George: What is he doing here?
Mary: He's a pastor, and he wanted to be here.
George: I mean what is he doing here with you?
Mary: He asked me for some advice, so we had lunch.
George: So that's why no one could find you for hours.
Mary: Are you accusing me of something?
George: Is there something to accuse you of?
Pastor Rob: Hey, today's the day of miracles. Do you really want to be fighting?
George: Stay out of this.
Mary: We didn't do anything wrong.
Brenda Sparks: I think I'm gonna head out.
George: No, he's staying, you're staying.
Mary: What does that mean?
George: Nothing, just... Nothing.
Mary: What's going on with you two?
George: [scoffs] What's going on with you two?

George: And Sheldon's fine. You know what he's like. If someone took him, I'm sure they'll bring him right back.

Sheldon: There's going to be a lecture on carbon dating at the Natural Science Museum on Saturday. Who would like to take me?
George: You know what? I'd be happy to.
Meemaw: What happened to helping me at my yard sale?
George: Ooh, is that this Saturday? I'm sorry. I'm taking him to a lecture on, uh what is it? Carbonation?
Sheldon: Carbon dating. A method of determining the age of artifacts and fossils.
George: Hey, we could use that to figure out how old your grandma is.
Sheldon: That won't work. You can't carbon-date something that's alive.
George: Well, then, we'll just chop her down and count the rings.
Meemaw: Oh, George, did my "lump of clay" remark strike a nerve?
George: A little.

Georgie: A bill? Really?
George: Room and board, buddy.
Georgie: $50 a month for food?
George: The way you eat, I should've gone $50 a week.
Georgie: Laundry services?
George: Your poor mother has to touch your underwear.
Georgie: What's the $10 a month "peema" charge?
George: Oh, P-I-M-A, that's a "Pain in My Ass" tax. My way of getting compensated for you taking years off my life.

Sheldon: All right, let's do this.
Mandy: Why are you wearing dish gloves?
Sheldon: To deliver the baby.
Mandy: That is not happening.
Sheldon: Good. Whew. Can I get a glass of water?
Mandy: Sheldon, I need to go to the hospital.
Sheldon: Well, I can't drive. I do have a bike, but you'll never fit in the wagon.

Sheldon: You know, in a way, you and I are having a very similar day.
Mandy: Really? How might that be?
Sheldon: I'm also bringing something new into the world. Although mine does not involve my privates being inspected my strangers.

Sheldon: Mrs. Sparks, I need your help.
Brenda Sparks: What's with the gloves?
Sheldon: So I don't get placenta on my hands.
Brenda Sparks: What? [Sheldon nods]