Sheldon: [knocking] Missy?
Missy: What?
Sheldon: Sometimes I imagine that I'm an ion with a positive charge and they're an ion with a negative charge. It's so that whatever they say bounces off me and sticks to them.

Mary: Now, the thing you have to understand is Shelly is incredibly bright. I mean, his IQ is right up there with Albert Einstein and that English wheelchair fella.

Missy: Why can't we watch Duck Tales?
Sheldon: Because we don't learn anything.
Missy: It's TV! We aren't supposed to learn.

George Sr.: I got fired, Sheldon. And I got a bad reputation.

Mary: Aw, baby, everything all right?
George Jr.: I don't want to talk about it.
Mary: You might feel better if you do. Is it about a girl?
George Jr.: How do you know?
Mary: Sometimes a mother can sense these things.

Adult Sheldon: The addition of Libby brought a level of sophistication to our lunchtime discussion.
Her mom also packed extra string cheese, which is a well-known social lubricant.

Mary: Hey, what you reading?
Missy: A magazine.
Mary: Oh. Making a collage for school?
Missy: No, just reading it.
Mary: Look at that. Maybe Sheldon isn't the only bookworm around here. Which magazine?
Missy: Cosmopolitan.
Mary: What?
Missy: It's a magazine for today's woman. [Mary takes the magazine] Hey! I was about to find out what turns a man on.

Meemaw: You know, if I had something in my room she might disapprove of, I might be looking for a real good hiding place right about now.
George Jr.: I think I'm okay.
Missy: Your air vent? [Georgie rushes back to his room]

Sheldon: I'm ready to go to college.
Mrs. Costello: Okay. Where you thinking?
Sheldon: Somewhere with a good science program, but far enough away to make my mom cry herself to sleep every night that I'm gone.
Mrs. Costello: You're applying to college out of spite?
Sheldon: I see why you're the guidance counselor.

Sheldon: I was thinking about the mass problem of your neutrinos, and I realized we might be able to solve it if some of the particles have more spin.
Dr. John Sturgis: Interesting. That would certainly get our neutrino mass to zero. Although it does open up a problem with double beta decay.
Sheldon: Hmm. That is true. Unless what it's actually predicting is a magnetic monopole.
Dr. John Sturgis: Might be difficult to control the infinities. Although, if you consider adding faster-than-light particles like tachyons, then I suppose you could...
Sheldon: Quantize time.
Dr. John Sturgis: Yes! Hang on! If we're gonna be thinking at this level, I should put on pants!

Mary: Oh, thank you, Lord, for connecting us with the parents of another special child. [Mary sees Georgie and Missy sitting on the couch] You kids are special, too.
George Jr.: Do you feel special?
Missy: At least I'm the only daughter. You got nothing.

Paige: Hi, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Hello.
Paige: What are you doing?
Sheldon: Chemistry homework for extra credit.
Paige: Cute, I did that last year.

Sheldon: Oh, I couldn't tell you how much to give. But I can tell you the Stuckeys stepped up for a thousand dollars. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, you need to give what's comfortable for you. And of course, I don't need to remind you, it's entirely tax deductible. [Missy whispers in Sheldon's ear] And at the next pancake breakfast, you can hold your head high. Thank you.
That's very generous. Goodbye. [hangs up phone] The pancake line closed it.
Missy: We are so going to heaven.

Tam: Since when do you drink coffee?
Sheldon: I don't, but this job is killing me. You wouldn't understand.
Tam: You realize I have a job.
Sheldon: At your parents' convenience store? That doesn't count.
Tam: Why not?
Sheldon: You get to sit at a cash register and have the fun of doing math.
Tam: Actually, the cash register tells you how much change to give.
Sheldon: Oh. That's too bad.

Ms. Fenley: Do you know this sonata?
Sheldon: No.
Ms. Fenley: How long have you played the piano?
Sheldon: I don't play piano.

[Missy outside her parents' bedroom eavesdropping on their conversation]
George Sr.: Like I'm some kind of loser, a booby prize.
Missy: Booby prize.
Mary: What was that? [Missy runs away and knocks on Georgie's door, he comes out just as Mary opens her door] Georgie, you mind your own business.
George Jr.: What did I do?

Sheldon: Mom! Meemaw swatted me on the bottom!
Mary: What? Why?
Sheldon: I wanted something, and then she said no, and then I called her selfish, and then she went crazy!
Mary: Let me call her.
Missy: Really? You don't want to thank her in person?

George Sr.: Hang on. What did you think was gonna happen when we sent him to high school?
Mary: I don't know, that he'd learn stuff, and then, come back home and be my baby forever.
George Sr.: Mare, it's good for him. He may start college in a couple years, what happens then?
Mary: Off the top of my head, he and I share a dorm room.
George Sr.: You know I'd laugh at that if I didn't kind of believe you.

Missy: We'll be okay on our own.
Sheldon: Yeah, we need to prove we can do this.
Meemaw: All right. I respect that. And I'm happy to keep this little incident a secret.
Missy: Really? I'm telling everyone. It was hilarious.

Missy: All I know is, he's not in the same grade as me any more. And I'm thrilled.