George Sr.: You understand any of that?
Mary: I don't know, I guess he's just being a little boy.
George Sr.: Since when?

George Sr.: Anyway, that leaves us with the big question: how do we get your mom on board with you going where Sturgis teaches?
Sheldon: Well, how did you get her to agree to marry you?
George Sr.: Oh, that won't work. She doesn't drink anymore.

Mary: You're gonna have to introduce us to this girl.
George Jr.: Why?
George Sr.: 'Cause she's having our grandbaby, you dumb son of a bitch.
Mary: George! But what he said.
George Jr.: I'll ask her, but she's not very happy with me right now.
George Sr.: Yeah, I like her already.

George Sr.: What?
Missy: Nothing. ... I love you.
George Sr.: Okay.
Sheldon: In case it's not apparent, she was speaking for both of us.
George Sr.: Okay.

George Sr.: Hey. Got to go pick up some equipment for the team; you want to join me?
George Jr.: Can't. I'm grounded.
George Sr.: Yeah, well I won't tell if you won't.
George Jr.: Sheldon going?
George Sr.: That little snitch? Absolutely not.
George Jr.: Sheldon still gonna help you with the math?
George Sr.: I don't think so. But I did hear his little Asian friend can do it.

George Sr.: You mean Sheldon? You can't let that bother you.
George Jr.: It doesn't bother you? You got called to the principal's office.
George Sr.: Yeah, that wasn't so great.

Sheldon: Dad, are you sad that you got fired?
George Sr.: Mostly angry. But, yeah, maybe a little sad.

Mary: What's up, sweetie?
Sheldon: I was wondering when I could continue my rocketry hobby.
George Sr.: Uh, Sheldon, we've been through this. You can build them. You just can't launch them.
Sheldon: But launching them is the fun part.
George Sr.: Tell that to the family of squirrels who died in the fire.

George Sr.: Oh, come on. You can't blame yourself. This isn't gonna last. Remember the time a bee got in the house and he slept under a net for a couple months?

George Sr.: "Right on. Right on."

Dr. Goetsch: Okay. Let me just start by saying you came to the right place. Sheldon and I happen to have a lot in common. I, too, was a special little boy. In the fourth grade, I was reading at a seventh grade level. And I don't have to tell you where I was by the seventh grade. [silence] Tenth.
George Sr.: I'm gonna give the beanbag a whirl.

Dr. Goetsch: You'd be surprised how many children have food phobias.
Mary: Is that so?
Dr. Goetsch: Oh, yeah. When I was Sheldon's age, I was afraid of that weird skin on top of puddin'.
George Sr.: Really? Me, too. You know, you put a little Saran Wrap on-
Mary: George!

Mary: I think we should call the police.
George Sr.: We don't need the police. We'll find him.
Mary: This is all my fault. He ran away because we took him to a therapist.
George Sr.: That's $15 we ain't getting back.

George Sr.: Let's go for it.
Assistant Coach Wilkins: Why? We got plenty of time.
George Sr.: I know. Still want to go for it.
Assistant Coach Wilkins: We're on the 12-yard line. Everybody know you punt.
George Sr.: Why does everybody knowing something make it right?

Mary: I feel bad about yelling at Georgie.
George Sr.: He deserved it. You should do it more.

Missy: Mom.
Mary: What?
Missy: There's something wrong with Sheldon again.
Sheldon: I figured it out! I figured it out!
George Sr.: One night. I want to sleep one night.

George Sr.: Yeah, I don't mean to be rude, but we've been waitin' for an hour to see your boss.
Mrs. Veazey: I'm sorry, sir, but you didn't have an appointment.
George Sr.: We didn't have an appointment 'cause every time I called, you put me on hold.

George Sr.: I might make it this weekend.
Mary: Or you could try a vegetable.
George Sr.: Vegetable? That's funny.

George Jr.: What are you doing?
George Sr.: [GASPS] Nothing! Get out of here.
George Jr.: You're looking for her brisket recipe.
George Sr.: All of a sudden you got smart? I said get out of here.

Meemaw: Hey.
George Sr.: What do you want?
Meemaw: Don't be that way. I brought you a cold one.
George Sr.: Thanks. I still don't like you.