Sheldon: I know a way for you to watch whatever you want.
Missy: How?
Sheldon: Your imagination.
Missy: That's stupid.
Sheldon: Did you know there's a German folk song about it?
Missy: Don't.
Sheldon: [sings] ♪ My thoughts will not cater ♪ ♪ To duke or dictator ♪ ♪ No man can deny ♪ ♪ Die gedanken sind frei. ♪ [talks] Where are you going?
Missy: Mom said no music.
Sheldon: [hums melody]

Sheldon: Well, it starts off with Kelly working out on an exercise machine.
Missy: Oh, she's dating Dylan, who was dating her best friend.
Sheldon: Mm-hmm. She gets sweatier and sweatier, which I'm assuming is because of the exercise, although it could be the weather. Los Angeles is the land of sun and fun.
Missy: Did she look upset?
Sheldon: Hard to say. She looked sweaty.

Missy: What happens next?
Sheldon: Well, then she and her brother, David, get into a very heated argument over a banana.
Missy: That doesn't sound right.
Sheldon: Well, in the next scene at school, everyone gets quiet when Kelly walks up. I'm assuming it's because of the banana tiff.
Missy: There's no way the episode was about a banana.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, did you watch it?
Missy: What else happened?
Sheldon: Oh, they're also planning Kelly a surprise birthday party.
Missy: Well, that's why they got quiet. How could you not get that?
Sheldon: Well, no one said it out loud.

Missy: You have to pay attention to how they're acting. Their faces and body language.
Sheldon: You mean for subtext?
Missy: Yeah, subtext.
Sheldon: I hate subtext, I prefer text.
Missy: Then just listen to the music. If it's sad, they're sad. It's happy, they're happy.
Sheldon: Interesting. So the music's like a cheat sheet to help read social cues?
Missy: Exactly.
Sheldon: Look at that, spring break and I'm still learning.

George: What you watching?
Sheldon: Beverly Hills 90210.
George: Isn't that Missy's show?
Sheldon: Yes, I'm trying to do a better job of picking up on the characters' emotional states. So, for example, this scene seems like it's about expired food, but thanks to the ominous music, I can tell it's about Kelly's eating disorder. Give it a try.
George: Well, let's see. Uh... That one's upset 'cause he's 30 years old and still in high school.
Sheldon: That's what I thought, too, but it turns out his father recently died in a car explosion.
George: Oh. Well, I can see why that would make him sad.
Sheldon: Hold on. [score playing on TV] Sad music, yep. You're good at this.

Mary: Let me ask you something.
Sheldon: Answers are my thing. Go for it.
Mary: Do you really believe in all this space alien stuff?
Sheldon: Well, it's simple probability theory. There are over a hundred billion stars in our galaxy. So it's likely that a few of them could support life, or even technological civilization.
Mary: And did Jesus die for their sins as well?
Sheldon: You have your stories, I have mine.

Sheldon: How can you just dismiss a line of inquiry out of hand?
Dr. Linkletter: Sheldon, sometimes I say no just for kicks. This time it's for your own good. Scientists who pursue little green men get laughed at.
Sheldon: Well, I care about science, not my reputation. And if you're not willing to help me, I know someone who is.
[cut to:]
Dr. John Sturgis: We'll be mocked by physicists, engineers, even mathematicians. And they don't just say you're an idiot... they prove it.
Sheldon: And if I had fruit on my head, I'd be Carmen Miranda.
Dr. John Sturgis: What?
Sheldon: I didn't understand it either.

Sheldon: Hold on, should I be trying to beef up my grad school applications?
Dr. John Sturgis: The competition is fierce. It takes a lot to stand out.
Sheldon: You're my advisors, why didn't you advise me of this?
[flashback:]
Dr. John Sturgis: Sheldon, if I could offer you some advice...
Sheldon: No thank you.
[flashback:]
Dr. Linkletter: Sheldon, I have a recommendation for you.
Sheldon: I have one for you. Trim your nose hair.
[present:]
Dr. Linkletter: Do you remember that?
Sheldon: I do. It looked like a spider was living up there.

Sheldon: [on the phone] Yes, is this the Columbia summer science honors program? Excellent. My name is Sheldon Cooper, perhaps you've heard of me. Well, now you have. Anyways, it's recently come to my attention that you could be an important step in my career advancement. So, good news, I'm available. Yes, I understand I've missed the deadline, but I'm sure you can make an exception. [emotional] But I'm Sheldon Cooper.

Sheldon: And apparently Doctors Linkletter and Sturgis were aware that I already should have been focusing on my applications.
Mary: And they didn't say anything to you?
Sheldon: Well, they did, but I don't come off well in that story.

Mary: Shelly, you want some mashed potatoes?
Sheldon: See, there you go again, bringing the mashed potatoes to me when I should be going to the mashed potatoes.
Mary: Fine.
George: What's goin' on?
Sheldon: Years of coddling have made me complacent, and now it may cost me my chance to get into grad school at Caltech.
George: I've been sayin' that since you were born.
Sheldon: And yet you did nothing to stop her?

Sheldon: Well, I need to do something to stand out.
Dr. John Sturgis: I think you're putting too much pressure on this summer program. You can apply next year.
Sheldon: I can't wait a whole nother year. I'll fall even further behind. And then when I'm applying to Columbia, Sam will be using her letter of recommendation to get into Caltech, and then when I apply to Caltech, they'll say, "Oh, you're from East Texas Tech, too. Well, you must know Sam, she's been here a year longer than you and you'll never catch up."
Dr. John Sturgis: I think you need to calm down.
Sheldon: I can't calm down. I have to keep pushing myself or I'll fall farther and farther behind until I'm a... aging professor in a small university with nothing to show for my work.
Dr. Linkletter: Ouch, I think he's talking about you.
Dr. John Sturgis: I think he's talking about us.
Dr. Linkletter: No.

Sheldon: I brought you some snacks. For Mom, a Bavarian-style pretzel. And for Dad, four Lone Star beers poured into a pitcher to approximate a stein.
George: What do you want?
Sheldon: For starters, a danke wouldn't kill you.
Mary: A what?
Sheldon: It's "thank you" in German. Uh, so, if you were thinking of thanking, then you'd be denken of danken. You're awfully quiet. I assume you're denken.
Mary: W-Where are you going with all this?
Sheldon: If I play my cards right, Germany.

Mary: Sheldon... [sighs] aren't there programs that are closer?
Sheldon: Yes, but I missed my chance to get into any of them. In fact, Dr. Sturgis had to call in a big favor to get this opportunity.
George: Well, that's nice of him, but maybe he should have talked to us first?
Sheldon: Oh, he suggested that.
Mary: And?
Sheldon: I nixed it.
Mary: You nixed it?
Sheldon: From the German nichts. The language lends itself to negativity.

Mary: Well, we're gonna have to talk to Dr. Sturgis before we make any decisions.
George: We're- We're not making any promises.
Mary: Mm-hmm.
George: This is not a yes.
Sheldon: But it's also not a nein, which German for "no", as opposed to the number nine, which is neun.