George: Do you have any idea what our electric bill is?
Sheldon: Yes. I do our taxes. And it's higher than it should be.
George: And why do you think that is?
Sheldon: Well, I don't want to point any fingers, but Missy sleeps with a night-light.

Tam: Your brother looks upset.
Sheldon: Really? I would have guessed hungry.

Sheldon: Mr. Givens, a moment of your time?
Mr. Givens: [SIGHS HEAVILY]
Sheldon: I'm curious about more cost-effective methods of generating electricity.
Mr. Givens: And?
Sheldon: And I came to you. Go.
Mr. Givens: Well, there's fossil fuels, like oil and coal.
Sheldon: Too dirty.
Mr. Givens: Oh. Hydro?
Sheldon: Too wet.
Mr. Givens: Solar?
Sheldon: With this fair skin? Next.
Mr. Givens: Wind?
Sheldon: You know what the problem with wind is. It's too reliant on wind. I think I'm looking for something a little more indoors.
Mr. Givens: How about nuclear power? It's clean and efficient and very safe, until something goes horribly wrong.
Sheldon: That could work.
Mr. Givens: Oh. Goody. Are we done?
Sheldon: Almost. I have one last question about nuclear reactors.
Mr. Givens: What?
Sheldon: How do I build one? Go.
Adult Sheldon: Spoiler alert. He didn't know.

Sheldon: Hello. Is this the studio that makes the Professor Proton show? Excellent. May I speak to him, please? Well, then I'd like to leave him a message.
My name is Sheldon Cooper, and I'm trying to build a nuclear reactor, and I could use his help. My number is 409-356-6049. Thank you. I'm gonna hang up now, because this is long-distance, and my father doesn't make much money. Good-bye.

Dr. John Sturgis: Oh, hello, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Good evening. Do you have any idea where I could obtain radioactive material?
Dr. John Sturgis: That's an interesting question. What do you need it for?
Sheldon: I'm trying to build a small nuclear reactor to provide electricity for my house. And possibly the whole neighborhood, if they're nice to me.
Dr. John Sturgis: Fun.
Sheldon: The problem is, I don't know where to get the necessary radioactive material.
Dr. John Sturgis: Oh. Do you happen to have any unexploded atomic bombs?
Sheldon: Not a one.
Dr. John Sturgis: Shoot. What about an X-ray machine?
Sheldon: Nope.
Dr. John Sturgis: That makes sense. You're just a kid. Oh! I know! Smoke detectors contain trace amounts of americium-241.
Sheldon: Interesting. But I'd need a lot of them, and they're expensive.
Dr. John Sturgis: True. Hey, I bet if you call a few companies and say it's for a school project, you could get them for free.
Sheldon: That's a great idea. Thanks.
Dr. John Sturgis: You're very welcome. What a cute kid.

Billy Sparks: Hey, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Hello, Billy.
Billy Sparks: What you doing?
Sheldon: Building a nuclear reactor.
Billy Sparks: Cool. I'm having Lucky Charms for dinner? What are you gonna do with it when you're done?
Sheldon: Stand in front of the refrigerator as long as I want.

Sheldon: Excuse me, sir. When you're done urinating, I'd like to ask you some questions about social dynamics, intimidation, threats, et cetera. Finish up, no hurry.

Sheldon: Good news, I just spoke to Tommy Clarkson.
Georgie: What? Are you crazy?
Sheldon: Nope, Mom had me tested.

Ms. Hutchins: Sheldon, why aren't you in second period?
Sheldon: I'm working on this math problem.
Ms. Hutchins: I think you might be the first person in history who's ever cut class to do math.
Sheldon: The irony wasn't lost on me.

Sheldon: Okay, subject "A," jelly. That's definitely strawberry and definitely Smuckers. Subject "B." That's Jif all right. Creamy and delicious.
Tam: It must be the bread.
Sheldon: Hold on. This is a scientific experiment. We can't make assumptions. Subject "C." It's the bread.

Sheldon: No, we have to wait for Channel 7 news.
Meemaw: Channel 7?
Sheldon: Yes. I called them this morning and told them there was a human interest story at the supermarket.
Meemaw: What story?
Sheldon: Classic Americana. Little guy versus corporate greed.

Meemaw: Honey, Channel 7 is not coming.
Anchor: [HORN HONKS] You Sheldon Cooper?
Sheldon: Yes, ma'am.
Meemaw: You got to be kidding me.
Sheldon: How's my hair look?

Sheldon: I was shocked to learn that the Happy Hearth Home Bakeries had been bought out by the Domestic Food Corporation, and they started making their bread faster and cheaper.
Anchor: And you don't like that, do you?
Sheldon: No.
Anchor: And you're collecting signatures to make them stop.
Sheldon: I am. Corporations shouldn't be allowed to make these decisions on their own.
Anchor: Well, who should?
Sheldon: The people who eat the bread. This wouldn't happen if there were centralized control over all these big corporations.
Anchor: Are you suggesting a communist form of government in Texas?
Sheldon: I suppose I am.
Meemaw: Hang on a sec-
Anchor: There you have it. Local boy Sheldon Cooper says communism is what Texas needs.
George: Oh, dear God.

Mary: Calm down. It was just the 4:00 news. I'm sure no one saw it.
Sheldon: I hope a lot of people saw it and Happy Hearth is forced to give our country good bread again.

Sheldon: Well, have a great day, Georgie.
Georgie: A great day? Are you out of your mind? Our lives are over.
Sheldon: Well, you'll never have a great day with that attitude.