President Hagemeyer: Gentlemen, please have a seat.
George: Sheldon's only been here a few weeks. I hope he's not in trouble already.
President Hagemeyer: What kind of trouble? Did something happen?
Sheldon: Ooh, maybe it's from when I decided...
George: Uh, uh, all good. Uh, you keep talking.

George: What, Billy won an award?
Brenda Sparks: Participation. Big whoop.
George: I guess it's something.
Brenda Sparks: Well, he ain't the sharpest pencil in the box, but he's the sweetest kid I know.
George: Well, Sheldon is the sharpest pencil. Sometimes I'd just like to shove his head in that box.

George: Hold on. Are you firing her?
Pastor Jeff: No, no, just a little leave of absence till things settle down.
Pastor Rob: Is that really necessary?
Pastor Jeff: I believe it is. As leaders of this church, we are held to a higher standard.
Mary: Are you asking us to leave the church?
Pastor Jeff: Of course not.
George: Y'all talk a big game about community, and then you just turn your back when things get a little messy.
Pastor Rob: Okay, let's just take a breath.
George: You do that. We're leaving. Come on, Mary.
Pastor Jeff: George, let's talk this through.
George: I've heard enough. I'll be in the truck. [exits]

Coach Wilkins: Hey, you heard from George today?
Principal Petersen: George. Cooper? No. You?
Coach Wilkins: No. Hoping that he would join us.
Principal Petersen: Well, he's going through a tough time at home, you got to cut him a little slack.
[George has been seated at their table drinking a beer the whole time]
George: Are you done?
Principal Petersen: I don't know. What do you think?
Coach Wilkins: I can keep going.
Principal Petersen: Me too. You ever wonder how that Sheldon kid wound up being so smart?
Coach Wilkins: Oh, you mean like was there a genius pizza delivery guy or mailman in the mix?
Principal Petersen: Exactly.
George: All right, that's enough. And for the record, my grandfather was a brilliant man. Co-invented the traffic cone. Used to be wood, he made it rubber. That's right.

George: Y'all want a prayer, I'll give you a prayer. Circle up. Heavenly Father, bless this team and the hands that catch... the- the ball...
Coach Wilkins: Oh, boy.
George: ...the feet that run and... and kick...

Missy: Is it okay if Taylor and I hang out in my room and listen to music?
George: Sure. Just keep the door closed so I don't have to hear it.
Missy: You got it. [Missy and Taylor walk off]
George: Probably gonna listen to show tunes.

George: Hey. What you doing?
Mary: The twins' first birthday. Look how little they were.
George: Well, look how little I was.
Mary: And Georgie when he lost his first tooth.
George: When he learned it was worth a quarter, he tried pulling the rest of 'em.
Mary: Guess he's always been a businessman.
George: He ain't an idiot.

Sheldon: Hey, he was about to power a clock with a potato.
George: Not possible.

George: You mean Sheldon? You can't let that bother you.
Georgie: It doesn't bother you? You got called to the principal's office.
George: Yeah, that wasn't so great.

Tam: Finally, we were allowed to come to United States and start over in Galveston. My father saved money and bought his own shrimp boat.
Mary: There's a happy ending. Huh? See, kids? When the going gets tough, America provides.
Tam: It did. Until the Ku Klux Klan burned our boat and chased us away.
George: You gonna put a good spin on that one?

Mary: Sorry about the "fat", honey.
George: You said you liked me this way.

George: Remind me to tell you about the tax refund I got from the IRS.

George: It's solar-powered. Can you imagine that?

George: It's late. What are you doing up?
Sheldon: I'm working on the hyperbolic calculations for a rocket return.
George: Need any help?
Sheldon: What?
George: I'm kiddin'.

George: Go!
Sheldon: And you're surprised I have an ulcer.
George: I'm surprised I don't have one.