Mary: When I'm feeling down, do you know what I do?
All: Pray.
Mary: It works. In fact, I'm gonna pray for you tonight.
Missy: Everybody prays to God at night. Do it now while he's got some free time.

Missy: "I know you got your hands full with all that sad stuff, like disease and war and hunger and poverty, so thanks again for helping me get some hits at practice." Amen.
Mary: Don't forget to ask him to keep our family safe and healthy.
Missy: I just hung up. Don't make me call him back.

George Jr.: I liked it better when you wanted to marry ALF.
Missy: I still kind of do.

George Jr.: Friday the Thirteenth Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan might be the best one.
Missy: Muppets also took Manhattan.

Sheldon: Well, I may never get another chance to see him in person.
Missy: Suck it up. You always get everything you want.
Sheldon: That's not true.
Missy: You got a computer. I'm reading a booger book.

Missy: Dad. You missed everything.
George Sr.: What happened?
Missy: Georgie lied to Mom to be alone at Jana's house, but Mom knew 'cause she listened in on his phone call.
George Sr.: Oh, boy.
Missy: Now he's grounded and everyone's mad. Not me. I'm super happy.
George Sr.: Well... bye.

Mary: I am running over to the Sparks's for a little while.
Missy: Why?
Mary: Team meeting with the other baseball moms. You're all right until Dad gets home?
Missy: Oh, yeah. Charles is in charge.
Charles: [on TV] Look at this. I'm talking to an egg.

Missy: Whoa.
Sheldon: What's that?
Missy: It's a ghost detector that came in my cereal box.
Sheldon: It's just a piece of paper.
Missy: Then why did it move in my hand?
Sheldon: From perspiration.
Missy: Or ghosts.

Mary: Mornin'.
Missy: Did you check on Ms. Hutchins? Is she still alive?
Mary: Of course she is. Why?
Missy: No reason.

George Sr.: There we go. Nice little bite-size pieces.
Hutchins: Thanks, George, but I-I think I can manage.
George Sr.: No, no. My pleasure.
Missy: He feels so guilty, he'll do anything you ask him.
George Sr.: That's enough from you.
Missy: He bought me an Easy-Bake Oven when he closed the car door on my thumb.

["Turkey in the Straw" plays nearby]
Missy: Ice cream. Ice cream, Mom... can I?
Mary: Sure.
Missy: Ice cream! [runs off]
Mary: Don't you need money?
Missy: I need money! [runs back] Thank you.
Mary: Don't run!

Meemaw: So what-what-what's his name?
Missy: Marcus Adam Larson, he's 11 and a half, he has blond hair, his favorite color's green and he's learning how to skateboard, but he's not very good yet.
Meemaw: Okay, well, I have to ask, now... at your age, having a boyfriend, what does that mean? Do you, uh... go out on dates?
Missy: No.
Meemaw: Um... well, d-do you hold hands?
Missy: I wish, but no.
Meemaw: So how do you know he's your boyfriend?
Missy: Because this happened. [hands Meemaw a "check yes or no" paper]
Meemaw: Wow. I didn't realize you had documentation.
Missy: I know.

Sheldon: Can you open this? I'm making spaghetti with hot dogs cut up in it.
Missy: You know there's a lady that does that for us, right?
Sheldon: Yes, but she's not here right now.
Missy: That's why I'm watching Oprah.
Oprah: [on TV] I would like to introduce each of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Leonardo...

Missy: Say cheese.
Sheldon: Cheese. [camera shutter clicks] Now tell me what was in that letter.
Missy: You're pretty cranky for a princess rodeo clown.

Missy: This is weird.
Mary: I think it's nice. We don't usually get to chat, just us.
Missy: Yeah, I guess.
Mary: How are things in school?
Missy: Fine.
Mary: Still having fun at baseball?
Missy: Mm-hmm.
Mary: So, any boys you like?
George Jr.: [enters] Hey.
Missy: Thank God.

Mary: Where have you been?
George Jr.: Trying to find a job, but no one's hiring.
Mary: I'm sorry. Grab a plate and sit with us.
George Jr.: I ain't hungry. [exits]
Mary: So, where were we? Oh. Boys.
Missy: Georgie, come back.

Mary: Missy, how would you and Sheldon like a graduation party?
Sheldon: Why would Missy have a graduation party?
Missy: 'Cause I'm graduating elementary school.
Sheldon: That counts?
George Sr.: Of course it counts.
Sheldon: Yes, it's a big deal. She's going to a new school. New friends, new teachers.
Missy: Same clothes 'cause we're poor. [phone rings]
George Sr.: We're not poor.
Missy: So I can get new clothes?
George Sr.: We're not rich, either.

Kimberly: So act natural. We're just having a chat. I'm gonna ask y'all a few questions about Sheldon's high school graduation.
Missy: I'm graduating, also.
Kimberly: Really? You're graduating from high school, too?
Missy: No, elementary school.
Kimberly: Oh.
Missy: My class is singing "This Land Is Your Land." Want to hear it? [sings] This land is your land...

Missy: We need to stop so I can pee.
George Sr.: I told you to pee before we left the house.
Missy: That was an hour and a half ago.
George Sr.: [sighs] Can't you hold it?
Missy: I may spit like a man, but I have the bladder of a little girl.

George Sr.: Ready to roll?
Missy: Not really.
George Sr.: What's wrong?
Missy: It... happened.
George Sr.: What happened?
Missy: That thing that happens to girls when they're becoming young ladies.
George Sr.: What?! Now?
Missy: I'm not happy about it, either.
George Sr.: [stammers] Should we go home?
Missy: I'm pitching in an hour.
George Sr.: I... You think that's a good idea? Maybe you need to lie down.
Missy: I don't need to lie down.
George Sr.: Okay, well, maybe I need to lie down.