Gerome: Your little boy's a real genius.
Mary: Well, actually he is.

Mary: Now, the thing you have to understand is Shelly is incredibly bright. I mean, his IQ is right up there with Albert Einstein and that English wheelchair fella.

George Sr.: You're actually cutting the crust off before you blend it?
Mary: I left it on his tuna sandwich yesterday, he said he could tell. Only drank half of it.

Mary: Sheldon Lee Cooper, if you don't finish that pork chop, I swear I will chew it up and spit it in your mouth like a mama bird.
Missy: Do it, Mom. Do it.

Mary: I think my husband's having a heart attack!
Nurse Robinson: I need an RRT and a crash cart.
Mary: Over here.
Nurse Robinson: Sir, are you having chest pains right now?
George Sr.: Yeah, a little bit.
Nurse Robinson: Any numbness or pain in your arms?
George Sr.: Maybe this one.
Nurse Robinson: Shortness of breath?
Mary: Enough questions. He's a fat, middle-aged man with chest pains. Do something!

Mary: Hi, Mom. Kids okay?
Meemaw: Yeah, they're fine. How's George?
Mary: I don't know. They're running tests.
Meemaw: Well, don't you worry about us. Everything's under control here.
Mary: Okay. I'll call you when I know more.
Meemaw: How you holdin' up?
Mary: I guess I'm okay.
Meemaw: Well, George is gonna pull through this, honey. I guarantee it.
Mary: Thanks, Mom. Thanks for bein' there.
Meemaw: You bet.

Mary: Can I help you?
FBI Agent #1: Sorry to bother you, ma'am. FBI. We're looking for a Sheldon Lee Cooper.
Mary: George!
George Sr.: I'm on the can.
Mary: Now!

George Sr.: What?
Mary: These gentlemen are with the FBI. They want to talk to Sheldon.
George Sr.: What? Y-You fellas must have made a mistake. Sheldon's nine.
FBI Agent #2: Well, someone living at this address recently called a mining operation in Canada and tried to buy uranium.
Mary: Okay, maybe it's not a mistake.

Mary: He's here! Everybody, stay calm! Just a normal day, just a normal dinner.

Mary: All right, Tam. I decided I was gonna make you a real Texas dinner. Barbecued chicken and brisket.
Tam: Thank you.
Mary: Well, I figured you were probably tired of stuff wiggling around on your plate.

Mary: Okay, let's say grace. Now, Tam, when I say "Jesus," feel free to say the word "Buddha" in your head.
Tam: I'm actually Catholic.
Mary: Oh! Well, that's too bad.

Mary: Thank you, God, for this food, and bless the hands that prepared it. And thank you so much for Sheldon's new friend.

Tam: When he was released, we escaped on a small boat and spent many weeks at sea dodging Cambodian pirates until we reached Thailand.
Mary: Oh, that's supposed to be a beautiful country. Lovely beaches.
Tam: I wouldn't know.

Mary: He made a friend! He did it! Our little boy has got a friend.
George Sr.: Who is it?
Mary: Who cares? It's a human being. It's a warm body.

Sheldon: Okay. It was just something I was hoping to do with my new friend.
Mary: Hang on. Uh, yes. It's fine. Ban is lifted.
George Sr.: Mary.
Mary: It's for his friend. He's got a friend. Besides, those could have been rats. Their bodies were so badly burned.

Mary: So your father tells me you've been reading a new book?
Sheldon: I am. It's about how to make friends.
Mary: Is that something you're interested in?
Sheldon: Not really, but Missy told me it makes you sad that I don't have any.
Mary: Oh. I got to sew that girl's mouth shut.

Mary: I'm gonna keep him company.
George Sr.: Hey, hey, hey, Mary. Mary, think this through. Right now the kids are just ignoring Sheldon. What happens if he's sitting with his mommy?
Mary: They could mistake me for a senior. ... Well, I look younger than you.

Principal Petersen: George, you got any thoughts here?
George Sr.: I certainly do. Mary, tell him.
Mary: It's simple. We don't have a choice.
Principal Petersen: Well, you gave it a shot. We wish you luck with Sheldon elsewhere-
Mary: No, no, no. We don't have a choice. He's got to stay here. We can't afford private school. I sure can't homeschool him. He's doing calculus and Euclidean something or other.
Ms. Ingram: Euclidean geometry. Guess where I learned that.
Mary: Yeah, yeah, we know.

Mary: All I care about is that my son gets the education he deserves, so you all are gonna have to figure this out.
Principal Petersen: Coach, can you help me out here, please? 'Cause I'm dyin'.
George Sr.: I'd rather not.

Mary: Okay, well You have a good day. And I'll pick you up after school, same door we came in.
Sheldon: Are you crying or having an allergy attack?
Mary: Allergies.
Sheldon: It's probably the ammonia.
Mary: Probably.