George Jr.: I'll tell you another idea I have for keeping my kid in line.
George Sr.: Oh, can't wait.
George Jr.: I seen this show where they put these electric trackers on these dolphins. And with satellites, they can tell exactly where they are.
George Sr.: Dolphins? Go on.
George Jr.: I'm gonna stick one of them things in my kid so I always know where she is.
George Sr.: So you're gonna keep track of your daughter like she's an animal.
George Jr.: Damn straight.
George Sr.: Actually a really good idea.

George Jr.: You know what else is nice?
George Sr.: Hmm?
George Jr.: I get to learn from all your parenting mistakes.
George Sr.: I'm starting to think letting you live this long was one of 'em.
George Jr.: Like that. I'd never say something so awful to my kid. [George scoffs] Thanks, big guy.

George Sr.: So we're on the same page, when she does show up, I'm gonna kill her.
Mary: You're gonna have to beat me to it.
George Sr.: Not saying I love her the most, but if anything happened to Missy...
Mary: She is your little girl.
George Sr.: Not so little anymore.
Mary: Hmm.
George Sr.: And I hate it.

Mary: Well, pretty soon, you're gonna have a granddaughter. Start all over again. [chuckles]
George Sr.: You know, I had an idea. I'm gonna put a tracker on her, like they do with dolphins.
Mary: You're making that up.
George Sr.: No, it's true. Yeah, wherever she goes... Timbuktu, doesn't matter... We're there.

Missy: I'm home! [enters] Hey.
Mary: Hey to you. How was Heather's?
Missy: Uh, fun. Pizza, movies... The usual. You look tired.
George Sr.: I didn't sleep too well.
Missy: Oh. Sorry. Well, I'm gonna go to my room. [exits]
Mary: What happened to killing her?
George Sr.: I'll get to it. [door closes] Just so relieved she's okay. [drinks coffee] Okay, I'm good. Missy!
Mary: Wait for me!

Brenda Sparks: Well, I, I guess I'm gonna go.
George Sr.: Come on, stay. Keep me company.
Brenda Sparks: Fine. Remember the last time we were here?
George Sr.: You mean the night you gave me a heart attack?
Brenda Sparks: [giggles] Stop it. I did not give you a heart attack.
George Sr.: You gave me something.
Brenda Sparks: Well... Oh, hey, Mary.

George Sr.: What is he doing here?
Mary: He's a pastor, and he wanted to be here.
George Sr.: I mean what is he doing here with you?
Mary: He asked me for some advice, so we had lunch.
George Sr.: So that's why no one could find you for hours.
Mary: Are you accusing me of something?
George Sr.: Is there something to accuse you of?
Pastor Rob: Hey, today's the day of miracles. Do you really want to be fighting?
George Sr.: Stay out of this.
Mary: We didn't do anything wrong.
Brenda Sparks: I think I'm gonna head out.
George Sr.: No, he's staying, you're staying.
Mary: What does that mean?
George Sr.: Nothing, just... Nothing.
Mary: What's going on with you two?
George Sr.: [scoffs] What's going on with you two?

George Sr.: [laughs] Oh. We forgot to pick you up one time. Cut the drama.
Missy: One time? You've been forgetting me my entire life. Everything is Sheldon, and now Georgie has a baby, and you two are fighting. [scoffs] Might as well be invisible.
Mary: Not today you're not.
[George chuckles and then turns the radio on. It plays "We are Family" by Sister Sledge. George quickly turns the radio back off.]
George Sr.: Not an appropriate song for this moment.

Mary: Can you believe her?
George Sr.: Well, maybe this wouldn't have happened if you were around.
Mary: Are you really trying to blame this on me?
George Sr.: I'm not the one sleeping across the street. I'm here with our kids.

Mary: So you want to get into this? Let's get into this. What is going on with you and Brenda?
George Sr.: Nothing.
Mary: It doesn't seem like it.
George Sr.: What, you're honestly saying that you don't light up every time Pastor Rob's around?
Mary: Maybe I do. Nothing ever happened. I wouldn't do that.
George Sr.: [scoffs] What, you saying I would?
Mary: You tell me.
George Sr.: I wouldn't.
Mary: But you like being around her. [George sighs] [Mary sighs] [George sighs] What happens now?
George Sr.: I don't know.

Sheldon: You know, there's a more spatially efficient way to do that.
George Sr.: It's good enough.
Sheldon: Is that what you tell your football players?
George Sr.: I make them run laps. That what you want?
Sheldon: You're funny. I like our weekends together.

Mary: How could you not know she was missing?
George Sr.: I thought she was giving me the silent treatment. [Mary sighs] You know, teenage girls.
Officer Rodriguez: I don't.
Sheldon: Moody, moody, moody.
George Sr.: Sheldon.

Mary: I can't believe she would do this. How does she even know how to drive?
[flashback:]
George Sr.: All right, now, take your foot off the brake gently put it on the... [tires screech] [Missy laughs]
[present:]
George Sr.: I bet your mother taught her.

George Sr.: Trust me, Missy's never gonna do anything like this again.
Linda: Aw, bless your heart.
George Sr.: I'm serious. School and home, that's it. No TV, no friends, no shoes. Let's see her run away barefoot.
Mary: That's your plan? Make her hate us even more?
George Sr.: I'm not trying to be her friend, Mary. I'm trying to be her parent.
Mary: What do you think I'm trying to be?
George Sr.: Oh, I don't know. Her neighbor?

George Sr.: I'm just saying, I have a good relationship with Missy. Yeah, I taught her how to throw a ball. Taught her how to drive.
Mary: You taught her how to drive?
George Sr.: Oh, uh... You know, just the basics in- in a parking lot. Hey, she made it all the way to Louisiana without getting into an accident. I think I did a pretty good job.
Mary: Unbelievable.

Linda: If y'all want, I can recommend the marriage counselor me and Barry used. [George snorts] What's... [snorts]?
George Sr.: Y'all got divorced. [chuckles] How good can he be?
Linda: Well, she... [George snorts]
Mary: Stop with the... [snorts]
George Sr.: Oh, like she's not gonna be on your side?
Linda: It's not about sides. She helped us realize we were staying in our marriage for the wrong reasons and it would be better for everyone if we split.
Mary: I'm not sure it was better for Paige.
Linda: Paige's issues have nothing to do with our divorce.
Mary: Sure.
George Sr.: [chuckles] How much she have to pay the counselor to tell her that?
Linda: [sighs] At least my daughter didn't steal my truck, and none of my kids are having babies.
George Sr.: Okay, we all have our stuff. [Linda snorts]

George Sr.: Will you excuse me? I have to go take a cold shower.

Mary: I even did some marriage counseling for a couple of young newlyweds.
George Sr.: Ooh, what kind of trouble they having?
Mary: Oh, it's all confidential; I really can't say.
George Sr.: Well, I don't need specifics, just, you know, general terms.
Mary: They're having sexual problems.
George Sr.: Really? Newlyweds?
Mary: But we all prayed on it and then the answer came clear as a bell.
George Sr.: Yeah?
Mary: The husband is under a lot of stress at work and it's diminishing his natural desires.
George Sr.: Huh. What kind of work does he do he's got so much stress?
Mary: He owns that flower shop across from the post office.
George Sr.: Flower shop. Huh.
Mary: You've seen it. It's called The Pretty Petunia.
George Sr.: Huh.

Mary: Anyway, I am gonna be extra busy, so I'm gonna need you to pick up the slack around here. You know? The kids. Making meals.
George Sr.: Sounds good. Wait, what?
Mary: I need you to help out.
George Sr.: So, Pastor Jeff wants to get lucky, and I pay the price?
Mary: I am asking you to take care of your children.
George Sr.: And I'm asking you, why can't your mother do it?
Mary: George.
George Sr.: Fine.

George Sr.: I was hoping in college you wouldn't get called to the principal's office anymore.
Sheldon: She's not the principal. She's the president.
George Sr.: So if you're in trouble, you're in big trouble.
Sheldon: That's a fun way to look at it.