Sheldon: All right, here we go.
Meemaw: I thought I was playing.
Sheldon: You don't know how to play; you didn't read the manual.
Meemaw: You're in charge, Emelda.

Mary: Listen, I'm gonna need your help with something.
Meemaw: Is it about money?
Mary: No.
Meemaw: Then I'm your gal.

Meemaw: What's up?
Mary: George is up for a coaching job at the University of Tulsa.
Meemaw: Tulsa? Ugh. Last year, I lost $800 on that damn team.
Mary: I'm sorry to hear that.
Meemaw: I'm fine with most of the Division I stuff, but these independent teams, I j- I just can't seem to get a handle on it. You think if George got that job he might give me an inside line?
Mary: Mom.
Meemaw: Well, I'd cut him in, make it look like a Christmas present.

Mary: Would you please listen to me? If we move up there, other than holidays, you're not gonna see your grandkids.
Meemaw: Oh, that's a point. You make it sound like a Sophie's Choice kind of deal.

Mary: During dinner, maybe you could express how devastating it would be to be away from the kids.
Meemaw: Well, I don't think I'd use the word "devastating." That doesn't sound like me.
Mary: Okay, well, use whatever word you want.
Meemaw: I might use "heartbroken."
Mary: Good, use that.
Meemaw: Yeah, maybe. Have you got a thesaurus?

Meemaw: I think you're being a little tough on yourself.
Sheldon: I wonder why this is affecting me so much.
Meemaw: Well, maybe it has something to do with your parents arguing.
Sheldon: Us moving? I don't think so. Texas, Oklahoma what's the difference?
Meemaw: Hey, now, I think you might want to crack open your psychology textbook 'cause that there is crazy talk.

Meemaw: You like Willie Nelson?
Sheldon: That would require knowing the permeability of free space and natural units.
Meemaw: [MUSIC VOLUME INCREASES] I suppose I like Willie Nelson.

Richard Simmons: [on the TV] Let's sweat!
Meemaw: I plan on it, Richard.

Meemaw: Dr. Sturgis and I are going to Louisiana, do a little gambling.
Sheldon: So a donation could be forth coming?
Meemaw: Don't jinx me.

Dr. John Sturgis: May I ask you a personal question?
Meemaw: Sure.
Dr. John Sturgis: Does your gambling constitute a problem?
Meemaw: Not today. Bam! Come on. Let me take you out to dinner.
Dr. John Sturgis: Don't forget that you promised Sheldon if you won, you'd donate to the church.
Meemaw: You want to see me get cranky again?
Dr. John Sturgis: No, I don't.
Meemaw: Well, let's go strap on some bibs and eat lobster.

Sheldon: It's a shortwave radio. Dr. Sturgis is letting me use it.
Dr. John Sturgis: It picks up broadcasts from around the world.
Sheldon: Listen. This is the time being announced every minute from Ottawa.
Operator: At the sound of the tone, the local time in Ottawa will be 5:13. [BEEPS]
Meemaw: Spellbinding, ain't it?

Georgie: And if you act now, you can have this beautiful, limited edition keepsake in your home for the low, low price of only five dollars.
Meemaw: I hope you know I'm missing People's Court right now.
Georgie: But with Christmas coming, this would make an excellent stocking stuffer.
Meemaw: Well, you're my grandson, and I love you so it hurts me to do this. [closes door]
Georgie: Dang it.

Meemaw: Well, maybe Shel is just acting out 'cause he doesn't have his college class to go to anymore. I could ask John's professor friend. Maybe he'd let him sit in on a class.
Mary: And you are just bringing this up now?
Meemaw: I would've said something earlier, but I was enjoying the fight.

Meemaw: And on that fun note, I'll leave you to it.
Dr. Linkletter: Are you sure you wouldn't like to stay for the lecture?
Meemaw: Oh, no, bad idea. I'm told I snore.

Sheldon: Good news. You can take me to the lecture after all.
Meemaw: Why is that?
Sheldon: I told Dr. Linkletter everything you-
Meemaw: Stop. Come inside.
Sheldon: Why?
Meemaw: 'Cause there's kids in this neighborhood who don't need to hear the language I'm about to use.