Meemaw: Awful quiet back there.
Sheldon: I'm having an emotion I'm unfamiliar with.
Meemaw: Hmm. Think it might have something to do with your new classmate?
Sheldon: It's possible. She's the only variable in the social equation.
Meemaw: So what are you feeling?
Sheldon: My face is hot, I've a knot in my stomach, and I'm resisting the urge to kick your seat right now.
Meemaw: I'm thinking it might be jealousy.
Sheldon: No, that's not in my nature.
Meemaw: All right, let's go through all the emotions. I'm looking at your face, so I'm gonna rule out happy. Are you sad?
Sheldon: No, there's too much anger in there.
Meemaw: Oh, well, maybe you're angry.
Sheldon: No, there's too much sad in there.

Mary: Come on, Shelly. Maybe you'll end up being friends.
Sheldon: I don't like her, I'm not going to like her, and Tam is my friend. I don't need another one.
Mary: You can have more than one friend. I'm sure Tam has other friends.
Sheldon: No, I'm all he's got. And even I avoid him half the time.

Mary: So Paige didn't make a good first impression, but that can change. What's that new Star Trek show?
Sheldon: Next Generation?
Mary: When that first came on, you said a new Star Trek without Dr. Spock could never be good, but I've seen you watching it.
Sheldon: Well, first of all, it's Mr. Spock. Dr. Spock writes books about babies.
Mary: My apologies.
Sheldon: And second of all, Paige isn't a TV show. She's a person, and we all know how I feel about people. [BLOWS RASPBERRY]

Mary: Sweet dreams. Love you.
Sheldon: Love you, too, 'cause you're my mom. [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]

George: Sheldon, I'm talking to you.
Sheldon: Well, I'm not talking to you.
George: Okay, what's going on?
Sheldon: After having my first good night's sleep in a week, I woke up with a fresh perspective.
George: And that is?
Sheldon: It was irresponsible of you to burden me with that secret.
George: Sheldon, we've been through this. It's complicated.
Sheldon: While I may not look up to you from an intellectual standpoint, I've always looked up to you as a role model. I can't do that anymore. And don't worry, we made a deal. I'll continue to keep your secret.

George: Well, a couple of scientists at the college where Dr. Sturgis teaches are doing a research study on twins. They want to meet you guys, ask you some questions.
Sheldon: Oh, boy, a research study. Will they give us written tests?
George: Yeah, I think so.
Sheldon: Oh, boy.

Sheldon: Should I go left or right?
Meemaw: Why don't you try going in that cave?
Sheldon: Why would I do that? It's probably dangerous.
Meemaw: Sheldon, they wouldn't have put the cave there if they didn't want you to go in it.
Sheldon: Seems unnecessarily reckless, but okay. "Dark and dangerous." I told you.
Meemaw: Just keep going.
Sheldon: The box was right, my heart is pounding.

Meemaw: Why don't you let the old person give it a shot?
Sheldon: Would you like me to give you a tutorial first?
Meemaw: Give it to me. I'll figure it out.
Sheldon: We are such different people, Meemaw.

Sheldon: I also found us extra life points inside a demon.
Mary: There are demons in this game?
Sheldon: Don't worry, Meemaw cut his head off.

Sheldon: Subject D is attempting to influence Subject G regarding relocating.
George: What about you, Sheldon?
Sheldon: What about me what?
George: Could you ever see yourself leaving Medford?
Sheldon: I'm sorry, Dad, but I'm unable to express an opinion at this time.
George: Why not?
Sheldon: In the interest of science, I have to remain a neutral observer.
George: Glad I asked.

Sheldon: Are we sleeping there? Do I need to bring pajamas?
Georgie: Just sleep in your underwear.
Sheldon: In my underwear? I hardly think so.

Missy: Did you guys know Paige speaks three languages?
Meemaw: Really? That's impressive.
Missy: You only speak one.
Sheldon: Two. I'm learning conversational Klingon.

Missy: Hey, Mom, can Paige sleep over this weekend?
Mary: I guess, if her mother says okay.
Sheldon: Wait, where is she going to sleep?
Missy: In your bed. You can sleep on the couch.
Sheldon: Absolutely not. I've already changed my brand of loafers, I am not changing my sleeping quarters.

George: What, the girls leave you out of their little picnic?
Mary: Oh, they invited him.
George: Well, then why ain't you out there?
Sheldon: Eat outdoors? Do I look like a hippie to you?

Georgie: I thought Paige was your friend.
Sheldon: She's more of a colleague.
Georgie: Oh.
Sheldon: Although for reasons unknown, she's currently behaving like a ten-year-old.
Mary: Maybe that's because she is a ten-year-old.
Sheldon: Still no excuse.