Missy: Can I talk to you?
George Sr.: Of course. What's up?
Missy: I feel really bad about the other day. I was so mean to you.
George Sr.: Don't worry about it.
Missy: But you were just trying to help and then I yelled at you and then you had a heart attack.
George Sr.: [stammers] That had nothing to do with you.
Missy: [crying] We don't know that.
George Sr.: Hey. Hey-hey. Come here. [Missy sniffles] [George chuckles and sighs]
Missy: I'm so sorry.
George Sr.: Shh. [Missy sniffles]

Missy: And now I'm gonna need a new notebook, 'cause mine has "Missy and Marcus forever" written all over it. [Sheldon snores]

Sheldon: You like boys, and you're half an inch taller than me now.
Missy: It's called growing up.
Sheldon: Well, I don't like it.
Missy: Trust me, 20 years from now you're not gonna be sitting around, talking about Star Trek and reading comic books.
Sheldon: Would you like to bet on that?
Missy: A dollar.
Sheldon: Hmm. [they pinky swear]
Adult Sheldon: [v.o.] She still hasn't paid me. And guess who's wearing Star Trek underpants right now.

Missy: I was listening to that.
George Sr.: Thought you might want to talk.
Missy: That's why the door was shut and the music was loud... 'cause I want to talk.
George Sr.: Okay. Okay. [clears throat] If this is about a boy, I know it feels like the end of the world, but I promise you're gonna have other boyfriends.
Missy: I don't want other boyfriends. I want Marcus.
George Sr.: Well, you feel that way now, but you're only 11.
Missy: So my feelings don't matter?
George Sr.: Uh... Hey, how about we go get some ice cream?
Missy: I'm not a child.
George Sr.: Just trying to help.
Missy: Leave me alone!
[As Missy turns over and puts her head under a pillow, George stands up and turns Missy's boombox back on]

Dr. John Sturgis: Well, it's so wonderful to see you all. Thank you for having me.
Sheldon: It's great to see you, too.
Dr. John Sturgis: And, Mary, I believe I recognize these tater tots from when I packed them in your bag.
Missy: [to Mary] You're killing me.

Meemaw: I just hate to see him give up like this.
Missy: Who you talking about?
Meemaw: Dr. Sturgis.
Missy: What'd he give up?
Meemaw: Science. He's working at a grocery store.
Missy: At least he didn't give up being weird.
Mary: He is also coming over for dinner, so behave yourself.
Missy: I can behave at school or I can behave at home. I can't do both.

Sheldon: I can't believe they would fire you just for mentioning a theory about black holes.
Dr. John Sturgis: It's just as well. It was time this old horse was put out to pasture.
Mary: Don't say that. You're not old.
Missy: He's not?
Mary: No.
Missy: But look at his bald head.
Mary: Eat your peas.

Missy: Okay, here we go. "Is it a crush? Take this juicy quiz and find out. Do you think about them when they're not around?"
Sheldon: Lately, yes.
Missy: "Are you jealous when other people give them attention?"
Sheldon: I suppose I am.
Missy: "Do you get nervous when you're around them?"
Sheldon: How could I not? Last time she punched me, in the face.
Missy: That was so great. "Do you talk about them all the time?" That's a big fat yes. "Do you dream about them?"
Sheldon: Oh, dear. Just last night I had a nightmare that she solved the Einstein field equations ahead of me.
Missy: That's five out of five. "You're crushing harder than Zack on Kelly Kapowski."
Sheldon: Uh, what does that mean?
Missy: Trust me, that's a big deal.

Missy: Ooh, maybe you have a crush on her.
Sheldon: That's ridiculous.
Missy: I don't know.
Sheldon: I don't.
Missy: You care what she thinks, you can't stop talking about her.
Sheldon: I don't have a crush on her!
Missy: Are you sure?
Sheldon: I don't know!

Mary: Okay, have a great day. Love you.
Missy: [covers mouth] Love you, too.
Mary: What are you doing?
Missy: I learned it in baseball. When you don't want the other team to see what you're saying.
Mary: It's okay to love your mom.
Missy: At home. Here, you get the hand.

Missy: Can I ask a relationship question?
Jana: Of course.
Missy: Who said "I love you" first?
Jana: Funny you should ask.

Mary: Hey, how has Billy been lately?
Missy: I don't know.
Mary: Aren't you friends?
Missy: We're like "head nod in the hallway" friends.
Mary: What's that?
Missy: You see someone in the hallway, you give 'em one of these. [nods head]

Mary: Why are you readin' the Bible?
Missy: I felt bad about last night, so I thought it might be good for me.
Mary: Where are you going with this?
Missy: Nowhere, I just want to make you happy.
Mary: Uh-huh.
Missy: "And the man increased exceedingly, and had much cattle, and maidservants, and menservants, and camels, and asses."
Mary: Okay. Stop.
Missy: What? I'm just reading from Genesis.
Mary: Well, cut it out.
Missy: Fine. Let's try Exodus. "And on the seventh day thou shalt rest: that thine ox and thine ass may rest."
Mary: That is it, you are grounded.
Missy: For reading the Bible?
Mary: The way you are doing it, yes. Go to your room.
Missy: Okay. I don't have a donkey. But if I did, I'd take my ass out of here.

Missy: Why didn't you eat with us?
Sheldon: I'm not hungry. Dad's mad at me.
Missy: Mom's not thrilled with me, either.
Sheldon: Why?
Missy: Mom made chicken, and I said chickens cluck a lot, so they should be called "cluckers." And some chickens are moms, so you could call them "mother..."
Sheldon: I don't care.
Missy: Mom sure did.
Missy: What did you do wrong?
Sheldon: I got Dad in trouble with the IRS. He has to hire an accountant, which could cost us a lot of money.
Missy: Dang, makes me not want to have kids.

Missy: Son of a Mitch.
Mary: Melissa Cooper.
Missy: What? I said "Mitch." There's nothing wrong with that.
Mary: But you meant another word.
Missy: I'm sorry, what other word?
Mary: Just watch it.
Missy: Hold on. So you're saying if I have a friend whose dad's name is Mitch, I'm not allowed to talk about him?
Mary: I know what you're doing.
Missy: Okay, I just feel bad for my friend. That poor son of a Mitch.
Mary: Melissa Cooper.

Missy: And then they crashed into a tree.
Darlene: Oh, no!
Missy: The engine caught fire.
Darlene: My goodness, is everyone okay?
Missy: Thankfully, yes. But I was pretty shook up.
Darlene: Well, don't worry about that test today.
Missy: Thank you for understanding.
Darlene: Mm-hmm.
Missy: Oh, and where are we on homework tonight?
Darlene: Don't push it.
Missy: Right.

Mary: You see Sheldon?
Missy: [points ]That way.
George Sr.: What's going on?
Mary: He's having some sort of panic attack.
Missy: [chuckles] Oh, man. My story just keeps getting better.

Mary: I can't get him in the car.
George Sr.: So what now?
Mary: So he's not going to school.
Missy: You know, on The A-Team, Mr. T is afraid to fly, and they give him special milk to put him to sleep.
George Sr.: Ooh.
Mary: No!
Missy: Aw.

Missy: I can't believe you and Meemaw almost died tonight.
Sheldon: I wouldn't say we almost died.
Missy: Well, that's what I'm saying at school tomorrow.
Sheldon: Why?
Missy: It's called good storytelling.
Sheldon: But it's lying.
Missy: They don't know that.
Sheldon: You weren't even in the car.
Missy: Doesn't matter. Shay McElheney's dad had a kidney stone... she got out of homework for a week.
Sheldon: I can't believe you'd use my traumatic experience to manipulate people.
Missy: Really? I can.
Hey, did the engine catch fire?
Sheldon: No!
Missy: You're in shock. You don't know what happened.

Missy: I think Pastor Jeff and Mrs. Sparks might be talking about Billy.
Mary: What's going on with Billy?
Missy: He's been getting in trouble at school.
Mary: How is that fun?
Missy: It's gossip. Gossip's fun.
Mary: [sighs] Poor thing. Brenda did say he was having trouble adjusting. Maybe I should see if she's doing okay later.
George Sr.: Great idea. [to Missy] I'm not walking, good job.