Mary Quotes

Quote from the episode Summer Sausage, a Pocket Poncho, and Tony Danza

George Jr.: So what do you want to talk about?
Mary: Um, I don't know. How's school?
George Jr.: It's school, it's a turd fest.
Mary: Charming. Are you dating anyone?
George Jr.: Nah, nobody up to my standards.
Mary: Sure.
George Jr.: Can I ask you a question?
Mary: Course, you can ask me anything.
George Jr.: Were you pregnant with me when you married Dad?
Mary: Um, why would you ask that?
George Jr.: Sheldon said so.
Mary: How would Sheldon know?
George Jr.: He did the math.
Mary: What math?
George Jr.: He said the time between my birthday and your wedding day was six months.
Mary: Um, yeah. That's because you were born premature.
George Jr.: I've seen my birth certificate, it said I weighed nine pounds.
Mary: Yes, that's true. You were a big fat preemie. Let's talk about something else.
George Jr.: Why?
Mary: 'Cause I'd very much like to.

Quote from the episode Summer Sausage, a Pocket Poncho, and Tony Danza

George Jr.: If it's just the two of us, why can't I eat watching TV?
Mary: 'Cause you're having dinner with your mother and it's a chance for us to talk.
George Jr.: Sheldon's having dinner and looking out the window.
Mary: Want me to have him join us?
George Jr.: No!
Mary: Then quit complaining.

Quote from the episode Summer Sausage, a Pocket Poncho, and Tony Danza

George Sr.: Do I really need to get dressed up to go to Red Lobster?
Mary: You're getting dressed up for your daughter. And that's a new shirt, so be sure to ask for a bib.

Quote from the episode Summer Sausage, a Pocket Poncho, and Tony Danza

Mary: Did you forget you have a daughter who would really benefit from having a good man to look up to? Oh, dear Lord. You did forget.

Quote from the episode Summer Sausage, a Pocket Poncho, and Tony Danza

George Sr.: Mmm. Good ratio of hot dog chunks to spaghetti.
Mary: I've been experimenting. Glad you noticed.

Quote from the episode A Dog, a Squirrel, and a Fish Named Fish

Mary: Baby, what's wrong?
Sheldon: I tried to pet Fish! Ah, he was so slimy!
Mary: Well, yeah, he's a fish.

Quote from the episode A Dog, a Squirrel, and a Fish Named Fish

Sheldon: Meemaw got punched in the face because of me.
Mary: No, that wasn't because of you, and for the record, your meemaw gets punched in the face all the time.

Quote from the episode A Dog, a Squirrel, and a Fish Named Fish

George Sr.: All right. Everyone's upset, it's late. Maybe we should drop this for tonight?
Herschel Sparks: That's a good idea.
Mary: Okay. You just keep your dog away from my son.
George Sr.: There you go picking it up again.
Mary: I am sorry, but their dog broke into our home. Something he probably learned from your brother.
Brenda Sparks: How dare you.
Herschel Sparks: Okay, I think that's a good stopping point.

Quote from the episode A Dog, a Squirrel, and a Fish Named Fish

Meemaw: Maybe having this mutt next door won't be so bad. Shelly could end up getting used to it.
George Sr.: That's true. Remember when he got all freaked out by the fruit at the bottom of yogurt? Now he eats it no problem.
Mary: He still makes me stir it.

Quote from the episode A Dog, a Squirrel, and a Fish Named Fish

Mary: She can cut her own crusts off.