Adult Sheldon: Nothing was able to shake me from my doldrums, not even Dr. Sturgis's jaunty new sweater-vest.
Dr. John Sturgis: Sheldon?
Sheldon: Yes?
Dr. John Sturgis: You seem distracted.
Sheldon: I really wanted to see Stephen Hawking speak at Caltech, but my parents can't afford the trip.
Dr. John Sturgis: That's too bad. Dr. H puts on a heck of a show.
Sheldon: I believe it.
Dr. John Sturgis: Would it make you feel better to know this vest is reversible?
Sheldon: A little. Thanks.

Dr. Linkletter: I can't believe you'd use our book club to hit on Connie.
Dr. John Sturgis: And you didn't, Captain Cookies?
Dr. Linkletter: All right, if we're both gonna pursue her, let's lay down some ground rules.
Dr. John Sturgis: Fair enough.
Dr. Linkletter: And my ginger snaps are moist and delicious!
Dr. John Sturgis: Yeah, keep telling yourself that.

Meemaw: Well, you have to let me cook for you sometime.
Dr. John Sturgis: But I enjoy cooking for you. It's a means of expressing my affection. It also allows me to control the amount of garlic, which gives me the burps.
Meemaw: Well, I do make a mean barbecue, and I promise I can make it garlic-free.
Dr. John Sturgis: Excellent! Next time, you can express your affection for me.

Dr. John Sturgis: Excuse me. I'm looking for Ira.
Ira Rosenbloom: At your service. What can I do for you?
Dr. John Sturgis: You, sir, have overstepped your bounds.
Ira Rosenbloom: I'm sorry, what?
Dr. John Sturgis: Miss Constance Tucker made it clear your courtship was no longer welcome, and you responded with six chairs, a table, and an expansion leaf.
Ira Rosenbloom: Who are you?
Dr. John Sturgis: John Sturgis, the man she chose and your romantic rival.
Ira Rosenbloom: I-I'm sorry, wait, what-what is it you want from me?
Dr. John Sturgis: I want you to give up your pursuit of Connie.
Ira Rosenbloom: All right, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave my store.
Dr. John Sturgis: Very well. The line in the sand has been drawn. Cross it at your own peril.
Ira Rosenbloom: Weirdo.
Dr. John Sturgis: What was that?
Ira Rosenbloom: You heard me.
Dr. John Sturgis: Sir, I am a man with feelings. And you have hurt them.

Sheldon: Are you two fighting?
Meemaw: No.
Dr. John Sturgis: Oh, good. I was almost certain that we were.
Meemaw: We are.
Sheldon: I'm confused.
Dr. John Sturgis: Me, too.

Meemaw: All right, now, listen, if this relationship's gonna have any chance at all, we have to lay down some ground rules.
Sheldon: Great. I love rules.
Dr. John Sturgis: I do, too.

Sheldon: How come you never mentioned she was coming to this class?
Dr. John Sturgis: I thought it would be a fun surprise.
Sheldon: I don't like surprises.
Dr. John Sturgis: Neither do I.
Sheldon: Then why did you do it?
Dr. John Sturgis: Some people like surprises.
Paige: I love surprises.
Dr. John Sturgis: Did you enjoy this one?
Paige: Yes.
Dr. John Sturgis: A 50% success rate. Not bad.

Dr. John Sturgis: I was calling because there's a new student in my class who's Sheldon's age.
Mary: No kidding.
Dr. John Sturgis: Her mother wondered if I could put you two in contact since you have so much in common.
Mary: Oh, of course.
Dr. John Sturgis: Excellent. I'll give you the number when you're ready.
Mary: Um, I am ready.
Dr. John Sturgis: 409-356-6049.
Mary: John?
Dr. John Sturgis: Yes?
Mary: That's my number.
Dr. John Sturgis: [LAUGHS] So it is!

Dr. John Sturgis: Now, does anyone know what happens to quarks when we combine them to make mesons and baryons? Yes, Paige.
Paige: We can ignore the particle masses at the individual quark level.
Dr. John Sturgis: Correct. You are really- [remembering Meemaw's warning] That was correct, Paige. And, Sheldon, is that a new bow tie?
Sheldon: It is.
Dr. John Sturgis: Lookin' sharp!
Sheldon: Thanks.
Dr. John Sturgis: That was a close one.

Dr. John Sturgis: He's like a young version of me, but without corrective shoes.

Dr. John Sturgis: Oh, my, I don't know where to begin. Well, first of all, I'm thankful to you, Connie, for how you make me laugh, make me feel cared for, all the ways you're affectionate to me that I can't discuss in-in front of children because that would be inappropriate, right?
Meemaw: Right.
Dr. John Sturgis: And I'm thankful to be here with your wonderful family. This is something I didn't experience growing up. See, my father was away a great deal on business and it was just me and my mother and she was a cold and distant woman who blamed the world for her club foot.
Meemaw: Sweetie.
Dr. John Sturgis: And I-
Meemaw: Wrap it up.
Dr. John Sturgis: Sorry. My gratitude knows no bounds.

Dr. John Sturgis: Difficult day.
Sheldon: Yes.
Dr. John Sturgis: Psychology? Is that a new interest of yours?
Sheldon: It was either this or milking cows.
Dr. John Sturgis: Oh. I once was licked by a cow. You made the right choice.

Dr. John Sturgis: There's an upcoming event at the university, and I'd like you to be my plus-one.
Meemaw: Oh. Well, I'd love to go.
Dr. John Sturgis: Wonderful! It's a date. Bye.
Meemaw: Wait, wait. Hang on there, partner. I need a little more information. When is this event?
Dr. John Sturgis: This Friday night.
Meemaw: Oh. What time?
Dr. John Sturgis: I'm not sure.
Meemaw: Well, will there be food?
Dr. John Sturgis: I have no idea.
Meemaw: What's the dress code?
Dr. John Sturgis: Not a clue.
Meemaw: Well, what do you know?
Dr. John Sturgis: You're my plus-one.
Meemaw: Well, you go do a little more research and get back to me.
Dr. John Sturgis: You got it!
Meemaw: Bye.
Dr. John Sturgis: Wait.
Meemaw: What?
Dr. John Sturgis: Love you!
Meemaw: Love you, too.

Meemaw: Oh, look. Shrimp cocktail. Let's get some.
Dr. Linkletter: Now, hang on.
Dr. John Sturgis: Hey. Take your hand off her, or there are gonna be some severe consequences.
Dr. Linkletter: Whoa, John, calm down. What do you see in this guy?
Dr. John Sturgis: All right, that's it! [John shoves Dr. Linkletter]
Dr. Linkletter: Oh, boy, you shouldn't have done that. [Dr. Linkletter shoves John]
Meemaw: That's enough! Both of you, just cool your jets.
Dr. John Sturgis: This isn't over, Dr. Linkletter!
Dr. Linkletter: Anytime, anyplace, Dr. Sturgis.
Dr. John Sturgis: And your graviton research is mediocre at best!
Meemaw: Keep moving.
Dr. John Sturgis: Are you angry with me?
Meemaw: More turned on.
Dr. John Sturgis: Ooh. Great. Let's go.

Dr. John Sturgis: Here's an idea. Why don't you and Sheldon come live with me? And then you can take care of both of us.
Meemaw: Trial run sounds like the way to go.
Dr. John Sturgis: Not ready to shack up, are you?