheldon: [choking] There's lemon in this water.