Dr. John Sturgis: Oh, hello, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Good evening. Do you have any idea where I could obtain radioactive material?
Dr. John Sturgis: That's an interesting question. What do you need it for?
Sheldon: I'm trying to build a small nuclear reactor to provide electricity for my house. And possibly the whole neighborhood, if they're nice to me.
Dr. John Sturgis: Fun.
Sheldon: The problem is, I don't know where to get the necessary radioactive material.
Dr. John Sturgis: Oh. Do you happen to have any unexploded atomic bombs?
Sheldon: Not a one.
Dr. John Sturgis: Shoot. What about an X-ray machine?
Sheldon: Nope.
Dr. John Sturgis: That makes sense. You're just a kid. Oh! I know! Smoke detectors contain trace amounts of americium-241.
Sheldon: Interesting. But I'd need a lot of them, and they're expensive.
Dr. John Sturgis: True. Hey, I bet if you call a few companies and say it's for a school project, you could get them for free.
Sheldon: That's a great idea. Thanks.
Dr. John Sturgis: You're very welcome. What a cute kid.

Mary: Let's say grace.
Sheldon: Hang on, safety first. [puts mittens on]
George Jr.: When are you gonna get over that?
Sheldon: I would think recent events would make you value protection.
Mary: Enough.

Ms. MacElroy: Now, can anyone tell me why Melville shifts the narrative voice from Ishmael to Ahab? [Ms. MacElroy waits for somebody else to raise their hand] Sheldon.
Sheldon: I have a tummyache. I'd like to see the nurse.
Derek: A "tummyache"?
Sheldon: Yes, Derek, I have a tummy and it aches. Ergo, tummyache.
Derek: Ergo?
Sheldon: It's Latin, Derek.
Ms. MacElroy: Go to the nurse.
Sheldon: And to answer your question, the shifting point of view grants the reader a broader perspective of events than typically allowed by first-person narration.
Ms. MacElroy: Where were we?
Sheldon: And "ergo" is Latin for "hence," Derek.

Missy: What's it like to not believe in God?
Sheldon: It's great. Big fan.
Missy: Are you ever afraid you're wrong?
Sheldon: About religion? Never. About other things? Also never.

Dr. John Sturgis: Connie, I believe I have answers to all your questions.
Meemaw: Lay it on me.
Dr. John Sturgis: Time: the event begins at 6:00 p.m. The dress code is: business attire. Dinner will be served, but it's been suggested that we eat first, because the food is dreadful.
Meemaw: Good to know.
Dr. John Sturgis: And last but not least, a camelid is any member of the camelidae family, such as llamas, alpacas or vicuñas. You didn't ask that one, but, uh, it seemed like something you should know.

Sheldon: Why are you eating cereal for dinner?
Billy Sparks: I was hungry, and my parents are in their bedroom kissing.

George Sr.: Do you have any idea what our electric bill is?
Sheldon: Yes. I do our taxes. And it's higher than it should be.
George Sr.: And why do you think that is?
Sheldon: Well, I don't want to point any fingers, but Missy sleeps with a night-light.