Mary: Apparently she's taking the divorce really hard. I guess she's been having trouble in school.
Meemaw: Aw, poor thing.
Mary: Linda thinks Sheldon might be a good influence, you know, maybe rub off on her a little bit.
George: What, she wants her kid to be more like Sheldon? I don't know what to say about that.

Sheldon: Now we have to sift the powder again because the platinum particles are extremely small, sometimes no more than just a few atoms.
Georgie: If I was as smart as you, I'd play the stock market. Or go on Price Is Right.

George: Did you know Sheldon and Georgie are working on something together?
Mary: That's nice. And guess what Missy asked me if she could wear a cross. She's in her bedroom saying prayers right now.
George: Hmm. I don't like it.
Mary: What are you talking about? Our kids are behaving.
George: Exactly. Something bad's gonna happen.
Mary: Why can't you just be thankful?
George: Because that's when life kicks you right in the plums, Mary.

George: Ugh, come on, Bucky, try throwing it to someone on your own team.
Keith: Is that the Aggie game?
George: Yeah, we're down by ten. You like A&M?
Keith: I was raised a Cornhusker, but when in Texas.
George: Huh, science and sports? Didn't know that was a thing.
Keith: It is possible to be a scientist and a normal guy.
[meanwhile:]
Dr. John Sturgis: [as his head is rubbed] May your team be victorious!
[back:]
George: Not my experience.

Keith: Someone's got to be in charge, but when you step up and do it, everyone gets upset.
George: So your problem is a woman's mad at you and Sheldon thinks you're dumb?
Keith: Yeah.
George: Welcome to my life, friend.
Keith: W- What do I do?
George: You- You quit complaining. You're young, you're smart, you're not tied down. This is as good as it gets.
Keith: It is?
George: Yes. I wish I was 20 again. Eating and drinking and being skinny. Now go back in there, finish your project, and get your ass to a keg party. Go!

Sheldon: I'm glad Dr. Sturgis let me read his paper before he published.
George: Why is that?
Sheldon: He's getting numbers for the massive neutrinos that are in excess of a hundred giga-electron volts.
George: Well, good for him.
Sheldon: No, it's embarrassing.
George: Had a 50-50 shot.

George: Sheldon, I'm not driving you home. I got practice in minutes.
Sheldon: Then call Mom and tell her to bring them to me.
George: She's working, too.
Sheldon: But I need my goggles!
George: Then use the ones in class. And I don't want to hear about eyebrow lice.
Sheldon: The ones in class are too big for me. What if they fall off and something happens to my eyes? If I go blind, I'll need a Seeing Eye dog, and I'm scared of dogs.
George: Hey! Is this how you plan on acting when you get to college?
Sheldon: No.
George: Good, 'cause you're gonna need to handle stuff like this on your own.
Sheldon: I can handle it.
George: I hope so.

George: Nothing to be embarrassed about. It's perfectly natural. Perfectly normal.
Missy: Dad, I know.
George: I'm telling myself. Uh... How much money you need?
Missy: I'm not going in there. You are.
George: Why can't you go? It's embarrassing.
Missy: You just said it wasn't embarrassing.
George: Well, it is and I lied.

Umpire: Strike three, you're out.
George: There you go! Ha! That's how you do it!
Woman: Is that your little girl?
George: That's my little lady. [Missy spits on the mound] Well, sometimes.

Mary: The kids are asleep. You gonna watch that?
George: Well, it's MacGyver. He makes stuff out of other stuff. Why, did you want to watch something else?
Mary: I thought maybe we could watch a movie.
George: Sure, yeah, which one?
Mary: Um... I don't know. I heard that that movie Road House is supposed to be good.
George: What's it about?
Mary: I think it's about a guy, um... Dalton. Who's a bouncer who has to clean up a bar that's been overrun by a bunch of bad guys.
George: Oh, yeah, it's got that guy that looks like Georgie in it.
Mary: No, he doesn't.
George: [laughs] Are you kidding? He looks exactly like him.
Mary: Let's just watch MacGyver.
George: Cool.

Missy: Dad, Sheldon got hurt.
George: How?
Missy: A chicken chased him into a mailbox.
George: Course it did.

Mary: Shelly, you okay?
Sheldon: I fractured my ulna.
George: He's fine. I told you you didn't need to come down here.
Mary: My baby is in the emergency room.
George: Yeah, with his father.
Mary: Who let him get hurt.
George: Me? I wasn't even there. If anything, it was Missy's fault.
Sheldon: And Belinda Sparks.
Mary: Who?
George: A chicken.
Mary: What does a chicken have to do with this?

Adult Sheldon: My sister's crankiness did not dampen my enthusiasm. A chicken may have fractured my arm, but nothing could break my can-do spirit.
Sheldon: All in the bowl, none on me. I call that a successful urination.
George: Great. Go teach your brother.

Georgie: Now, it needs a little bit of work, but once I'm done, it's gonna be amazing.
George: No.
Georgie: What do you mean? It's got low mileage, great stereo. Check this out. [opens side door] Look at all the room.
George: Hell no.
Georgie: Why?
George: This isn't a car. It's a motel room on wheels.
Georgie: Is that how little you think of me?
George: [scoffs] Yes. Maybe less.

George: Missy doing anything stupid?
Mary: No.
George: One out of three. Not bad.