George Sr.: The university wants to offer me a coaching job if it'll help to get Sheldon to go there full-time.
Mary: Oh. We talked about this. College might be too much for him.
George Sr.: I know. That's why I'd be there, you know, to help him over the rough spots.
Mary: I don't know, George.
George Sr.: Can't hurt to see what the offer is.
Mary: There are more important things than money.
George Sr.: That's cute. You should knit that on a pillow.
Mary: [to herself] Maybe I'll push that pillow over your face.

Brenda Sparks: [on the phone] Listen, I'm just doing you a favor. The other moms on the team are starting to talk.
Mary: Well, maybe the other moms need to mind their own business.
Brenda Sparks: Come on, Mary. Isn't one weird kid in your family enough? You going for a record?
Mary: [hanging up] You're playing baseball.
Missy: But you said it was my decision.
Mary: It is. And you're playing.

Mary: [answering phone] Hello?
Brenda Sparks: I heard your daughter's playing baseball.
Mary: Hey, Brenda.
Brenda Sparks: What were you thinking?
Mary: Excuse me?
Brenda Sparks: My Billy's on that team. Baseball's for boys.
Mary: Says who?
Brenda Sparks: Says everyone. It's not ladylike. [to Billy] Save some pudding for your father!
Billy Sparks: Aw.
Brenda Sparks: Okay, where was I?
Mary: You were telling me what was ladylike and then yelled at your son like a dock foreman.

Meemaw: I need coffee.
Mary: You need a shower.

Dr. John Sturgis: So, uh, how's Connie?
Sheldon: Actually...
Mary: Sheldon, why don't you go save me a seat?
Sheldon: Smart. The front row is a hot ticket.
Mary: Anyway, uh, Mom's good.
Dr. John Sturgis: Because she's usually the one who brings Sheldon.
Mary: Well, she's been pretty busy lately.

Dr. John Sturgis: Well, hello, Sheldon. Hello, Mary. I don't think I've ever seen you here before.
Mary: It's my first time.
Sheldon: I took her on a tour.
Mary: It was extremely thorough.

Mary: Hey, do you want to help me paint these posters?
Sheldon: Not at all. [exits]
Mary: Oh, yeah, people would line up for that dunk tank.

Sheldon: Is it difficult to see your mother go out with men who aren't your father?
Mary: Wow. That's a big one. Um I suppose it took some getting used to, but she's a grown-up, and even though Pop-Pop passed away, she deserves to be happy.
Missy: Just so you know, I'd be happy with one American Girl doll.
Mary: And we're done.

George Jr.: Where's Meemaw?
George Sr.: Not here tonight.
George Jr.: Why?
Sheldon: As I understand it, now that Dr. Sturgis is back from the hospital, he and Meemaw are figuring out how their relationship is going to work.
Missy: What does that mean?
George Jr.: Sounds like she dumped him.
George Sr.: Actually, he's the one-
Mary: Sheldon, didn't you want to talk about science stuff?
Sheldon: Yes.
Mary: Good. Do that right now.

Dr. John Sturgis: Hello!
Mary: Come in.
Dr. John Sturgis: So, uh, Connie is, uh, okay with my being here?
Mary: Don't worry about it or, you know, mention it.

Mary: Just be on your best behavior. And if you're not sure if you should say something, do not say it.

Mary: We need to make sure that Dr. Sturgis feels comfortable.
George Sr.: And how are we supposed to do that?
Mary: For starters, do not bring up his time in the hospital.
Missy: What if he brings it up? You let the grown-ups handle that.
George Sr.: In this scenario, am I one of the grown-ups?
Mary: No.
George Sr.: Great.

Mary: Okay, Dr. Sturgis will be joining us for dinner.
Sheldon: Hot darn.
Missy: That guy's back?
George Jr.: I thought he was in the nut house.
Mary: We do not call it that.
George Jr.: That's what Dad calls it.
Mary: And that's why I made him sit.

Mary: We need to have a talk. Georgie, get in here!
Missy: Are we in trouble?
Mary: No one's in trouble.
George Jr.: What's going on?
George Sr.: Have a seat.
Mary: You're also getting talked to. Sit.

George Sr.: That one had some zip on it.
Missy: Zip's a good thing, right?
George Sr.: Yes.
Missy: So it looks like I know what I'm doing?
George Sr.: Just like a pro.
Missy: But like a lady pro?
George Sr.: Oh, yes. Very much.

Sheldon: Good news. I found a way to take a break from science.
Mary: That's great. What is it?
Sheldon: A fantasy book series called The Lord of the Rings.
Mary: Well, it's got "the Lord" in it. That's something.

Sheldon: I wasn't even aware I was chewing them.
Mary: Baby, I think this math problem you're working on is stressing you out.
Sheldon: It makes sense. Einstein struggled with it for 30 years and never found a solution.
Mary: Maybe if you stop thinking about it, it'll just come to you.
Sheldon: No. I can't stop.
Mary: Sheldon.
Sheldon: If I stop, I'll lose momentum. I'll never solve it. I'll be a failure. My life will be worthless.
Mary: Okay, that's it. You're taking a break from science.
Sheldon: Give me one good reason why I would do that.
Mary: Where is Dr. Sturgis right now?
Sheldon: That's a good reason.

Mary: What's going on with John?
Meemaw: Not much. We write letters back and forth.
Mary: That's romantic.
Meemaw: Romantic if he were off to war, not in a mental hospital.
Mary: Well, he's at war with his inner demons.

Frank: Is it okay to set this down?
Sheldon: I'm a little busy. Could you come back later?
George Sr.: Sheldon, I'm hungry.
George Jr.: Let's just sit over there.
Mary: No. We're gonna eat together as a family.
Sheldon: Instead of electricity, we'll have magnetricity.
Frank: It's getting heavy.
Mary: We'll be right over here if you need us.
George Sr.: Let's go.
Missy: Bye, ladybug.

Mary: I suppose there's a challenging aspect to them.
George Sr.: There you go. See? Feels good to say it out loud, right?
Mary: Maybe a little.
George Sr.: Hey. Think about how clean the house would be if it was just us.
Mary: Oh, my. [chuckling] So, what did they do in the bathroom?