Sheldon: I'm glad we're no longer in trouble for almost burning the school down.
Meemaw: Ooh. Let's talk about that.

Sam: Can I at least switch groups?
Dr. John Sturgis: Sorry. I assigned this project because it's important for scientists to learn how to collaborate.
Sheldon: If we must work together, here's my proposal. I do everything by myself and put their names on it.
Dr. John Sturgis: No.

Keith: I think we can explain the additional electrons if we assume the barrier has a slope to it.
Sheldon: That won't work.
Sam: Okay, well, what if the electrons are a product of-
Sheldon: We need to consider that the electrons are actually moving backwards in time.
Keith: No, that math's gonna take forever. Let's just do it my way. Can you write on the board? You probably have the best handwriting.
Sam: Why? Because I'm a girl?
Sheldon: I'm sure it's better than mine. I only learned to write six years ago.

Keith: All right, something's not working out here.
Sheldon: Perhaps it's the way you're pacing. Pick a number of steps and stick to it.

Mary: So how's it going?
Sheldon: Great. Now that those two are gone, I can finally get some work done.

Adult Sheldon: Somehow, my parents calmed everyone down and got us back on track. We listened to each other's thoughts, and we worked as a team for almost four whole minutes.
Keith: All right, that doesn't make any sense.
Sheldon: Because you don't understand it.
Sam: It makes total sense, Keith.
Sheldon: [o.s.] Please, just take your underpants and go.

Adult Sheldon: In the early days of the Internet, you couldn't stream movies or summon Thai food to your doorstep. But if you were interested in text-based news about upcoming physics lectures, it was a great time to be alive.
Sheldon: Holy moly.

Sheldon: [knocking on bathroom door] Dad. Dad!
George Sr.: [o.s] I'm in the shower!
Sheldon: It's an emergency.
George Sr.: [o.s.] Fine! Come in.
Sheldon: [knocking on shower door] Dad?
George Sr.: I thought you had to use the bathroom.
Sheldon: At 7:23 in the morning? Why do I print out schedules if you're not going to read them?

George Sr.: Tell me what you want.
Sheldon: What are we doing next weekend?
George Sr.: This ain't sounding like an emergency.
Sheldon: It is. Stephen Hawking is giving a lecture, and I really need to go.
George Sr.: Can we talk about this when I'm out of the shower?
Sheldon: Pick up the pace. According to the schedule that you don't read, I'm due in there in six minutes.

George Sr.: There's no way we're going to California.
Sheldon: If Stephen Hawking can make it there in a wheelchair, I'm sure we can manage.
George Sr.: Sheldon, airplane tickets are expensive. Hotels are expensive. We can't afford it.
Sheldon: But his health is fragile. This might be my only chance to ever see him in person.
George Sr.: I'm sorry, buddy.
Sheldon: I would like to discuss this further, but I only have 22 seconds to be in the shower, and buttons slow me down.

Mary: Let me get a picture of my boys before their big trip.
Sheldon: It's smart to document this. Next time you see me, I'll have been in the presence of Stephen Hawking.
Mary: Smile.
Sheldon: I'd prefer to look serious. This may appear in a textbook someday.
Mary: Say, "Stephen Hawking."
Both: Stephen Hawking.
Sheldon: Aw, you made me smile.

George Sr.: All right, 34A and B this is us. All right, you want the aisle or the window?
Sheldon: Which one is assigned to me?
George Sr.: It doesn't matter, just pick one.
Sheldon: Well, if I sit by the window, I can watch the takeoff and landing, but if I sit on the aisle, I'm closer to the bathroom.
George Sr.: Here we go.
Sheldon: Although if I'm by the window, you'll have to get up when I use the bathroom. But if I'm not, I'll have to get up when you use the bathroom. Just pick one.
Sheldon: It's a tricky decision. My bladder's smaller than yours-
Meredith: Everything okay here?
George Sr.: About to be. [picks up Sheldon and puts him in a seat] Here! Aisle it is! We're good.

Meredith: Take a minute to locate the exit closest to you. The nearest exit could be behind you. Should the cabin experience sudden pressure loss, oxygen masks will drop down from above your seat...
Sheldon: Why would the cabin lose pressure?
George Sr.: It won't.
Meredith: Place the mask over your mouth and nose, like this, pull the strap to tighten it. If you are traveling with children, make sure that your own mask is on first before helping your child.
Sheldon: I don't like this at all.
George Sr.: It's just a precaution. You know perfectly safe.
Meredith: In the unlikely event of a water landing and evacuation. [echoes] Water landing, water landing, water landing.
Sheldon: I can't do this.

George Sr.: You okay, Mr. Spock?
Sheldon: Doing my best, sir. The captain and Mr. Spock don't hold hands.
George Sr.: Sorry.
Sheldon: Okay, maybe just this once.

Sheldon: Dr. Sturgis?
Dr. John Sturgis: Hello, Sheldon. What brings you here?
Sheldon: You never showed up to class.
Dr. John Sturgis: Whoops. Time flies when you're having fun.
Sheldon: What could be more fun than giving a physics lecture?
Dr. John Sturgis: Finishing a physics paper.
Sheldon: Ooh, I like where this is headed.

Sheldon: Ooh. He's opening with a critical examination of the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics.
Meemaw: I thought reading in the car made you nauseous.
Sheldon: That's in the back seat. Up here I'm fine. [retches]
Meemaw: Oh, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Sorry.
Meemaw: Well, don't just keep reading!
Sheldon: [retches]

Sheldon: [on the phone] Anyway, I was just calling to let you know I read your paper.
Dr. John Sturgis: Wonderful. What did you think?
Sheldon: I thought your typing was very tidy. Your sentence structure was impressive. And your theory was... not without succeeding in avoiding success.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, Sheldon, uh, you don't need to beat around the bush. We're men of science. Uh, just give it to me straight.
Sheldon: The masses for your neutrinos are impossible.
Dr. John Sturgis: Are you sure?
Sheldon: Yes. If they were that heavy, atoms could not beta decay.
Dr. John Sturgis: I don't know how I missed that. I'm such an idiot.
Sheldon: You're not an idiot. You're just a bonehead.

Dr. Linkletter: [on the phone] Look, I haven't done a forensic examination of this paper, but it's not uncommon to show your work to a colleague to get their feedback.
Sheldon: But I fixed his paper.
Dr. Linkletter: This kind of accusation could have real consequences. I'd consider my next steps very carefully.
Sheldon: You're no help. Put me through to your supervisor.
Dr. Linkletter: Please let me speak to John before you take this any further.
Sheldon: All right, but if he calls me a baby, feel free to say, "Then I guess you needed a baby to fix your paper."
Dr. Linkletter: That's a good one, but I'm not gonna say it.

Mary: What I meant was... maybe it's time to take a break from your college classes.
Sheldon: What? Why? I've gotten straight As.
Mary: I know you're smart enough for college. I'm just not sure you're mature enough.
Sheldon: Well, it appears you've backed me into a corner. I would throw a tantrum right now, but that would just prove your point.
Mary: Where are you going?
Sheldon: To play with my trains. Which may sound immature, but it's a hobby many old men enjoy.

George Sr.: It's time for your pain pill.
Sheldon: Be careful. You could become addicted and lose your job. Which is all you have.
George Sr.: [sighs] Get out of here.