Adult Sheldon: Whenever I wasn't being challenged intellectually, my brain was more than happy to step up and accommodate. It was like having the perfect playmate in my skull.

Adult Sheldon: I didn't know everything, but compared to her friends at water aerobics, I could see how it felt that way.

Adult Sheldon: It was a beautiful morning in East Texas. The kind of morning that made you want to get up, get dressed and test that acceleration due to gravity does not depend on an object's motion.

Adult Sheldon: The Earth causes the same gravitational acceleration of everything, even a doll and a flying Ping-Pong ball. It's not often a man of science gets to say "Yippee ki-yay," and mean it, but-
Sheldon: Yippee ki-yay.

Sheldon: [DOG PANTING] Mom! [DOG BARKS]
Adult Sheldon: At least this time, sound came out. I call that progress.

Adult Sheldon: The next step was to go face-to-face with real dogs. Albeit through a plate-glass window.
Sheldon: Okay, that's enough.

Adult Sheldon: And finally, a close encounter of the third kind, physical contact with a member of the canine species.

Adult Sheldon: In my life, I've often been accused of being a physical coward, and for the most part, those accusations are correct. But there have been times when I've shown great courage. This was one of them.

Adult Sheldon: During that time, I saw three cars drive by and a raccoon dragging a slice of pizza.

Adult Sheldon: I also had extraordinary hearing. During dinner, I could tune out the cacophony of chewing, slurping, chewing, cutlery scraping against plates, chewing, and my father's heavy breathing as he wrestled with a ketchup bottle.

[After dodging the paper bundle]
Adult Sheldon: Fun fact, the larger Sunday paper required a second bundle. [Sheldon gets knocked down by the second bundle]

Adult Sheldon: After a week of tangling with animals, Mother Nature, and a delivery man with a good arm and a bad attitude, it was time to reap the benefits of my hard work.

Adult Sheldon: For the next several months, I continued working my paper route until I paid my father back. And by working, I mean delegating.
[Billy Sparks is out in the rain, riding a bicycle with a wagon full of papers, as he hurls one at a house]
Billy Sparks: I have no idea where I am.

Adult Sheldon: : Vulcans use a technique called Kolinahr to suppress their emotions.
Mary: [OFF-SCREEN] Sheldon, they're here!
Adult Sheldon: Obviously, I wasn't a Vulcan. So I did the next best thing: took my feelings and shoved them down so far they may have been lost forever.

Paige: Sheldon! [She hugs him]
[flashback:] Dr. McCoy: The release of emotions, Mr. Spock, is what keeps us healthy.
Adult Sheldon: Dr. McCoy was an idiot.

Adult Sheldon: For most students, the weekend represented two days of fun, freedom, and in the case of my brother, a chance to ignore all forms of hygiene. But this wasn't a typical weekend, because this was the weekend I got to do my parents' taxes.
Sheldon: Howdy do, W-2.

Adult Sheldon: While my sister and I are twins, we've always been different. By the age of two, I was reading books. Missy was content to eat them. By five, I had a healthy appreciation for a well-organized work space. My sister, less so.

Adult Sheldon: My mother's fears that no one would be saved that Halloween night were proven incorrect.
Mr. Lundy: As they kissed, she thought about the choices that led her to this moment.
Adult Sheldon: Mr. Lundy's scene about lust made a deep impact on my brother's date.
Mr. Lundy: Her youth was gone. She had traded her beauty for a few tawdry dollars, and now she had nothing left but shame and venereal disease.
Adult Sheldon: She asked to be saved by Jesus.
Veronica: [CRYING] I don't want to live like this anymore.
Mary: Oh, just repeat after me-
Adult Sheldon: And as it turns out, she was. She went on to live a life devoted to God, feeding the poor, even helping her sister start a literacy program for female prisoners. My brother, on the other hand, became a devout atheist after that night.
Mary: We got one!

Paige: I'm bored. Let's get out of here.
Sheldon: I can't. I told my dad I'd stay here until the end of the lecture.
Paige: Okay. Be a baby. I'm leaving.
Dr. Barrett: In our case, the math yields approximately 48,000 years.
Adult Sheldon: I was most certainly not a baby. If anyone was a baby, it was she, because people who call other people babies are the real babies.
Sheldon: [WHISPERING] Wait up.

Adult Sheldon: As a child, I never understood the sacrifices my father made for his family's happiness, which made me somewhat less compassionate than I should've been.
Sheldon: Yay. We're not moving.