Mary Quotes

Quote from the episode Teenager Soup and a Little Ball of Fib

Mary: Okay, calm down. Now, you listen to me, you shouldn't have lied. It's always wrong. But you made up for it by telling me the truth.
Sheldon: So, you forgive me?
Mary: I do, but I need you to do me a favor. As far as your father is concerned, you were sick.
Sheldon: Isn't that lying?
Mary: Honestly? No.

Quote from the episode Teenager Soup and a Little Ball of Fib

George Jr.: If you're gonna do this, let me give you some pointers.
Sheldon: You've done this before?
George Jr.: Tell him.
Missy: Oh, he's the master. He coached me through my last two sore throats.
Sheldon: I slept on the couch during those.
Missy: I know.

Quote from the episode Teenager Soup and a Little Ball of Fib

George Sr.: Doesn't this all seem a little convenient?
Mary: You think he's faking it?
George Sr.: Today's the swim test. It's pretty suspicious.
Missy: Sheldon just coughed up something gross in a tissue.
Mary: See? And that's why he's staying home.
George Sr.: Mary, come on.
Mary: No, I am not changing my mind. My little boy is not a liar.

Quote from the episode A Party Invitation, Football Grapes and an Earth Chicken

Brenda Sparks: Hope you're happy. Billy's missing his own party 'cause he's playing spaceman in the chicken coop with your son.
Mary: You were right. I shouldn't have made you invite him. I'm sorry.
Brenda Sparks: Okay. Well, good.
Mary: It's just hard to see him be left out. And I worry it's not gonna get better when he grows older.
Brenda Sparks: Can't say that Billy is exactly Mr. Popular either.
Mary: I'm sure this kind of stuff bothers me way more than it bothers Sheldon.
Brenda Sparks: Doesn't make it any easier, does it?
Mary: No.

Quote from the episode A Party Invitation, Football Grapes and an Earth Chicken

Mary: I'm gonna take Shelly back home so that Billy can get back to his party.
Brenda Sparks: Eh. You know, they're having fun out there.
Sheldon: Gallus gallus domesticus pooped on my uniform! The mission is compromised!
Brenda Sparks: Maybe take him home.
Mary: Yeah.

Quote from the episode A Party Invitation, Football Grapes and an Earth Chicken

Missy: "Dear Sheldon and Missy, thank you for coming to my party. I liked playing with Mr. Spock and watching Missy throw up Kool-Aid in the bushes." Still tasted like cherry. "My mother also threw up, but that was because of wine. My dad says she drinks because"-
Mary: Okay, that's nice.
Missy: But there's more.
Mary: No, there's not.
Sheldon: Guess we'll never know why she drinks.

Quote from the episode A Party Invitation, Football Grapes and an Earth Chicken

Mary: You can't wear that. No one else is gonna be dressed up.
Sheldon: That's fine. I plan on pretending I'm a neutral observer of an alien culture.
Mary: Or you can go and play with the other kids and wear pants from this planet.

Quote from the episode A Party Invitation, Football Grapes and an Earth Chicken

Sheldon: I thought you said I was supposed to have fun.
Mary: Go and change. You are not wearing that.
Sheldon: Then I'm not going.
Mary: You're going.
Sheldon: Then I'm wearing this.
Mary: No, you're not.
Sheldon: Yes, I am.
Mary: Well, if you're gonna wear that, you need to participate.
Sheldon: Participate how?
Mary: Party games, cake and singing "Happy Birthday."
Sheldon: No games, one slice of cake, and I will mouth the words while the others sing.
Mary: One game, and you need to interact with the other children.

Quote from the episode A Party Invitation, Football Grapes and an Earth Chicken

Mary: I just think it's important that every once in a while Sheldon does normal kid things.
George Sr.: You realize he's not a normal kid?
Mary: Of course I do.
George Sr.: Then what are you doing?
Mary: I'm trying to make sure he knows how to be social so he doesn't become some lonely adult no one wants to be around.
George Sr.: Damn it.

Quote from the episode A Party Invitation, Football Grapes and an Earth Chicken

Pastor Jeff: He said it was to love God and love your neighbor as yourself. And that's what I want to talk about today, being a good neighbor. How do we love our neighbors? We check in on them, we welcome them into our homes. If we're having a party, we invite them. Even if they're not the most popular.
Brenda Sparks: Are you kidding me?
Mary: Shh.

Quote from the episode A Party Invitation, Football Grapes and an Earth Chicken

Mary: Well, I'm not trying to be mean here either, but you are behaving very unneighborly.
Brenda Sparks: [scoffs] That was mean?
Mary: You're darn tootin'.
Brenda Sparks: Tootin'?
Mary: Tootin'!

Quote from the episode The Sin of Greed and a Chimichanga from Chi-Chi's

Mary: Greed has entered into your hearts, especially you two.
George Sr.: It has not.
Mary: Is that a gold whistle?
George Sr.: Huh? No. It's- It's a gift. Now, where's our stuff? We want it back.
Mary: I'm not telling.
George Sr.: Mary, don't make me ask again.
Mary: Or what?

Quote from the episode The Sin of Greed and a Chimichanga from Chi-Chi's

George Jr.: What's for dinner?
Mary: Meatloaf.
George Jr.: Oh. I think I'm gonna go out to eat.
Mary: No, you are not. We're having dinner as a family.
George Jr.: Yeah, but I got money now and I can do what I want. And what I want is a chimichanga at Chi-Chi's.
Missy: I want a chimichanga from Chi-Chi's.
Meemaw: They do have a good margarita.
Mary: [to Georgie] You are eating here. [Missy] So are you. [Meemaw] I don't care what you do.

Quote from the episode The Sin of Greed and a Chimichanga from Chi-Chi's

Mary: Missy, let this be a lesson to you. The love of money is the root of all evil.

Quote from the episode The Sin of Greed and a Chimichanga from Chi-Chi's

George Sr.: The university wants to offer me a coaching job if it'll help to get Sheldon to go there full-time.
Mary: Oh. We talked about this. College might be too much for him.
George Sr.: I know. That's why I'd be there, you know, to help him over the rough spots.
Mary: I don't know, George.
George Sr.: Can't hurt to see what the offer is.
Mary: There are more important things than money.
George Sr.: That's cute. You should knit that on a pillow.
Mary: [to herself] Maybe I'll push that pillow over your face.

Quote from the episode Pongo Pygmaeus and a Culture that Encourages Spitting

Mary: [answering phone] Hello?
Brenda Sparks: I heard your daughter's playing baseball.
Mary: Hey, Brenda.
Brenda Sparks: What were you thinking?
Mary: Excuse me?
Brenda Sparks: My Billy's on that team. Baseball's for boys.
Mary: Says who?
Brenda Sparks: Says everyone. It's not ladylike. [to Billy] Save some pudding for your father!
Billy Sparks: Aw.
Brenda Sparks: Okay, where was I?
Mary: You were telling me what was ladylike and then yelled at your son like a dock foreman.

Quote from the episode Pongo Pygmaeus and a Culture that Encourages Spitting

Brenda Sparks: [on the phone] Listen, I'm just doing you a favor. The other moms on the team are starting to talk.
Mary: Well, maybe the other moms need to mind their own business.
Brenda Sparks: Come on, Mary. Isn't one weird kid in your family enough? You going for a record?
Mary: [hanging up] You're playing baseball.
Missy: But you said it was my decision.
Mary: It is. And you're playing.

Quote from the episode A Parasol and a Hell of an Arm

Dr. John Sturgis: Well, hello, Sheldon. Hello, Mary. I don't think I've ever seen you here before.
Mary: It's my first time.
Sheldon: I took her on a tour.
Mary: It was extremely thorough.

Quote from the episode A Parasol and a Hell of an Arm

Dr. John Sturgis: So, uh, how's Connie?
Sheldon: Actually...
Mary: Sheldon, why don't you go save me a seat?
Sheldon: Smart. The front row is a hot ticket.
Mary: Anyway, uh, Mom's good.
Dr. John Sturgis: Because she's usually the one who brings Sheldon.
Mary: Well, she's been pretty busy lately.

Quote from the episode A Parasol and a Hell of an Arm

Meemaw: I need coffee.
Mary: You need a shower.