Mary: I can't believe she would do this. How does she even know how to drive?
[flashback:]
George: All right, now, take your foot off the brake gently put it on the... [tires screech] [Missy laughs]
[present:]
George: I bet your mother taught her.

Mary: So he's really good to graduate?
Principal Petersen: He sure is. I got to tell ya, usually when kids leave school after two years, it's not for college. It's for prison or pregnancy.
George: Well, between Georgie and Missy, we may hit the trifecta.
Mary: George!
George: Well, I'm not rooting for it. It's just a thing that could happen.

Georgie: You know what else is nice?
George: Hmm?
Georgie: I get to learn from all your parenting mistakes.
George: I'm starting to think letting you live this long was one of 'em.
Georgie: Like that. I'd never say something so awful to my kid. [George scoffs] Thanks, big guy.

Georgie: A bill? Really?
George: Room and board, buddy.
Georgie: $50 a month for food?
George: The way you eat, I should've gone $50 a week.
Georgie: Laundry services?
George: Your poor mother has to touch your underwear.
Georgie: What's the $10 a month "peema" charge?
George: Oh, P-I-M-A, that's a "Pain in My Ass" tax. My way of getting compensated for you taking years off my life.

Paige: Hey, can I drive?
Missy: Better not. My dad'll be pretty mad if something happens to his truck.
Paige: Like what, if somebody stole it?
Missy: Oh, my God, I'm a criminal.
Paige: Yeah. It's pretty cool, right?
Missy: I'm gonna be in so much trouble.
Paige: Only if you go back.
Missy: I guess you're right.

Paige: [answers phone] Hello?
Missy: Hey, it's Missy. I stole my dad's truck, I'm running away. Want to come?
Paige: You're running away? Sounds dangerous.
Missy: Oh, um... well, my dad taught me how to drive and...
Paige: I'm messing with you. Come and get me.

Paige: Think your parents are freaking out?
Missy: Probably having a party. And then Sheldon will complain about them having a party, and they'll stop because he gets everything he wants.
Paige: I know. Try being the golden child. Everybody's always expecting big things from you 'cause you're a genius.
Missy: What do you want to do?
Paige: I don't know. Something simple, easy. You know, I heard there's a place in Florida where you can get a job as a mermaid.
Missy: Really?
Paige: Really.
Missy: Don't get mad at me, but you are a genius.
Paige: Just don't tell the other mermaids.