Sheldon: I'm ready to go to college.
Mrs. Costello: Okay. Where you thinking?
Sheldon: Somewhere with a good science program, but far enough away to make my mom cry herself to sleep every night that I'm gone.
Mrs. Costello: You're applying to college out of spite?
Sheldon: I see why you're the guidance counselor.

Sheldon: "Brave adventurer, prepare to enter a world beyond your imagination. Where the only sound you'll hear is your own heart pounding as you race through the dark woods." This sounds terrifying.
Meemaw: Really? You don't even want to try it?
Sheldon: Honestly, I'd have more fun with the Crock-Pot.

Sheldon: That boy has an exposed tattoo.
Mary: He does.
Sheldon: I wonder if he knows that's in violation of the dress code.

Sheldon: Ugh. I'm coming with you.
Georgie: Why are you wearin' my helmet?
Sheldon: I don't expect this to end well.
Georgie: And the pillows?
Sheldon: Same answer.

Mr. Givens: I have a special treat for y'all today. My dear friend and former college roommate is here from the Johnson Space Center in Houston to talk to us about our space program. And yeah, I know what you're thinking. These guys were roomies. How does one go on to be a-a fancy scientist at NASA, and the other's teaching freshman science at a public high school? Yeah, Sheldon?
Sheldon: I was thinking that.
Mr. Givens: Thank you.

[After Sheldon catches a fish]
Sheldon: Get it away, get it away!
George: Calm down, it's an itty-bitty thing.
Sheldon: No, I'm an itty-bitty thing!

[Sheldon, George Sr. and Georgie in a tent]
Sheldon: Moth! Moth!
George: Sheldon, it's just a butterfly.
Sheldon: How is that any better? Butterfly, butterfly!

Ms. Ingram: And so the square of sine plus cosine equals one. Sheldon.
Sheldon: I don't want to embarrass you, so I'm going to give you a moment to think about what you just said.

Sheldon: What's wrong with them?
Mary: What are you talking about?
Sheldon: They're so quiet. Are they on medication?
Mary: No, they're just smart like you.
Sheldon: I've been going to school in a zoo.

Mary: Flora, I have to ask about the living arrangements. That's our main concern.
Flora: Well, I think I can reassure you about that. My husband and I have been hosting a student for the last several years who recently graduated and is now at Princeton. So we have a guest room available in our home.
George: That's very generous of you. Does your husband work at the school also?
Flora: No, he's retired. He was an astrophysicist for NASA.
Sheldon: Please tell me you don't have a dog.
Flora: No, we're both allergic.
Sheldon: I'm tingling.

Libby: What do you want?
Sheldon: Would you like to have lunch with me and my friend?
Libby: Why?
Sheldon: Why else? So we can have a spirited conversation about geostatistics.
Libby: You really are as smart as everybody says.
Sheldon: My teeth are small, but my prefrontal cortex is enormous.

Libby: Do you know what you're going to major in in college?
Sheldon: I'm leaning towards quantum chromodynamics, but who knows? A few years ago, I would've said choo-choo trains.

Mary: So how was school today?
Georgie: Sheldon's got a girlfriend.
Missy: What?
Sheldon: That's not true.
Georgie: Oh, yes, it is. I seen him talking to her at school.
Meemaw: Sheldon Lee Cooper, you dog.
George: Is she cute?
Sheldon: Compared to what?

Mary: What grade is she in?
Sheldon: Eleventh.
George: An older woman. Nice.
Sheldon: Most everybody's older than me. Why is that nice?

Meemaw: Hey! Looking sharp. You're not gonna try to sell me a set of knives, are you?
Sheldon: No.
Meemaw: It's a joke. 'Cause of the suit.
Sheldon: Okay.