Meemaw Quotes
Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair
Meemaw: You think I didn't feel bad not being around more than I wanted to be?
Mary: Did you?
Meemaw: A little bit. I'm teasing, come on.
Quote from the episode Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat, and Cyndi Lauper's Hair
Meemaw: Why else would I have begged you and George to move back to Medford?
Mary: So you could be with your grandchildren.
Meemaw: And you.
Mary: Really?
Meemaw: Yeah. You're the only one of my children still talking to me.
Mary: No surprise there.
Meemaw: Besides, you raised yourself better than I ever could.
Mary: You actually believe that?
Meemaw: No, but it would help my cause if you did.
Quote from the episode Spock, Kirk, and Testicular Hernia
Meemaw: I gravitate a little more towards Kirk.
Sheldon: Why?
Meemaw: [imitating William Shatner] Be-cause everything he says he makes sound so im-portant.
Sheldon: I should hope so, he's the captain.
Quote from the episode Spock, Kirk, and Testicular Hernia
George Sr.: Can you help me out here?
Sheldon: [Meemaw whispers to him] I'll do it if you take me to the train store.
George Sr.: You got it.
Sheldon: [Meemaw whispers again] And buy me whatever I want.
George Sr.: Connie, what are you doing?
Meemaw: [imitating William Shatner] Just providing my grand-son with financial guid-ance.
Sheldon: Don't mock the captain.
Quote from the episode Demons, Sunday School, and Prime Numbers
George Sr.: So, Pastor How's things going at the church?
Pastor Jeff: Please, call me Jeff. And everything's going great 'cause I have the coolest boss.
Meemaw: I'm sorry, but I'm kind of having a hard time feeling the Holy Spirit calling you Jeff. I'm-I'm gonna stick with Pastor.
Pastor Jeff: Sure.
Meemaw: Thank you, Pastor. Yeah, that feels better.
Quote from the episode Demons, Sunday School, and Prime Numbers
George Sr.: I can't believe he's reading the Bible.
Mary: I know. I'm actually grateful to that Dungeons & Dragons game. It helped lead him to God.
Meemaw: Ixnay on the Odsgay.
Quote from the episode A Computer, a Plastic Pony, and a Case of Beer
Meemaw: I love you, and I love the kids, but I love you better living across the street.
Mary: Sorry the end of my marriage is inconveniencing you.
Meemaw: Oh, don't be so dramatic. It's a little spat.
Mary: No, this was a long time coming. This goes to the very core of our relationship.
Meemaw: I see we're sticking with dramatic.
Quote from the episode A Sneeze, Detention, and Sissy Spacek
Mary: Not so funny now, is it?
Meemaw: No. How long is he suspended for?
George Sr.: A week.
Mary: And it goes on his permanent record.
Meemaw: Well, that's no big deal. I had all kinds of stuff on my permanent high school record. Didn't stop me from being a bartender for eight years.
Quote from the episode A Sneeze, Detention, and Sissy Spacek
George Sr.: I think the real issue we need to deal with is his germ phobia.
Meemaw: Oh, yes, you don't want him turning into Howard Hughes. Growing his nails out. Peeing in a jar.
George Sr.: Why would he pee into a jar?
Meemaw: I don't know why he peed in a jar, I just know he did.
Quote from the episode A Sneeze, Detention, and Sissy Spacek
George Sr.: It's ridiculous. I'm I'm gonna take it down.
Mary: No, you can't force him out of a phobia.
George Sr.: What do we do? He can't live in there.
Mary: Well, actually, he can. He's got the refrigerator and a sleeping bag.
Meemaw: And he can always go potty in the sink.
Quote from the episode A Sneeze, Detention, and Sissy Spacek
Mary: If you're not gonna help, please go inside. This is not a show.
Meemaw: Now that's where I disagree.
Quote from the episode A Sneeze, Detention, and Sissy Spacek
Mary: Shelly, baby, please come on out.
Sheldon: I can't.
Mary: Come on. I'm your mommy. Do it for your mommy.
Sheldon: No.
Mary: But I'm your mommy.
Meemaw: [LAUGHING] Y'all are killing me. [LAUGHING]: "I'm your mommy."
Quote from the episode Killer Asteroids, Oklahoma, and a Frizzy Hair Machine
Mary: Maybe he should talk to somebody.
George Sr.: Not it.
Mary: I meant a professional, George.
Meemaw: But way to be a dad.
Quote from the episode Killer Asteroids, Oklahoma, and a Frizzy Hair Machine
Meemaw: Now, I was a little unsure at first, but Sandy Duncan does play Peter Pan, so when you think about it-
George Sr.: Connie, you're not helping.
Meemaw: Okay.
Quote from the episode Gluons, Guacamole, and the Color Purple
Sheldon: It's only one day a week, and I was hoping Meemaw could take me.
Meemaw: I'm gonna start eating dinner at my house.
Quote from the episode Gluons, Guacamole, and the Color Purple
Meemaw: Okay, you all situated?
Sheldon: I believe so, yes.
Meemaw: I'll be right outside.
Sheldon: Are you sure you don't want to stay and learn about quantum chromodynamics?
Meemaw: And spoil the fun of you telling me all about it on the ride home? No way.
Sheldon: Smart.
Quote from the episode Gluons, Guacamole, and the Color Purple
Meemaw: Oh, you must be my grandson's pen pal.
Dr. John Sturgis: I'm sorry?
Meemaw: Sheldon Cooper.
Dr. John Sturgis: The nine-year-old with the flawless penmanship. I look forward to meeting him.
Meemaw: Well, he's right in there. You can't miss him. He's about yea big.
Dr. John Sturgis: Oh. An-An-And will you be joining us?
Meemaw: Will you be discussing quantum chromodynamics?
Dr. John Sturgis: I certainly hope so.
Meemaw: Then I don't think so.
Dr. John Sturgis: Are you sure? Every day is a chance to learn something new.
Meemaw: Can I ask questions?
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, how else can you learn?
Meemaw: Well, let's do it, then.
Quote from the episode Gluons, Guacamole, and the Color Purple
Dr. John Sturgis: My name's John.
Meemaw: And I'm Connie.
Dr. John Sturgis: My middle name's Whitney.
Meemaw: And now I know that.
Quote from the episode Gluons, Guacamole, and the Color Purple
Mary: Boy, Sheldon's fired up.
Meemaw: Oh, he loved it. He sat there for an hour and a half just as happy as a pig in poop.
Quote from the episode Gluons, Guacamole, and the Color Purple
Sheldon: Don't put on too much of that. We want him to like you for your mind.
Meemaw: I think I know what I'm doing when it comes to men.
Sheldon: If that's true, then why do you live alone?
Meemaw: Because my husband died. Any other questions?
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